The little girl in me .....

I stop and think I am so ungrateful. God has brought me such a long way. Knowing how selfless he was to use someone,an angel in disguise help me at my worst. I can never go back to being that person I was before. I have so much to live for compared to where I was before. I may not be doing much but the much am doing should be enough. It has to be. So I sit and weigh my options. So I can try being bad. Give these ratchet ladies a run for their money. Wreck afew homes here and there get to share my lavish lifestyle and hopefully they might leave their wives for me or since God loves sinners I should be married by a decent man as soon as December...... 

Then I get to sit and think of the consequences. What consequences I lived the good life so whatever right? Wrong. I am fed up of being invisible. The good girl who is always going out of her way for men who only respond when it’s convenient. The good girl in me is slowly dying . Sick and tired of having to sit out on life when she feels like her big break is right around the corner. Does anyone hear her cries or are they too busy to realize am tired tonight? She doesn’t want to be brave and cat woman anymore. She wants to be Lois Lane . Where is Superman when you need him? Boaz ,where are you? Where is my And Behold Boaz just then came moment !? The Bible told me. It’s written. He was a mighty man of wealth so why should I settle for a good average man. He blessed her. My version of him is slowly bruising me. Tearing me to pieces with his silence and absence while I sleep every night hoping tomorrow will look up. Until that special day. I would tell the world but no one would believe me.

So I went back on my knees and I broke down to God and asked him to bless me with another man. His angel. I was willing to wait just as long as he came as The One and spoke my lauguage. 2016 was not my year. 2017 is not my year and sure enough I don’t need a year. I just need a day. One day. More than a day, a miracle . Answered prayers. Sometimes you need a word but other times reality. That's what I was granted. That is something that no one can ever take away from me. You don’t stop being you just because the gift is not what you asked for but as long as the giver is alive you simply can’t afford to lose that hope. I serve a higher purpose other than being someone’s significant other or an accomplished business woman. The most important role you will ever play in life is being the best version of yourself to God, family, friends and the rest of the world.

You don’t stop writing. You dont stop living.  You dont stop loving. If anything, you use that rejection and pain to blog and inspire others. This is where I go all crazy and believe that the one for me reads this and understands the lady behind the words. Now I just need you to show your face one day for laugh out moments. By she I mean the little girl in me coz that's my #RealityCheck.