Greatness in advance

There are days I am tired of trying to figure life out . Today is one of those days. I just want life to figure me out. I am inbetween now and what next. I am doing everything under patience and within grace to get to the other side. Do I crawl, walk, run or fly there? I am having a silly moment.  A silly moment to me is when I want to worry but it's beyond me. There is nothing more I can do. That's one feeling I resent the most. Having to do nothing.

Why?

My entire life has always been about having to do something. Not having to worry is scary.  My system is already used to the pressure of overworking, over thinking and over worrying.  Stay calm?

What is that?

I am worried that I am no longer worried. I literally don't care and I say that with a whisper as I am out of breath saying it. I am free of myself and not having to look or dissect a past situation over and over again no longer brings pleasure to my imagination.

Right now, ..........

I don't know. I know what next has instored for me. This is all new. I am used to new environments, people and whatever life has ever offered and is yet to offer me but a new peace of mind and mentality where I get to either do it or leave it and not have to think twice about the before or after, that's a whole different new.

In a strange way, I have conquered my mind and freed it from myself and the world. I don't know if anyone else has been here or is headed there. So, I want to make a toast to everyone who is inbetween now and what next in life ....... may this "confusion" clarity lead to greatness in advance baibee.

Cheers!!!