Bits of me

The one thing that people don't know about me is that I love cooking. This is not a common Kenyan girl thing or a tribe to be specific a Kikuyu traditional thing that a woman's place is in the kitchen. Believe it or not, I love being in the kitchen alone. Cooking is an art just like making love. Listen, for those of you who are rolling their eyes and thinking what is this lady talking about? Stop that. Quit fooling around and searching for the quick "fixes" and please allow me help save that little dignity left in you. That's the good news . The bad news is after reading this you might have to give up your old habits *sorry*.

I read something interesting about myself rather my star Aquarius. Am not a professional but cooking is like being in a committed relationship. None of them has ego problems and they both are ready to submit to each other both emotionally and physically with such a romance that is even envied by the angels of heaven...... Ask Oracle

You don't want to prepare a meal just because you can but because you want to. Like romance there has to be foreplay..... you have already pictured the end result which gives you total satisfaction but the process leaves you tired, sweaty yet excited for more perfection because at that particular moment you own it all ..... you are in your element...... a student turned master .... a goddess . You don't need to measure any amount of water if any or taste to know if the spices or salt is just right ....you already know

When I cook it gives me so much joy knowing that I am serving from the heart because in my mind I have envisioned that I am cooking for the love of my life. Please note this is all in my mind and that the only thing that is real is my cooking *try and keep up* where were we, oh yes,  he has just invited me over and after playing hard to get for several months I finally give in. I come looking like dessert but first thing first I change into something more comfortable..... his official shirt *to make him believe am in charge* and socks on.... Good food, good God let's eat ....

Have yourselves a #RealityCheck Checkmates.

When your mind is set to "explore"

It's hard saying no to your body when your mind is set to "explore". If only life was this simple. Where I would walk up to my "to do list" line of men and handle that shamelessly. The friends with benefits sounds amazing only that the lady always ends up hurt directly or indirectly.  Act like a lady, think like a man was a good movie but then again this is real life. How do you play a gentleman in a man's world isn't that setting yourself up for not just failure bur epic failure?

Being a lady is hard. Having to walk away from something you want at that particular moment shows how self disciplined one is. Ask any woman. Sometimes you want to be normal but deep down its a struggle coz the only normal thing about you is your humility. A woman with high standards is her own biggest challenge.

Horacio Jones says," I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude. You're not competing with another person,  you are competing with my comfort zones." I may come off boring judging by the way I choose to present myself to you but if you can assure my comfort zone that my dignity will still be intact by the time you get to know the real me perhaps am everything you have been praying for.

See not all that glitters is gold. Only few land the real deal simply because pressure creates diamonds.  Fire refines gold. Let me just serve you that simple #RealityCheck checkmates.

And on a Monday

Oh it feels good to be wanted...... and on a Monday!  Most people hate having to do anything constructive after the weekend whether it was epic or just a stay at home lazy and cheat on your diet kind of thing. Not me though. I love Mondays. That's when everyone else is in a bad mood and am just there taking in the real them *am the worst I know*.

I will quote my bestfriend seeing as tomorrow is her birthday...... ,"Don't ever be afraid of asking for what you really want". Only my bestfriend knows the real me. I am the selfless kind who robs herself to build others up. Am not too proud to ask for help but I just don't know how to ask.

Sometimes I don't want to blog. I just want to copy paste the character of an aquarius woman and call it a day. Most of the time am like what's the fucking need though *middle finger in the air* ✌.

You know how on social media you post something stupid hoping no one reads it and they end up surprising you. Today was that day. Part of me is cheering it on like stalk on sir while the inner shy me is slowly building up walls. Like what the actual fuck ..... you are scaring me. I overthink and over question everything. I talk myself into a situation and at the same time talk myself out of it. Anything to get you to give up.

Today I understood why after having waited for so long for the right man, anyone would settle for Mr making an effort. Unlike Mr right, this gentleman serves you a #RealityCheck..... He is there cracking jokes that Mr right should be in your head and making you feel all sorts of electrifying giddiness *goddamn it stop that* . You know how they say it's lonely at the top? It's lonely everywhere especially if your heart is still searching and knows what it wants is still very much so out there.

It feels good to be wanted and there is nothing wrong with a little attention rather encouragement along the way but focus on the prize ahead. That's my Man...day..... Get it!?

I had to figure it out

You know how they say it's not you it's me, I had to serve myself a #RealityCheck.  Damn I have matured.  You have to take time off especially social media to know what you are communicating. If it's not inspirational it's of no use to me. Just because it's not on instagram , Facebook or Twitter just to mention afew doesn't mean my life is boring. I am learning to keep up but at the same time taking a step back to live and actually enjoy the moment. Perhaps the younger me needed validation but the older me is so into my small circle and the people around me willing to make a difference.

I am not in a hurry. It can wait. It's not about doing the right thing but listening to that voiceless shy inner me that I keep putting on hold. Just because I don't agree with 99% of society doesn't mean I am a bad person. I am that 1% who is brave enough to question facts and draw my own conclusions. While everyone else is asking why am out here loving every moment of why not.

Everyone is after the good life but only those with discipline and passion are willing to put in the extra effort. There are two types of people  1. Those who take pride in the prize 2. Those who take pride in the process of achieving the prize. If I have not earned it, I will not appreciate it.  If I wait for it for too long by the time I get it, it's value will not go to my head because I have had time to prepare for it to a point where I felt it will not happen. That's what I want. That element of surprise in such a way it will not draw unnecessary attention is priceless. When everyone else has dismissed your dreams and you in the process then it happens is a masterpiece to me because then the chosen few will be there to celebrate with me.

I serve a God who not only has a sense of humour but very strategic. Am all about that life now. The do it now yet slow down let me appreciate it all days and nights.