This is how you know that you have matured. When you read your old posts on social media and make faces. I am not talking about love faces sorry Trey Songz rather the lemon test on babies faces. Good God what is that and why was I even allowed to experience that? But I understand and this is why. I was still walking around so angry from disappointments in life. What threw me off more is the kind of energy that I had allowed myself to be around.
Looking back at that one update and those desperate comments from human beings who were less than smart led me to this beautiful realisation that I was stuck emotionally. I actually do feel so sad for that part of me that had to endure all that. What people don't understand is that one right disappointment can leave you stuck. If I was a man would I date the younger me from that post? No!
The lady I am today can openly admit and share my failures not for social influential gains but like I have repeatedly written, this blog is cheap therapy. I am my worst critic, my own fan and biggest encouragement. I am a three lady 2019. I laugh at society because you can't beat someone whose only choice is to win because most of my life I have been stuck. Having said that, how many people are still guilty of being stuck? Especially in relationships why would you feel the need to overprove yourself? Perhaps I am shamelessly naive or delusional but shouldn't it feel like home and not a house? Shouldn't I be myself around you after all you complete me right?
I am from watching a very educative romantic movie. Not to be misquoted but in my opinion the best kind of love is when both of you are mature. Busy wondering what next in your lives if not careers. My mission 2019 is to achieve that level of maturity whereby when presented with the perfect job, relationship or purpose I will humbly bow out or accept it. You know what this is everything I have always wanted but someone else needs this more than I do. There are so many good men out there but I don't want to camouflage myself to appear good for them to spot or accept me. I just want for it to unfold beautifully on its own. Like we might start off on a bad note but that will only spark something assuring deep inside you to let you know that's my insecurity acting up. You are not just good but me good. I know it's out there. I know he is.
How many people are walking around stuck doing the right thing for everyone else but it's not happiness fulfilling? 2019, are you happy? Why are you still stuck in okay when you can be fantastic. What you find yourself doing passionately should come naturally. The same with love. Some days you feel like a superhero and other times you just want to be saved. There must be consistency for it to work from both parties. 2019 chanel in your inner maturity and have an honest conversation with your heart and mind. It will lead you to your #RealityCheck
No comments:
Post a Comment