Wednesday 25 November 2015

The Other Woman

Yesterday I was bored out of my mind so I decided to do what normal people do, see what else is out there. What is everyone else up to. I laughed, rolled my eyes, got mad, irritated but most importantly I felt the need to answer someone who wrote a very juicy piece about the other woman. Girl, you never let that other woman leave alone the world know you give a second thought to who she is leave alone what your "man" sees in her.

Listen, one out of the two reasons below will help you rather to help put your mind to ease. Relax! Am not the other woman but come to think of it, we all date someone whose heart secretly beats for another so that makes all of us men included the other "woman". That name just gave me an idea. Woo and man. Some of you naive or should I correct my village mind modern women woo the man literally. Do you see where the problem is. If at some point you feel like you are the one incharge of this realtionship , you are welcome . Problem solved. You are the problem not him.

Where was I, oh, two reasons. He is attracted to the other woman because she reminds him of you. What!? That is a man for you girlfriend. Selfish but true. You think that was a yikes but am coming for the kill. Ofcourse it's a man's job to care. So he has been supportive, friendly , charming and so on but see to a man, any man his intention is always good. Did he sit you down and ask you to be his? Why would he considering you already moved in, started acting like his wife and even went a step further and address his family members as inlaws. You even killed your dreams not to support his but invade his.lets be real . 

Gratitude and availability is not love. At some point she wrote what do the two of you talk about anyway and went further to ask, " do ya'l talk about me?" Girl please you might be good but not that good to be a topic in any conversation. Besides, how am I supposed to know you exist if the rest of us know him as a single man atleast he admits to being one. 

The most dangerous thought to any human being is knowing. So the fact that you suspect he is "cheating" you just sit there or hope he gets it over and done with then you can go back to being the happy couple everyone else is envying on the outside right? Girl, am the girlfriend you will never have so let me offer you some free and sound advice. When bad gets to worse make that man invest in you because we both know when a man is curious he will never stop until he quenches his thirst. So why not benefit from his little adventure. Enough with the threats and ageless drama consisting of why are you doing this to me blah blah blah. 

Stop googling her to try and see what he sees in her or how she is manipulating am sorry seducing isn't that the word any broken woman would use. I know I have used it before. Like I said am not the other woman nor am I a saint. I am simply using what I have learnt to help someone else. So why didn't I invest in my ex you may ask? He was broke, I was the one providing *laughs* good times huh!? 

The fact that just because he did not do all those nice things to you when you were together doesn't mean he is less of a man. I assure you he will go above and beyond for someone else just not you. Why not you? Because you are in another league and the more you try to bring him to your lane or go down to his you end up arguing. Honey, you have simply outgrown that man. He loves you but is not inlove with you. So you try to do the little things he noticed about you and the more you try the further he is slipping away. I get that. I understand you. I have been there but baby girl you need to love yourself a little more and do the right thing for you.

It doesn't have to go to a place where he is publicly humiliating you. That is where you cross the line. Men are patient and if you are a good lady, he will try not be the one to break up with you. He will make you break up with him eventually. But if he knows you were only there when times were good, you need some serious therapy because he will let you have it, all of it. 

In conclusion if you are the leading lady and have been blaming it on the type of friends he hangs out with, stop! You are living in denial. Wasted years and time is all you will get at the end of this other woman shenanigans. The two of you have grown apart and blaming it on other people or circumstances only makes you come off bitter and ridiculous. Don't go out there and get even either. Who ever said life stops when the one you love loves someone else? It doesn't if anything it helps you know that you did your best and it didn't work so don't wait to be buried. I think that is why we are loosing so many young people. 

Life goes on. When you get your priorities in order soon enough along the way, the right people and opportunities will show you why you never felt quite at home at "home". No one is willing to wait anymore and that is the sad truth. I would rather wait a thousand years on Gods promise am sure will come to pass than tolerate a relationship that leaves me all wrinkled on the outside and dead in the inside. 

Before I stop here let me hit you with a #RealityCheck before the one you are with messed you up, how were you with the one you were with and what baggage did you bring with you to this now " bad man?". Did you enter this new relationship too fast, with the intentions of getting back at your past or to be compensated? Be honest with yourself before I can help you point a finger at that other woman if that other woman even exists. 

Madness is not hereditary but it's self inflicted. 

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