Wednesday 25 November 2015

The Other Woman

Yesterday I was bored out of my mind so I decided to do what normal people do, see what else is out there. What is everyone else up to. I laughed, rolled my eyes, got mad, irritated but most importantly I felt the need to answer someone who wrote a very juicy piece about the other woman. Girl, you never let that other woman leave alone the world know you give a second thought to who she is leave alone what your "man" sees in her.

Listen, one out of the two reasons below will help you rather to help put your mind to ease. Relax! Am not the other woman but come to think of it, we all date someone whose heart secretly beats for another so that makes all of us men included the other "woman". That name just gave me an idea. Woo and man. Some of you naive or should I correct my village mind modern women woo the man literally. Do you see where the problem is. If at some point you feel like you are the one incharge of this realtionship , you are welcome . Problem solved. You are the problem not him.

Where was I, oh, two reasons. He is attracted to the other woman because she reminds him of you. What!? That is a man for you girlfriend. Selfish but true. You think that was a yikes but am coming for the kill. Ofcourse it's a man's job to care. So he has been supportive, friendly , charming and so on but see to a man, any man his intention is always good. Did he sit you down and ask you to be his? Why would he considering you already moved in, started acting like his wife and even went a step further and address his family members as inlaws. You even killed your dreams not to support his but invade his.lets be real . 

Gratitude and availability is not love. At some point she wrote what do the two of you talk about anyway and went further to ask, " do ya'l talk about me?" Girl please you might be good but not that good to be a topic in any conversation. Besides, how am I supposed to know you exist if the rest of us know him as a single man atleast he admits to being one. 

The most dangerous thought to any human being is knowing. So the fact that you suspect he is "cheating" you just sit there or hope he gets it over and done with then you can go back to being the happy couple everyone else is envying on the outside right? Girl, am the girlfriend you will never have so let me offer you some free and sound advice. When bad gets to worse make that man invest in you because we both know when a man is curious he will never stop until he quenches his thirst. So why not benefit from his little adventure. Enough with the threats and ageless drama consisting of why are you doing this to me blah blah blah. 

Stop googling her to try and see what he sees in her or how she is manipulating am sorry seducing isn't that the word any broken woman would use. I know I have used it before. Like I said am not the other woman nor am I a saint. I am simply using what I have learnt to help someone else. So why didn't I invest in my ex you may ask? He was broke, I was the one providing *laughs* good times huh!? 

The fact that just because he did not do all those nice things to you when you were together doesn't mean he is less of a man. I assure you he will go above and beyond for someone else just not you. Why not you? Because you are in another league and the more you try to bring him to your lane or go down to his you end up arguing. Honey, you have simply outgrown that man. He loves you but is not inlove with you. So you try to do the little things he noticed about you and the more you try the further he is slipping away. I get that. I understand you. I have been there but baby girl you need to love yourself a little more and do the right thing for you.

It doesn't have to go to a place where he is publicly humiliating you. That is where you cross the line. Men are patient and if you are a good lady, he will try not be the one to break up with you. He will make you break up with him eventually. But if he knows you were only there when times were good, you need some serious therapy because he will let you have it, all of it. 

In conclusion if you are the leading lady and have been blaming it on the type of friends he hangs out with, stop! You are living in denial. Wasted years and time is all you will get at the end of this other woman shenanigans. The two of you have grown apart and blaming it on other people or circumstances only makes you come off bitter and ridiculous. Don't go out there and get even either. Who ever said life stops when the one you love loves someone else? It doesn't if anything it helps you know that you did your best and it didn't work so don't wait to be buried. I think that is why we are loosing so many young people. 

Life goes on. When you get your priorities in order soon enough along the way, the right people and opportunities will show you why you never felt quite at home at "home". No one is willing to wait anymore and that is the sad truth. I would rather wait a thousand years on Gods promise am sure will come to pass than tolerate a relationship that leaves me all wrinkled on the outside and dead in the inside. 

Before I stop here let me hit you with a #RealityCheck before the one you are with messed you up, how were you with the one you were with and what baggage did you bring with you to this now " bad man?". Did you enter this new relationship too fast, with the intentions of getting back at your past or to be compensated? Be honest with yourself before I can help you point a finger at that other woman if that other woman even exists. 

Madness is not hereditary but it's self inflicted. 

Thursday 19 November 2015

Later on

It's going to hurt but I will thank myself later on.
I will be tempted to buy myself a bottle of red wine to drain away my sorrow but I will thank myself tomorrow
I might even be tempted to twerk the pain away but as I walk to work I will thank myself later on
It feels as though the world is always expecting more but even with less I find myself thanking myself later on

I will not compromise because I know what I have been promised later on is worth the wait, my fate and faith.
The process leaves me feeling as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel because am already on the highway on my way to a better later on
Being strong at times means having to admit that even though am not okay as of now but later on I will be

The only shame is not living up to your God given name
Live in the moment because later on that is all you will have a quick moment
Memories, afew regrets, what if , if only and finally life goes on
If you gave your all, it will pay off later on

Sunday 15 November 2015

Living a thankful life

It's not everyday that you wake up and you hear those words," live a thankful life". There is always something to be thankful about so as I write this, am doing some soul searching and come to the conclusion that I have so much to be thankful for. This far it has been the mercies and Grace of God. From "am pregnant" to "this is my last born ...my little baby girl". It has been an overwhelming journey with endless self taught lessons and some amazing memories.

2015 has not been the sunshine but who is to say it has not been? I have danced, cried, laughed, gone a little mad inside , made poor, better and bigger decisions that have grown me as a human being and a lady. Life isn't about discovering yourself but understanding what every phase has been about. I know better and I understand myself in a new light. I don't have to be celebrated to feel special because am already special in my own imperfections *I like that*

What is life without afew hiccups? What is life without faith?  What is life without God? Empty! Today am thankful for my past, my present and what is yet to come. ......to living in the moment with a grateful heart.

Thursday 5 November 2015

Continuous Reality

Am slowly forgetting and slowly adapting. It is a slow process but am getting by. Having to forget someone who meant something to your thoughts and heart is hard but when you allow yourself accept that if that amazing experience happened, what of the real deal? 

It is easier to complain and view life as a loss like you having to always loose something or someone in the process but think of someone who has never experienced that little amount of happiness. That they would gladly trade their lives to have just a moment of laughter and not just to laugh at a joke but laughing at the fact tha it has happened to them. 

I am not always positive about what life unfolds but when I get a chance to encourage or share I never shy away. Guess what yes I took a chance and it was something I thought was more of a fantasy than reality *that good* but then that season is over. 

I always find myself talking to my season like you were amazing and appreciate every lesson, memory and for this very moment but I can't be stuck hoping it never ends. So in the borrows words of Christian Grey, "laters baby". 

And that is my #RealityCheck