21 Days .... Days 3 &4

These two days were the hate and love. The I don't need you and am smiling sheepishly to myself thinking about you. What am I doing vs I can't wait. The bad came with the good.  Yesterday I apparently disliked you for no reason but today am all in.

You are so annoying yet I like every minute of it. I want to give you a piece of my mind but am sure I will end up giving you my heart instead. I am thinking with my head but am responding to my heart. You are too full of yourself, who isn't? You are the most humble man I have ever came across in such a short amount of time. 

I don't want to write I want to talk. I have a billion ....fine two or three things to say but I feel as though it's alot. I don't lie but I exaggerate. I mean how else is a story supposed to be juicy. You are a very smart man which is irritatingly seductive so am sure you are not only reading this but on to my shenanigans. I hope you find me amusing and hilarious. Well, don't ever say I never entertained you.

Incase you ever use this against me, I will never confess in person EVER!!!!!!! not unless *evil laughter* you are my #RealityCheck

Hugs and kisses darling!

21 Days .....Day 2

Sure I missed Clark Kent but what's the need of you being superman if you can't use your superpowers. Had to handle afew emergencies. What is a girl supposed to do when all eyes are on her yet all she knows is the show has, MUST go on? It was not a good day but it never is I mean isn't that what humans call growing up! When something is that personal even a strong tomboy like myself finds herself helplessly emotional on the inside in need of rescuing.

Having to hide the fear in my tone while making everyone around me be brave is a gift. Sometimes, I just want to be normal but then again I am my mother's daughter so there is no room for showing any weakness especially in public. I guess it explains why no matter how bad I want you, I end up proving that I don't need you.

See Clark, I have mastered and perfected my silence. I just observe (keep my distance) , listen to evidence (words) and watch the truth (body language). So don't mistake my silence for naivety or not having a voice. So forgive me if the superman in you doesn't get to save me because am not looking to be found by a life partner or just another man but what I seek is inspiration. Don't get me wrong, you already are my HERO. I need to know the real you first past your titles , with your titles and if I still find that my heart beats faster than my mind can shade up a sarcasm then there is something there.

I need to be sure that I can still be myself even with you in the picture. I don't want to mistake the blue sky with grey clouds hiding the moon and stars. I am patiently waiting for my soulmate so I can't cheat my way there or compromise trying to play someone else's role. Life is not too short rather everyone else is in a bloody hurry to add time to life by trying to live it up. There is nothing wrong with slowing down because I assure you different is mind blowing.

Yesterday's #RealityCheck

The Power Of A Broken Heart .....21 Days ...Day 1

Dear God,
I have been here so many times but this time it's different. This is my heartfelt letter to you regarding someone's son. I know the power of a prayerful woman.I also believe in offering a broken heart as a sacrifice to gain honor from you in the case where one party has been unfairly treated and the other has taken advantage ,gone a step further to become greedily ungrateful. There is nothing wrong with such a man but his intentions and motives were just not right.

You know my heart better than anyone on the face of the earth no matter how many times they try and understand . I am a good lady. You know my weaknesses being human am bound to do better or worse in any given situation. Today am asking you to work on the best thing which makes the rest of my organs function. My heart. There is a reason why it's called a bloody organ as it hurts in ways I feel every inch of my body and soul slowing dying.

I believe in second and not just that but you are a merciful God so you grant selfless chances regardless of whether it's well deserved or not. I also believe in compensation. When you close one door being such a loving father and gentleman you open another. Even when it seems like it's the end of the road.

Tonight My King, I honor you for always standing with and by me even when sometimes it felt like you were allowing the wrong man try and break my faith in you. When I look back now, I knew he was the right man for the job. He had to frustrate me enough to need you more. He had to be unreliable for me to rely on you. I offered my brokenness and asked you to compensate me according to my hand written note which you answered. I wrote a note in faith and when God answered it took me by surprise. It was a long painful process. Even in tears and torn apart I was determined to win you over with my dedication and what was left of my faith. I gave it evetything I had. It's not like I doubted God, I just didn't expect to be honored. I simply didn't feel like I deserved it but it came true. I am still speechless like it happened. It really did. Faith moves mountains especially if your heart is right and blameless before God. When you open up to God, He will entrust you with things and people who you thought were far out of reach. The power of a broken heart. You can use the pain to grow and move God or stay bitter and blame God.

Day 1.
Thank you for my answered prayer. I pray that you teach him how to love you and himself first. To accept what he can and can't. To trust you and himself in the process. The same way you sent angels my way, use your unique ways for him to know that he is not alone. He is special to me so I give him back to you to work on him until you feel he is ready to be out there. Be his father, his friend and pillar. He needs you a little more tonight and since I can't be there for him, please dad watch over him and let him be the man my heart tells me he is. Greatness awaits him in ways only you can unfold each day. Be his guide.  Keep him safe. Guard his heart and let his head rely on you and not facts and fiction. I am a living testimony so I know what you saw and still see in me, you can do the same for this son of a woman. Reward his mother for not just raising a man but a gentleman. He is not perfect as a matter of fact he is lacking in ways only you can mend and meet those needs.

Thank you for being God above all other things.

Yours Loving,
The daughter who calls this my #RealityCheck
A friend Of God.

When you find it......

I now fully understand what my bestfriend is always talking about when she says that she would rather live inlove with the man of her dreams for one day than settle for just any male figure twenty years down the line unhappy. After watching the notebook movie four times I saw it. True love. It doesn't break my heart to watch people settle down too fast or not wanting more out of their relationships but what drives me crazy are the reasons why they got together in the first place and the "I never saw that coming" excuses.

In the words of a very wise lady, pardon my honesty but your age doesn't allow you to tolerate certain shenanigans. You ought to know better by now now that you accepted to be in certain compromising situations. Sure your friends influenced you but at the end of the day who made that decision? Exactly. You weren't complaining when the good times lasted so why do you want us to feel sorry for you now that times have changed? Allow me to go further and say that you are very greedy. You want the package and for society to sympathise!

Live but most importantly live in the moment. If you find what you want then work hard to not only get but maintain it. It's a process. You won't meet today and get married tomorrow. Love is a job which most assume is effortless. Keep the romance alive but most importantly build and focus on God. As the good book says love is patient and  kind. Don't just love , fall inlove.  And that is my #RealityCheck . Have yourselves a warm, calm night full of hope, humility and love checkmates.