Afraid yet bold enough to pen this

It’s as if he can read my mind. Am taken aback. I always go fearlessly for what I go for and speak my mind freely without regrets or facts of it being right or wrong. If it crosses my mind you better believe it is true.

He scares me. If you know me well enough you know that I am only afraid of God and what He has planned unpredictably for me. As I write this my heart is pounding like I am on an African safari. It’s like I have come face to face with a predator not to insinuate that my life is in danger though.

I can’t explain how terrified I am but it is nothing to be bothered with but not being control of my emotions is making my heart skip a beat.

I am so used to being incharge that I feel all over with my mind. I want to run away but I can’t. Not that am not usually vulnerable but it is like he wants me to bare my soul out. He expects it. He secretly craves and demands it. His soul is so sure of itself and mine that his eyes all I can read and see from them is this: I will choose you. Try me and see if I won’t choose you!

I wear disappointments beautifully. It is the scarf that keep my I told you so away with the confidence of you shouldn’t even bother. I am so used to walking away. So why am I stopping now. You can’t humiliate me more that I have been doing most of my life. This is the one thing I am really good at. No one should ever say or write that but this is in some truth someone ones #RealityCheck

What I really want is for him to turn around and walk away. Let me dream and fantasize you being here rather than actually sticking around. I have so much to offer not only you but your world and mine. The rest of the world is simple but the two of us separately yet together are so complicated.

Again, why is he here? Why are you here? Look what you made me do. Be so lost yet I had it all figured out. You have rendered me speechless and my mind blank. I am naked yet clothed. Speechless yet witty. Afraid yet bold enough to pen this down.

You are a beautiful man with a beautiful mind. God, I wish that was true. I don’t know you. The yesterday me would have loved to unwrap every package that comes with you but today I am like a dried up leaf just blowing away.

Why do you want to make sense when mystery shouldn’t be defined. I am not a cave to explore because if I were I would have drowned you. You knew I would write this before I even did. You don’t see me the way I wish to be seen. You are whispering to my mind with your curiosity, gently caressing my fingers with your anticipation and quenching my inspiration with your silence.

You don’t see me. You feel me. I can feel you right back. That’s is what I am afraid of. Our souls know each other even without words. This is madness..... science fiction.