I have been there. That’s how it starts

I see you are troubled and your soul is lost. Even doing the things that looked and felt familiar don’t quite do it. In a room full of people, you are lonely. With a phone full of numbers, you have no one to call. It kills you to know that you see everyone else around you but no one sees you the way you crave to be seen and heard. They listen but they don’t understand. So you start questioning. Is it that you haven’t done or given enough to earn their trust and loyalty or have you changed? There is good and bad news. 

What do you want first?

Good or bad?

The good news is that you have finally realized yourself and your worth. That’s why the familiar isn’t familiar anymore. It no longer serves it’s purpose which brings me to the bad news which are connected. You have outgrown everyone around you. You crave different people and new familiar. That’s why you are questioning yourself and not the people around you? You are the “problem” not them. Those drinking sprees don’t hit you the way they did before. They leave you feeling worse than before. If anything you start questioning your finances. 

Am I lying?

I am blogging because I have been there. That’s how it starts. You still want to maintain the friendships but the more you hang out the less than smart they appear to you. Why would you even say that? When did I become this person? Your purpose separates you from “wrong” crowds.

The more you fight and ignore it the louder the loneliness and confusion kicks in. You are always previously on lost. Those conversations feel old and jokes are outdated. Everything feels dry and you can almost feel the taste of it in your mouth. Your season with them is over.

Happy new month. 

Welcome to October. 

The people around you equally notices you are changing. Then suddenly, you all stop. The conversations die down, the hanging out and your start enjoying your own company and being drawn to certain individuals. But that’s not you, you tell yourself. So you resist the change. Going back is an option so you give it one last try as you fell out and not on a bad note. The awkwardness is mutual. Finally, you accept and it should feel bad. They were your friends. Yet it doesn’t. You feel free. You will find yourself.

As soon as you stop fighting yourself and what you already know deep down. As soon as you step out in faith and embrace your “new” tribe. Do you need to do the extra to get their attention? Finally, no! You just have to be yourself. Relax and #LetsFallInLove Let’s 💜 baibèé