Having waited for so long to say those words and not in a sentence but to someone face to face will be reliving a dream. I am so used to telling God so it would feel weird telling rather having to share that intimate word with an actual human being. I love you ....wait ....I am inlove with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have all admired someone at one point in our "miserable lives" I mean honestly looking back at it .... Have you ever tried to explain how good looking someone was back in the day compared to now? You just want to pull them aside when its really dark , shake them up and be like what happened? Like there is no saving your looks child *damn* and to think you did all that for them to end up becoming the brand ambassador of "Eww Fuck No".
The last person I said that to turned out to be a totally different person. See at that particular moment when I said it, it felt real and I meant it. This is not coming from a bitter place but from a better one. When he left, sorry when I left .....the ugly truth that would tear any human down is having to admit that you were cheated on and was left with no choice but leave ....so, when I left rather when I realized that he and I had different dreams and views on life I promised myself to never use the L word ever again. He is an incredible man to someone else perhaps that is why he fell short of my expectations because even at his best he openly admitted that he never felt like he quite deserved me. So if he is out there and happens to read this, thank you, you were right and damn right you are welcome. I was taught to leave people better if not bigger than I met them. So if you failed that's entirely on you.
Imagine myself inlove? You are asking me to betray my heart and be vulnerable. Fine. First of all, I am a free spirit. As long as it is not illegal rather incriminating because I don't believe in following any rules other than common sense I am all in.I am old fashioned at heart. I do believe in love at first sight. When you know you know. No matter how amazing you are to those around you only the one for you can see past the show you are always putting on without having to say a word. I believe that true love can conquer it all even death. Stuck in a world where society is consumed with titles and material achievements my heart is slowly giving up. Witnessing loveless marriages where the two can't even be friends or respect each other in public.
The one for me is out there. Trying to convince himself that he is happy and that this will work out. I can almost picture that "delusional man" changing everything about himself that makes him exceptional for her to fall helplessly for his lost mind *hahahaha that poor girl*. If that doesn't work he will be forced to take it out on afew other good ladies *I apologize on his behalf* until he hits rock bottom and decides to wait upon God who will lead him to me. Tell me though baibee was all that rejection really necessary? You are one hilarious man wherever you are.That is one of the questions I am eagerly waiting to ask him while we laugh ...... God needed you sober/mature enough to appreciate his masterpiece. Anyone who chooses to spend the rest of his life with me is a mad man. The one for me is a gentleman who is very hardworking and takes himself way too seriously (take a chill pill will you). He likes his women the way he likes his drinks strong with a little slap and pinch . Did I mention he is naughty .....(laughing sheepishly). I mean lets not allow all that experience you got out there go to waste .... *wink*... That beautiful beast will be insecure and both his eyes and his body language will be a pleasure to witness. He is calm, thoughtful , gentle , compassionate yet with a temper (I will love making him mad). He is out there getting his ego stroked with afew lies from people he secretly cant stand and when its late he quietly has conversations in his head cursing them out. He is bipolar but aren't we all indirectly.
The one am inlove with has to be the missing screw in my head.No we will not finish each others sentences. He will feed off my sarcasm and my opinion will be his aphrodisiac. Its not what I say but rather how .....am cursed with such a beautiful gift .....My presence will be enough to cause him to change from ordinary to extraordinary. To everyone else he is superman because they are always in need of saving but am the only one who knows his true identity. Clark Kent is sexy.That man can gerrit ... all of it .... Everything I need to know about him he already is giving it away with a simple stare .....
I hope you read this as you are preparing to go make yet another beautiful mistake responsibly or later on when she proves to be good from far but far from good. May it ignite a fire in your soul only my heart can put out. I am everything you have been praying for and much more. When you meet me your heart will let you know that there is something familiar about me yet so refreshingly different.
Until then my scrumptious beast of a man, am off to get afew stories of my own after all life has to go on with or without you in the picture and that is my #RealityCheck
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