Who asked you?

Gentlemen, let’s have a very open and honest talk. There is a gentleman who has made my day with his bravery. When you say hi to me and immediately ask for my number, that is bold. I like that. I have even told him outright.

Gentlemen, when you tell a lady you like what you see I honestly don’t know what response you expect. Personally, especially if am not attracted to you, am sure the conversation that follows next, I will take it south. I will never lead anyone on if am not interested. I  believe in being respectful so if you offer me a compliment which I can’t offer back, I will humbly stay quiet in the hope of you will read inbetween the line. But if I happen to laugh and accompany it with am honest opinion like you are shameless, take a hike.

I know some people are using the pandemic as an excuse to misbehave. Times are hard but not that hard to endorse desperation. It’s a new decade and not the end of the world. Make smart decisions. If you want to show off, please make sure the person you are out to impress buys whatever bullshit you are selling. The materialistic talk is one I avoid. When he told me he was just from parking his car, my mind went in on him. Who asked you? Parking at a free zone?

See giving you my number is not a big deal but starting a conversation is. I could already tell he is the kind to talk a good game but in actual sense you don’t even know how the game is played in the first place. Things got worse from there. When mr. Wannabe called, minutes later he ran out of airtime. What a joke!!! It’s when he called back and insisted that I would be calling him soon which led me to blog. If I ever call you man or woman, you must have my undivided attention otherwise

I can be very immature but am more impressed by maturity. Be yourself and hopefully someone will appreciate you. Meantime, we are not teenagers so let’s cut to the chase. I like, good, if not I keep it moving. It’s still a beautiful desiring day ahead #MyMagazineThoughts

Am torn and confused

How amazing is our God though. Even when you are having a crappy day, His love still shines on. I thank God that He is not man. He is so selfless that it humbled me this beautiful morning. I serve a godly God who is such a loving father and perfect gentleman. God is not man to be petty or be dismissive. Do you know what it takes to control the entire universe? God. We are all His. He loves us equally. Whether you have more or less, we are all equal in His eyes. God doesn’t have leave days. He is constantly working

Even with this pandemic He has ensured there is day and night. His blessings have been unconditional. He hasn’t abandoned us even when we have fallen short His mercies have embraced our doubts. We serve a fearless God. He owns the world. He makes time for you and me. So when I am having a gloomy day, I always remind myself of his faithfulness. His love . His patience with me. His promises to me. He doesn’t owe me anything but yet He is always my strength and shield. That’s when I acknowledge His presence more. In silence, He is the loudest

When things don’t look up, learn to look up. Literally. That’s where your help comes from. When you feel defeated, that’s when He shows up and shows off. He has sufficient grace and enough angels to watch over us. Weeping may endure for the night but Joy comes in the morning.

Each morning wake up grateful and thankful even when all you want to do is throw in the towel. Talk to God. Be honest with your feelings. Like you know what God today I don’t feel I have it in me to fight. Am exhausted. I gave it my all yet still am disappointed. I need you more today than I did yesterday. I don’t have fancy scriptures to appease you. Ama kneel here and allow my heart speak on my behalf. I am better & stronger than this but today is a little harder. Speak on my behalf. Where do I go from here. Am torn and confused.

When you find enough strength to leave the house, when you look around you and have anything just something to be thankful for, when you can find the courage to whisper a thank you in the midst of your troubled thoughts, that’s when you realize why you are who you are.

It starts making sense. The reason you have held on to your truth. The reason why God and you have this father son or father daughter relationship going. Why He has brought you this far. Why He gives you just enough to keep you going. Why He is God over your life. You start seeing things His way and not your willful ways. Then He can entrust you with more. He is equipping you for what lies ahead. You can’t pack and leave when faced with difficulty. He is molding you for the very same thing you have been praying for. He loves you that much more to not fuck it up. If you serve a might God why do you expect cute results? You must represent Him well and cute is not what He has in mind. You are beautiful or handsome but He needs warriors not worriers.

Remember that always #MyMagazineThoughts

That's the rule of life

When it comes to dudes I know all they are after are three things. Money, power and women. But when it comes to a gentleman’s club all I see are two things ; fear and women. They already have the money and power that comes with it.

I live by this rule: I ain’t shit but am shit.

That’s why it’s important to me to know a man’s story. I don’t want to walk around fooling myself am shit but in actual sense, am not. At the same time, don’t get it twisted in assuming you are shit because of your experiences when to me you ain’t shit.

That’s the rule of life.

That’s why there will always be someone prettier, smarter and let’s not forget less than smart. It’s important for me to know the kind of woman a man goes for because it will tell me why.

Ladies are quick to dismiss others in this silly manner. You are not a threat. Oh please her, girl bye. See I may not look like you which I thank God am not but in taking my time to try and figure this man out, I know what he really likes.

Physicality has never been my specialty. I genuinely don’t care about looks. That’s why when majority are chasing brands, am out here trying to figure out what makes this particular man tick.

I hate surprises but I love being proved wrong. Atleast that way, if I don’t understand a situation perhaps I can predict the outcome. I hate walking into anything blindly.

Gentlemen fear being caught off guard. See in dating the same type of woman, it’s easier to mange and protect themselves. It makes it easier for them to still retain the power and the money. That way, they don’t have to chase, they just have to introduce themselves and from there, things will align themselves. Am I wrong?

That’s all true I assume from my observation but the fear comes in when unfamiliar presents itself. As a man he is born to conquer. But this is different territory. She doesn’t look or act the same as what he is used to. She becomes a challenge which he gladly takes on as if it doesn’t work out, hey, there is always enough room to sneak off and get with familiar.

I always advise men this when it comes to ladies. It’s never what it seems. Some are good from far but far from good. Just because you are not willing to make and take time to understand it, don’t dismiss it.Good things or opportunities aren’t everywhere in the open. Don’t use old tricks to conquer new territory.

People are out here for themselves. Loyalty is expensive. You hardly ever hear people putting in a good word for you. Greed may have outweighed kindness but not taken it out. Am modern yet very old fashioned. I don’t act or try to put on an act to come off a certain way.

I don’t see what everyone else sees by putting it out there on social media. I see deeper and further. Am not attracted to what’s already out there, am into the dissatisfaction in your eyes. The uncertainty and curiosity but more so, am attracted to the fear you are projecting. That tells me, there is room for someone like me.

Those right there are #MyMagazineThoughts

Rare Things in life

Happy new month Bachelors and bachelorettes. I wish you the rare things in life like hugs and kisses. Not all at the same time but then again I mean why not. To a love filled month. Don’t just give it, expect it then embrace it. From my madness to yours mwah 😚

This is it. This is the month to go for it. It’s time to chase it down like it’s all you have been living for. Don’t just settle for a hi or a phone number schedule a date. Push yourself to better. There is nothing wrong with okay but this month strive for more. Get it done ✅

I am all about #MyMagazineThoughts

Needy Men

I have gotten the go ahead from my bestfriend to blog on needy men. Where are my manners? Hi there. I go by Jess but you can call me Njeri. Clearly we are not familiar with each other “yet” so let’s keep it professional. Ignore the avi & pay attention to my words/ opinion below. I know what you are thinking 🤔 why would such a beauty waste her time on such things? If you think am here to waste your time, congratulations am sure I have exceeded your expectations. If you believe am here to make a difference, keep that smile broad and prolonged. Read on 👇

Needy men. Let’s get something out of the way here, a needy man is one with needs and not a man showing weakness in his character. Now that I have defined that, let me start off by letting you know what my bestfriend said about me regarding needy men. She is so hilarious . Am an Aquarius lady. I grew up a wanjakihii (tomboy) climbing trees and wrestling my brothers. I built cars, played  football & started doing my own laundry when I was 9-10 years to date. I am more focused on hard work as opposed to physical beauty. My bestfriend had this to say, “Jess, you can date a needy man because let’s face it, you are a man.” Like I said she is hilarious. God created me tough because He knew my purpose in life requires a tough human being to get the job done. I have sufficient grace to handle it .

Am a destiny helper. That is one of the many gifts I have been humbly blessed with. The people I have had encounters with had one thing in common, fragile souls. They are so giving of themselves, they hardly ever make it about themselves. That’s where God positions me.

Needy gentlemen and ladies have fragile souls. They are so delicate to a fault that if in the wrong hands, they will never blossom to their fullest. There is who you are, who people know you to be and the hidden potential in all of us. Why do you think love is the greatest gift? Why do you think there are soulmates? It’s that soul to soul connection that which can only exist when two hearts beat as one. The same way a mother knows her child is not okay is the same way a man/ lady is supposed to figure it out that something is up with their spouse. Needy men are very special and not everyone gets them. They come off as work which excites me because I love working on mysteries. They come off as kind and generous to a point where most describe them as too nice. Thus nice guys finish last.

If you know you are needy in certain areas of your life, get with someone who is strong. Think of the times you are the most vulnerable. Then picture someone more needy expecting you to see them through such circumstances. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. Two broken hearts will always find reasons to try and fix what’s broken. Two capable hearts will always find a way to stay happy. Your job is to love and receive that love in return. The problem with trying to fix a person is entitlement. I fixed you so choose me. It’s pathetic. Sympathy won’t keep a man. It will certainly capture his attention the same way nudity does but let’s face it, life is not a play boy mansion. At some point, you will out grow it. Needy gentlemen and ladies, loved the right way can be hidden streams. Don’t allow the ground work fool you. Some are born needy while others become needy due to unavoidable circumstances. Being needy doesn’t make you less of a man or lady.

I guess that’s why am single. I don’t know how to ask as I was born and taught how to become self sufficient. Real life is not one big happy family where we all share hugs and kisses. It’s survival for the fittest. Am just working on my 50%. See I might not match you financially but perhaps all I have to give comes in emotionally. We all have something to offer you just have to know what you are bringing to the table. Remember, it takes two to tango #MyMagazineThoughts

I missed the mark

Certain chances and opportunities in life are like shooting stars. I spent so much time back then looking up for such stars that I missed out on how beautiful the sky is at night. I would try and figure out the mystery behind each zodiac I could think off that sometimes I would walk away disappointed.

I wished upon a shooting star twice.

I never got what I wanted. Now with each chance I get to look up, I just think of how beautiful Gods work really it. It’s like walking in an art gallery hoping to meet the owner yet walking away disappointed.

I missed the mark.

I have learnt from that.

Today, I focus on the artwork if not the masterpiece infront of me. Perhaps it took a minute or longer but the story behind that painting or poem is what I seek the most. There is a deeper hidden meaning. Not for me to try and figure it out but for me to observe and embrace my own flaws which make me beautiful altogether.

You learn to live inspired and use that to have the courage to chase your own dreams. It’s not for you to love the author or poet, it’s for you to fall inlove with your own special kind of madness or magic which makes you, YOU ✨

Am not smart, Am wise

I stopped hanging out and availing myself to people who don’t see me the way God sees me. I am very protective of myself and who I am. Not many get the privilege of me calling you my friend. There are certain roles I take very seriously in life. Being someone’s friend is COSTLY.

Having meaningless conversations is something I avoid. Am a dreamer and sometimes a doer. I spend more time alone dreaming, imagining and envisioning. Am happiest alone just me and Google defying facts and feeding my mind with indescribable possibilities. Am creating my own facts. Calling you a friend is a priceless gift. If I ever say I don’t trust you it’s one of two things. I don’t know your story (why you act the way you do) or you have shown me why I shouldn’t trust you either directly or indirectly.

The one thing I pride myself in is respect. I will both respectfully walk in your life and gladly walk out. Am not an A student but I know how to read inbetween the lines. Am not smart, am wise. See if you have a story to tell, you have a hidden dream inbetween then & now. Wouldn’t be nice to just wake up one day & God brings you, a you. Imagine that. A you in another person. Someone who sees you the way you see yourself even when sometimes according to society there is nothing to see. Them seeing every possibility of you becoming bigger than your dreams. Them reminding you every now and then when doubt creeps in. Them praying with you. Them being angry at you when you stop believing. Have you ever had such a friend? Have you ever met such a person?

Everyone deserves this. Not everyone is that lucky. I got this line from a movie. Be careful how you treat people because you could be entertaining an angel. You are placed on this Earth to love and be loved. If you aren’t getting or giving one of the two, something is wrong.

For me to call you my friend it means I see that fight in you as well. You want it bad enough to wait for it and not be greedy. You have discipline and determination. You are focused yet a little crazy. It’s in you as it’s who you have always been even when you weren’t sure.

As I said it’s COSTLY. You must pay the price. It’s not something you buy into or out. All legends & the people I admire and look up to, have paid the price. They just didn’t have bad breaks but only had God left. It’s that much sweeter when it’s that bitter #MyMagazineThoughts