6:14pm

It's hard to find a real lady this days but you know what is even harder finding rather a real man making his way towards you. The only time men and women agree is when they are high either on each other or on other substances. 

Allow me to use " finding" for now though I am old fashioned and believe in being sought after. So "finding" a man who can be himself around you is nothing short of a miracle. I am not talking about the class clown who never knows when to switch up the play . I am talking about a legible gentleman who is willing to be himself around a lady. Or does it take a special lady to unveil the big reveal *laughs*. 

I have been fortunate enough to "come across" such men. In a way am always attracted if not attracting them with who I am as a person. Men are always complaining of how we ladies have become so "fake" from out hair to our veins . It's as though we are lying to be perfect and by that I mean we are selling them an idea of who we want them to love us by while in real sense we are the complete opposite. 

As for having "fake" hair , on my part I can explain. I am easily bored by hair. I have hair after all am not bald but having to relax it every month is too obvious for me. The reason why I advocate for the extra"lie" is because it makes us feel good about ourselves. I could be having a lousy day but the minute my hair is done, I feel as though I am cat woman. Very attractive and confident. 

Men are real but getting one to be himself when you are around is like chasing after the wind . Well it feels that way. I am not talking about the "show" they put on just to get you to give in but how about you let your guard down . I am not talking about him friend zoning you where he only tells you because he sees you like one of the guys but how about you let me see the real you. 

Well for now that is my #RealityCheck 

Figure it out

How many times have I heard that? But isn't that what we are all supposed to do? By us I mean the grown you and I. At different ages we need different words to keep us going. To keep us motivated if not inspired. 

At 2015 it doesn't matter if you are old enough but it's oftenly thrown to your face as though you were deaf. Figure it out. Know what you want and do it. Everyone is battling their own demons to pause and come help thought yours. Yes, people have changed. If it has nothing to do with them, it's not their business. Well if you are expecting the world to care or take notice please quit while you are ahead. 

To me figure it out screams more of grow up. Like start acting your age if not your weight *laughs* am sorry. Life has taught both young and old to figure it out. If whatever works for you, don't be mad when you want more out of life and it slaps you on the face. There is no room for changing your mind not going with the flow..... Simply just figure it out. All of it! 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

Imperfectly perfect

Everyone is working on perfecting what is already imperfectly perfect to another. Like the saying goes," one man's poison is another's treasure". Don't allow someone's insecurity make you doubt who you are. If they can't see it then how is that your problem. God did not need their approval so why are we so keen to seek the opinion of others?

I am an African lady. Though at times I find nothing African about myself. Don't get me wrong I just tend no I believe I have different ways of coping with life. I don't mind going out and having a good time but I would gladly trade it in for a good night sleep. I don't mind going out on a date but I prefer staying indoors and watching rather rewatching old movies. 

So when a man says you are not like other ladies is that a good thing or bad? Personally, I don't see what the rest of "those" ladies have to do with me. Did you expect to use the same tools to repair this "machine"? 

I am imperfectly perfect just the way I am and the day I will be uncomfortable in my own skin, I will gladly let you know. If I am not trying to change you, why are you trying to fix what is not broken? What makes you an expert regarding my life? You can't live your life and mine as well. 

Let's not change people and live or learn to accept them as they are. If not then change yourself. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

Sunday

I always pictured that getting pregnant while single the minute the doctor would break it down that ,"congratulations you are pregnant" my life would be over and if the same doctor confirmed the same news after having been swept off my feet by my dream man and being married in church that that would be the happiest day of my entire life. Those two scenes have one thing in common me. 

It's boy about whether it's the right time or with the right man but in the end it's down to if I am ready to handle such responsibilities? Am I ready to be a mother. Ofcourse every woman at one point in life imagines they will be mothers but sadly the ones who long to own such responsibilities end up barren while the ones ready to run the world end up being " tied down". 

This has nothing to do with if am financially stable or not. If the one am with or end up with is worth the my baby daddy title. To be honest, the way I was raised has so much to do with this personal decision. I always say the man I will end up carrying his child is one special human being. Having believed that, there is a reality check. 

To my future husband, I know you will adore me with everything in you but can you make the ultimate sacrifice of not wanting children. What if am not the problem and you end up being the one who can't give me children will I be contented to be in a childless marriage?   

What if the one for you already has kids would you be willing to settle for them or would you claim to want nothing to do with "baggage" not knowing if your tomorrow will bear fruits?  Aren't children blessings? So what happens if you can't have some or worse don't desire them?

And that is my Sunday #RealityCheck

8pm

Do you believe in miracles? I do. Ever since I was a little girl I discovered that anything I fed my mind be it negative or positive it had a way of coming to pass. The power of the mind. 

Now I don't even have to worry about being right or wrong. All I have to do is believe and just like that miracles happen. It has been a journey then and now . I can only sum it all up as just miracles. I have been fortunate enough to  overcome the tests and trials of time.  

I am a miracle child and this is my #RealityCheck 

Switch back on

Like any other human being I have bad days and days when I don't even want to get up. No not suicidal thoughts no but I just want to laze around and allow my emotions take complete control. The thing about allowing your emotions get the best of you is that snapping back to reality is a struggle. You might end up brain dead if not careful. It's like you are shutting down your brain and just surviving on "whatever". That is the difference between men and women. Men never show their emotions and never reason based on how they feel but rather on facts. That is how they manage to keep it together. 

Being human we all switch off at one point. It doesn't mean it's the end of the world. You can but how do you wire your emotions and allow your head take complete control of the rest of your body? Your emotions trigger imaginations  to your head and then is when you loose it. All sorts of negative emotions are released .... Uncertainty, jealousy , insecurity and slowly you are on the right track to becoming mad. 

One major reason why one would encounter a major emotional breakdown is because of holding on too long to what if and what could have been. When you don't forgive yourself and others the guilt slowly destroys you and holds you back. 

I will leave you with this ," Even new cars break down and sometimes you are forced to walk. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

My 10pm

I have no idea what I want to blog about. What's on my mind? A lot to be honest so much that even words feel as though they are too much to explain it all. There comes a time where you have to stand up. It might not be much but taking the first step to working towards what you want is more than enough. 

Young love is beautiful. It's inspirational. At times it never works out other times it unfolds magic. If you have never experienced it before don't beat yourself down. When it happens it will happen. Sometimes loosing is the best thing that can happen to you. It grows you. It challenges you. It makes you uncomfortable enough to want better if not more. 

So I don't know about you reading this but I plan on putting my faith to test. Not just speaking positivity into mylife but believing in myself a lot more. 

And that is my late #RealityCheck