Insecurity

This little bad habit is known to be mans worst disease and if you can or when you can avoid it. When an idea creeps up in your mind, don't let it get the best of you but use it to calm the worst in you. This is what you simply do, think the worst. Expect the worst and I assure you with that mind set you will have a care free spirit. At the end of the day you will have accomplished what you were supposed to because you did not give fear a chance. 

You would rather be wrong and be proven right than right and prove wrong. If you have the facts of course you expect the situation or our come to be positive so when it takes a different turn, you become stuck. Confused allowing paranoia destroy the inner peace you need to face any situation. You shouldn't live life on fear but you should enjoy life as it unfolds. Whether right or wrong at the end of the day what matters is your gut feeling. If you can be at peace with yourself then rest assured you can be at peace with anyone. 

Insecurity forces you to hide out in crowds so everything they disagree you tell yourself that indeed it's not right. You will always ask, seek and need their approval even for the littlest of things. Why should you be a slave to yourself? You are supposed to rediscover what limits you and how far you can go and not live your life in the shadows of others.

Insecurity goes a step further and brings with it the illusion of wanting to live your life as someone else. From idolizing to imitating their every move. It can lead to murder. The need to kill what you don't like to live as what you think or have lead your mind to believe is good will only cause you and those around you problems. 

Learn to accept yourself as you are. Hey, no one can do a better job at being you than you. There is a reason you craft that art so beautifully. Good or bad we all can't be equal but you can use what you have to better someone else. So as we bid June goodbye and look forward to a new month, let's not face it with any insecurities in mind. It might not be what we hope for but am sure it will be better. 

No more doubt or second guessing yourself. No more having to do what you think others want you to do and start living for you. Do what makes you happy and proudly because at the end of the day you will be served the consequences so you better make it worthwhile. No more insecurities, it's time to make things happen. Whatever happens happens. Remember worrying doesn't change anything but gains you stress and ages you faster. 

And that is my Insecutity #RealityCheck

100 Blogs

I wanted my one hundredth blog to be mind blowing so I will give it my all. So its is possible to fall inlove with a married man? Yes and no. Ladies before you dismiss me this soon kindly read on. Put the knife down there is no need of taking drastic measures here. Yes it is possible for two mature human being with extra baggages to fall in love with someone else even if its not with their spouses.There is this couple that I know of who had a beautiful union and did I forget to mention I looked up to the lady. I saw myself in her. Like growing up I wanted my life to unfold as beautifully as hers had unfolded. The man she settled for was not what the rest of us who truly knew her ended up with. Lets just say she settled for the readily available man so I assumed but now it has all been confirmed. I am not here to gossip nor lender juicy information or out anyone, am just here to share and hope that someone going through the same thing will not only learn but change their lives sooner than later.

Where was I, oh, turns out my so called then role model was like today's modern knight and shinning amor nothing more than a cheap aluminum foil for his shine and the knight lets just say at this gay rate well, anything is possible. How could such a human being so calm and convincingly beautiful be a heartless and bitter old witch? What makes me mad is the modern day couple that takes their vows in church and promise all those words to not only each other but God then cheat. Like seriously why go through all that trouble to prove a point to your fellow human being who in real sense can see past the act you are putting on but to go further and involve God then cheat? Really I don't support divorce but this would come in handy. We serve a merciful God so he knew you couldn't handle going home to the same old routine so instead of getting yourself a side hobby try working the marriage out if you got in it for all the right reasons and if it still doesn't work out, leave. Don't even think of using the kids as an excuse to stick around .I will come back to the kids issue.

Long story short she married the man because all her life all she ever wanted was move out and have kids while he married her even though he was inlove with another but chose this other one reason being there was no dowry involved. Allow me to throw in my ,"cheap is very expensive." I don't believe in free samples. I would rather purchase the whole deal it ends up disappointing me leaving me with a little knowledge rather than always looking for the easy way out. The best thing about owing something you did not work hard for is, its always available but the worst thing about the very same thing is that it doesn't last. You will never understand and appreciate the value for it. It takes two to tangle. See ladies when you think you are playing the man in his own game thinking of how you got him all under your spell, he read inbetween your bull ages ago and that is why he has been playing along. Men always know. They just like acting the fool and it works for them.

What happens when a married man finally meets his missing rib while the one he is with has been by his side all along? Unlike us ladies, men don't show it. Even though he is dying to be with the one he truly wants to be with, he can't because he is committed to you unless you do something way too stupid for him to up and leave. When a man decides to stay by a woman's side he does just that even though he might not be emotionally available but initially he does his best by her. That is why he will give her the ultimate gifts. The best of houses, cars, jewelery and wear his title as your man proudly. Anything to make you happy. When a single lady falls inlove with a married man its considered as a taboo. She is a home wrecker. But what if there is nothing to wreck because there was never a marriage to begin with? What if he stayed by your side because he got you pregnant and had to do the right thing?

Lets be real now. There is no such thing as a married man being inlove with a single lady. We all know he is looking for someone who will listen to his short lived drama and go back to his loving wife. The one that everyone else knows and not you the hidden church mouse. Society knows you are after him for his money and influence. You silly little hormonal girl, keep you thighs locked. You think you have anything special that he hasn't already explored in his God given wife. She made that man who he already is so while you swing your self made hips from east to west bear in mind that is how he got her pregnant in the first place. You are bringing nothing new in the game other than a new face with polished already in use moves. What you are looking for grasshopper is a sponsor someone to finance you so thank heavens for banks so get yourself a loan and while at time an education least you roam around like a stray dog. I know all the married women are loving me now and the tagged home wreckers cursing me out. I don't make the rules dears, I just play the game as it is. I am simply stating facts.

Married or single, ladies you have one thing in common, this man.So while you are tearing each other apart instead of taking care of your man, you are busy going through his phone, getting the other ladies numbers , warning them to keep away from your man and you 'home wrecker' walking around claiming sharing is caring nonsense sit your behinds and listen to me. Married ladies, if he is cheating, chances are he didn't start now and you knew it.You just thought by him making it official that you are his wife would make him a better man. Quit taking it out on this other ladies but if you want to lead him straight to cutting you off (financially ) play your cards right. Home wreckers there is more to life than draining the life out of a good hardworking man.Get your own money then have someone else come drain your few coins then lets see if you still find it cute.

As far as love and marriage goes, until I cross that bridge my opinion doesn't matter to those who feel like they know it all already. But to those willing to listen rather learn from someone who is not involved with either party, take notes baby girl and do what you can while you still can.

And that is my one hundredth blog #RealityCheck

The mystery of life

In my opinion I think life is one big mystery that keeps unfolding both old and new parables told back in the days of Jesus. Think about it. So right now am onto ,"The Parable Of The Wise And Foolish Virgins". This is pretty interesting and it got me trying to figure out what am meant to learn from this. 

Virgin in this case is being used to symbolize chosen. Only you can be assigned. You are well sought out so its not by default or coincidence things keep happening just to you and not those around you. Now that you know quit complaining and read on. Just like the wise and foolish virgins you have to wait. There was a process where they had to go through *waiting* inorder for them to go in the wedding with the bridegroom. 

The bridegroom in your case might be that one thing you have been patiently waiting for. If you haven't had to wait then probably that is why it never lasts every time an opportunity presents itself. The question is just how bad do you want it?If virgins considering back in the day they were considered to be a big deal please take no offense to what comes next but do you think after all the shenanigans you have pulled you deserve a reward? Be honest. 

The wedding in this case comes with the bridegroom not the virgins. Highlight that in your mind. So the one thing you are dying to get your hands on comes with a celebration. So if you already got what you were hoping for and you are still waiting for the big aha moment, it's not the right thing. I think you mistook the distraction for the real deal. Ladies and gentlemen this is where I ask both of you to reflect as so will I as soon as am done writing this. 

The wise and foolish in this case represents who you are. Your character and personality the two things you cannot fake out. If it's in you, it will come off naturally but if others find you struggling to fit in with them the. It's not in you. Foolish are those kinds of people who think the world revolves around them. It always have to go their way or no way. If I can't have you then no one else can kind of vibe to them. Wise are those who decern when the foolish are putting on a show. They sit and watch. They always allow others take credit for their hard work. They know things even though they never show it outwardly. 

Back to my story, the two parties wise and foolish had another thing in common, they all slumbered and slept as the good book puts it. See at some point even the wise get tired of always being good the same way the foolish want a break from being bad. But just before they slept, it says,"those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. In English, the wise will always have an extra something * I don't know or rather cannot put my finger around it but there is something about her/him* while the foolish are quick to cross the finish line without proper preparation.

This is the part I like the most when a cry was heard," behold the bridegroom is coming" and what follows next is what most of us have and are suffering from. It says the foolish said to the wise ," give us some of your oil for our lamps are going out".  See, the foolish had the same opportunity as the wise but how the wise went about it is what made the difference . But the wise answered saying ,"no,lest there should not be enough for us and you but go rather to those who sell and buy for yourselves." In other words the right will present itself when the foolish will ask and you being wise you will have the chance to talk. 

Let's be real no matter how crazy you are about someone of something and it's not meant to be present in the future when you get your clean break, you can't string it along. You have to cut it off or out. In life we all want to move on and sure enough we make bold steps towards the future but sadly we always want to tag along with the past baggage. We have even gone a step further to claim ," my past is who I am." To be honest I will never apologize for walking away and out on people who still live in their past. Move on already better yet get out of my way. What happened in the past made you who you are and it prepared you for what is yet to come but you are nothing like the person you were years ago. Better perhaps, worse then that is the choice you made.

The parable to me the name itself screams you as an individual like this had nothing to do with how you were raised or what others say about you but rather you as your own person are you whole enough to be termed as wise or foolish ? By this I mean, is it that opportunities have never presented themselves or have you been talking yourself out of them? How can you wait for the very same thing you claim to need and want in every breath of you and yet approach each day with a bad attitude. If negativity had an ambassador you would probably wear the title proudly for people know you as a sadist. Nothing good or positive will ever come out of you. Ugly doesn't mask it reveals the true identity of a person. Not even dura coat, Sadolin or Crown will conceal the ugly in you baby girl. 

So now tell me, have you been wise or foolish in how you have been handling your life and those around you? 

That is my #RealityCheck 

My Monday 5:25pm thought

Am too old fashioned for life. I still believe that moving in with a man before he officially marries me is a taboo. The thrill of not knowing is what makes me wait and long for the day he will ask for my hand in marriage the right way. I know what you are all thinking or secretly asking,"do I believing in saving myself until marriage?" That is a personal choice . Whatever helps or works for you then do it. Personally I believe that when two people are inlove and want to take things to the next level they should do just that. Even moving in together although it's not my cup of tea. The reason why am hesitant is because at the end of the day, the man already knows he wants to settle but he is not sure if it's with you thus moving in together. There are cases where the ladies have forcefully moved in by leaving that extra set of clothes from having a sleep over to sneaking in during the week to finally marking your territory by introducing yourself as his wife.

Let's be honest. Some of you ladies go way too far. If not let me ask you this, did he ask you to move on or did you leave him no choice but to assume you should move in? The good news is ladies you will never be alone and the bad news is you might end up being the loneliest taken lady on the face of the universe. You are simply going home to your roommate. You both want to leave but can't because the thought of having to start all over again with someone else if there is still anyone out there who will have you is not an option. Settling out of convenience. 

I am too old fashioned to ask him out. That double mint advert got my ribs cracking. Has it come to that already where even society and by society I mean men expect women to approach them? No wonder am still single waiting for this man to come ask me out and he expecting me to take the intitiative. Surely, I will die alone. Oh well, Atleast I will get to blog about the cold nights *laughs* 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

1000 views

From dreaming to write an article on True Love magazine to sharing my shenanigans in my own little world. It has been quite a journey. I have given up, used the f word a couple of times as far as this blog is conecrened and even thought of deleting this account. What can I say am a lady. I am allowed to change my mind. 

I have my favorite pieces in this and some which I wish well, at the end of the day I stand by my own truth. Everything I have written was from my heart. Yes, I wrote all that. Like I said am a lady, I have  had so much going on, plenty going on and still so much to look forward to. Am annoying and stubborn and there is nothing wrong with being different. I can be sweet but too much sugar can cause tooth decay so I don't mind being hot sweet kinda like the sauce *laughing sheepishly*.

Getting one thousand views is nothing short of a miracle. It means word is getting out there. Don't worry I won't start polishing up my English by using terms that don't express me. I like keeping it simple. Long but simple *all the men must be pissed by now*.

I am in a relationship with this blog and like any other, at times I love it too much and find myself sharing in the hope of making a difference in someone's life. I don't want you to read this and think damn this lady must be pathetic or you start feeling sorry for yourself thinking you are all alone and no one understands. Fine I don't understand but I hope by reading what I write makes you look forward to a new day to start afresh something that nearly all of us dread. 

I am humbled considering I have no idea who reads my shenanigans. It must be interesting so I don't plan on stopping. I might get bored or lack inspiration at the moment but the minute that little spark comes back on best believe this girl will be on fire *too much ... I know* 

Thank you checkmates for keeping me in check and for the one thousand view reality. I promise not to allow the immediate go to my head. To stay humble. Humility pays off. If it were not for True Love Magizine rejecting my special piece I wouldn't have found the courage to start this blog. At times it takes rejection to create an opportunity. I did not allow what I had to say through my words be limited so I took the positivity out of a negative situation and ran with it. I has postponed writing way too long and so I hope someone gets inspired from my rejection and create something beautiful. They say where there is a will, there is always a way. I found my way. What's yours? 

And this is my thank you #RealityCheck

Monday motivation

When you don't feel like it, that is when you should make it happen. That is when your guard is down. Ladies when you feel as though today is not a good day, nothing seems to work out for me not even my favorite pair of jeans that is when you should love yourself most. Be your own biggest fan. This when the mind and eyes have differences. You mind knows you look good but when you view your reflection on the mirror you see something totally different. 

I don't know if men struggle with that but for us ladies best believe that is why I will be ready in five minutes becomes a chase. See I already know what looks good on me and the minute I wake up I already have an idea of what I want to look like when I leave the house. But inbetween getting ready and putting on that pair of heels, things change. Gentlemen, I am not talking about just getting another pair to match the outfit but changing the entire outfit all together. 

I don't know about other ladies but personally I have suffer from this a lot. I wake up pretty early and in my mind I already know I have ample time to look presentable. So if am up by 5.30am you would assume by 6:15am latest I would be out of the house? Wrong! By the time am done, it's quarter to 8.00am. Like I said I have a struggle. You would think by then I would be a mere reflection of a Barbie doll but no. No major difference. No magic. Nothing short of a miracle.  Being a lady is hard work this coming from someone who used to rock hoodies , converse and buggy jeans. 

Growing up I made it a priority for people to like me for my character and personality and not by how I dressed or looked to those who mattered anyway. I was going to pursue my care in criminal law so the only thing I would put together was a suit for the courtroom and two inch heels considering I would have already purchased my dream car. I didn't even have time for relationships in my mind. He would have slowed me down.that was me years ago although deep down I would have an affair with my fellow lawyers though I would use then dump them for those lonely nights. 

Judging me so far? Good! That's how I like my crowd with opinions but most of all to get a kick out of what would have been my life. Baby girl had dreams. Back to reality. Nothing much has changed especially when it comes to believing in myself. No one not even the greatest love of mylife will love me past my own self. So I have to do the very best by always being the one to beat myself down and picking myself up. I always think am a one woman empire until the day someone makes their way in my enchanting castle, bring down the walls and allow some light in. 

The difference between the living and the dead is for us living we get a second chance to make things right. So don't just say you don't feel like it just because it proves difficult. There is a reason you thought of it in the first place and if you don't work on it, I bet it will kill you watching someone else do it and benefit greatly from it. So do it. The worst that can happen is it succeeding. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

Father's Day

Yeah, yeah, yeah any man can be a dad but it takes a man blah blah blah to be a father. Enough already. To me every man is fertile but it takes that special moment to bring a child into this life other than rape. It takes two to tangle. You both know what you are getting yourselves into. I have heard cases of ladies who had no idea that they were pregnant . Some truth others well let's just say lying is how they have earned their living. 

My father is the best thing that my mother could raise me with. He is a godly man. A man after God's heart so even though he is not the best lover she had in mind, he has done the best by her side. He loves her the same way he loves Christ. He adores my mother. Even now that am old enough to leave and start a family of my own, you can catch him stealing glances of her when she walks past him and he even goes as far as tickling her. It's true that true love never dies. The minute kids come in the picture, loves changes and somehow shifts from the man to their kids. The kids become the first priority, ask any mother most of them anyway.

My father is my hero. Nothing is impossible with this amazing man. He has never raise his hand towards my mother unless when scratching her back* typical teenagers*. My folks act as though we don't exist. As if they just met for the first time. Even though my mother plays hard to get at times *now I know where I get it from* deep down we know she adores him as well and it's evident by how she treats him as her king. I envy what they have in that the now modern man only wants to test drive the different women in his life the ones he couldn't get when he was flat broke and the ones he knows are totally forbidden. Finding such a love is rare. I just hope to get a quarter of that. True love takes time and effort and it's undeniable . When you know, you simply know. 

My father has taught me things both directly and indirectly. No he has never given me the boy talk. He already assumes my mother has that department well handled. I would hate to disappoint them. You know how they say every girl looks for her father in every man, in a way I hope I do in the sense of my very own loves Christ as much as he loves me. 

I am not looking, that is not my work. I just need to work on my fifty percent and hope wherever he is, he is doing the same then it will work. I am not going to compare him to any other man even though I will be tempted to. Hey, am only human here. Instead I hope he sees what my father and those around me see, the greatness hidden behind this shy smile. I hope he helps me work on it. My father unlike any other man out there believes that there is nothing his little wonder can't achieve. So I try I very best each day to make him proud of me by staying true to who I am. 

In conclusion, a father to me is one who has a relationship with God, lives in love with his family and those around him and is at peace with himself. Now that kind of a man deserves the title father. It doesn't matter if you have kids or not all that matters is the impact you leave with the people in your life. Are you straying true to who you are or are you trying to please society? A father always stands out this outstanding .... I had to write it *giggles*

And that to me is my Father's Day #RealityCheck