Going Back

Being successful has its own meanings to different individuals.Out of the many I have two ringing loudly in this silent room.One is not getting your enemy to trust you but like what you have to say. Convincing. That right there is a powerful word. If you can get people to buy into whatever you are putting out there, then you pose as not only a threat but a powerful individual. You are worse than a ticking bomb.When you read or rather see going back you might sit there and think, has this lady gone out of her freaking mind? Perhaps, well, we all can't be normal you know. On the real though, this is the best form of a reality check. It helps you stay sober if not sane. If all you ever do is win and never fall at some point, then you are cheating or delusional.You are living in a cloud called denial. I assure you not even the Queen of England has it all smooth so how about you a mere nobody no offense but then again we are being realistic, what makes you think you will have things handed to you? Let me go a little deeper and add not even Jesus himself the son of God was loved , accepted or lived the good life while on Earth. I am temped to go deep into the word but is for another day.

As I write this the major success screaming out is going back and being able to face that old situation. Courage. Being courageous enough to understand that just because you have matured doesn't necessarily mean the past has evolved. You have to be bold enough to accept that even though the past may not change, you can change and be part of the change. What am suggesting is not rocket science leave alone impossible but most people avoid the past because they are scared of the outcome. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. This is what I have been living by this year. Like I always say, it is only too late when death is involved. Not that you have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. Life is not robbing you of the life you think you can have neither God nor the devil. I am so sorry to break it to you but you have been holding yourself back. Everytime you post pone that to do list or whatever it is you keep regarding as ,"not now, someday, soon,later,it was not meant to be" I wish at times you would take the time to listen to yourself talk and not just talk but talk yourself out of you.

No one wants to hang around a partypooper, sadist and moment killer. Yes, you have slowly become those three things so as much as the right people try to be in your life you end up attracting the opposite. Ladies, if that man never gave you closure and that is why you keep regarding all men as dogs and players, a good man will never find his way to you because even 'badboys and drunks' want a good lady to go home to. Does that make sense like the reason why they only want you as the trophy and never the wife material. It is alleged that men will treat ladies according to how they carry themselves. If you have standards, he will maintain the standards but if you have no expectations then somehow along the line start demanding or act as if you expect from him, he will run. Gentlemen, we ladies know that there is always that one lady who screwed it up for the rest of us when you decided to lower your guard, swallow your pride and let her in, she pulled a fast one on you. We get it, but why must I personally pay for a crime I did not commit just because I remind you of her? How do I remind you of her in the first place?

Instead of playing this blame game time and again, we boys and girls need to take the time to just reflect on what we want.Instead of focusing on how to get or achieve it, you should work on what you will be bringing in. Take a moment and just talk. Lay it all out in the open assuming the people who read this are mature enough to listen, allow correction and communicate. Not yell,shout or curse but talk like a human being not only thinking about yourself because it is not always about you but learn to put yourself in that other persons shoes. It is so easy to judge when you merely have the facts. It is easy to dismiss when all you could have done is given that person a benefit of a doubt. How would you feel if you walked in a room and the very same thing you always do to others was done to you? 2015 come off your high and mighty I don't need anyone horse and try walking. Enjoy the view from down here.

The greatest joy is being at peace with yourself. Something no one else but yourself can offer. Realize this, seasons change but sadly some people will never change.Be open minded and you will be surprised at how you and being scared has been holding you back.

so, how about it, are you willing to go back?

Inspired by Brown Sugar

See my version of brown sugar has nothing to do with hip-hop although there is music involved but not that kind. One of my not so secret blog readers was on my case for not blogging. Well, to be honest I have two reasons. The real one being I just had to deal with my demons. I wanted nothing to do with this kind of thing because I felt as though I was a two face byach. I mean one thing but always act out the opposite. The other excuse would be I was looking for inspiration. Which is a total lie. I was watching days fly by without a care in the world hoping that in due time I would eventually forget this blog. 

After watching Just Wright the movie yes this is the sixth time I have re-watched it. Definitely not the last. Someone one's told me well 'they' stopped being apart of my life that am Lesly Wright the character that Queen Latifah plays. Like no offense she is beautiful in her own unique way but I aint nothing like her. I took offense until I re-watched it over again and 'someone' explained that am always the good girl and that good girls always finish last. That 'someone' alleged that the Morgan character is what most men go for. I can't be mad at that because somehow it is true. I have done my research and men are physical beings. But I also came to understand that when a man likes you the way you look ladies is the least of his worries. He overlooks the 'trophy' and goes for what he wants. 

There is nothing young about me except for my heart. I always refer to myself as an old soul. Back when music was music and people hooked up for all the right reasons.The worst mistake any human being is settle down with someone else just because they are available or fit in your world (everyone else expects you to settle with them or like them already but deep down you know the truth). Most of the relationships I have witnessed are out of comfort, safe and tolerance. Just because he/she was there when you had nothing growing up doesn't necessarily mean they are the right ones for you. That right there is love and a little bit of gratitude but not real love you know the kind that when he walks into a room you have butterflies, when he is mad at you nothing else matters than putting a smile on his face, if a day passes without having talked to him about the little silly things you feel like no one else understands you ,when you see or hear something he is all you think about or wish he was around to share the moment with him.

I see it but I don't think everyone else see's it. But when you are running your own race in life don't expect people to applaud leave alone support it.The minute you understand that it is not your job to try and convince them but rather show them is when you will truly be happy if not be at peace with yourself. This year know the things to prioritize and which ones to brush off.If no one comes to you for your opinion then why do you keep worrying about what others might say or think? Don't you think you are being a little too hard on yourself? If you are going to take risks this year ensure that the consequences are worth it.  What I mean is if you can look back at the experience and smile knowing you learnt, made a difference and you would do it all over again then go ahead. Don't make excuses that people are holding you back when in real sense you are the one always talking yourself out of taking a chance on life, love and whatever else is out there.

The secret in knowing if you are in the right place or relationship is simple. If you find yourself begging or forcing things to play out in real life as you imagined in your mind then you need to wake up before you miss the sanity bus.He/she will never see you more than they already see you. If 'they' are themselves with you and you can talk about anything and everything then I don't know why are you reading this when you should be making your way to 'them'

This year forget what everyone expects and forget the fact that you are afraid of the unknown. What makes you happy?If you can answer that with a straight face from deep within, then screw it keep doing whatever you do because it is working but if you feel like somehow inbetween the kisses and deep breaths you can help but feel the cold breeze do the honorable thing and go be happy.








A toast ladies and gentleman to my and your version of Brown Sugar.