Reflections

I will be sharing how #LetLoveHaveTheLastWord is slowly impacting my life. So many realizations as I self reflect. Starting from the beginning would mean not being in the very moment that very feeling made all my senses aware of what is slowly happening to me. It is amazing how someone else’s honesty hits home.

I am drawn to honesty whether it’s less or more of my expectations. Listen, that is your truth and I respect you for that. Does it make me view you less or more? Not at all. It is what it is and I like you for trusting me enough to open up.

Page 64 when he writes all of this because of one song. I currently have two songs on repeat. My favourite 2019. God I can’t get enough of them. Both songs got me very vulnerable. See in page 60 he writes ask yourself why you no longer believe in love. At the end of the answer , a face will appear in your mind. Back to real life please allow me to ask this,”why do you believe in love?” At the end of the answer, again, a face will appear in your mind.

I have been inlove and I am inlove with myself. I slowly feel that now where I am at in my life I am willing to allow myself be vulnerable with not only love but with others as well. Presented with a male version of myself yes, I could see myself settling down and taking on the rest of life with him. I usually don’t care but I do want to care. I have been selfless with myself and now I want to share that with everyone else.

Thank you Common for that #RealityCheck.

I have never gotten back half of what I give out.

I have been here before. I have done this. I am not sure if I have blogged this before but being a #Truesday I must live up to my first name.  Why haven't I blogged rather why haven't I been consistent? I was broke not on vibe or inspiration but financially. It's being broke that got me here in the first place so let's just say,  whenever I have it, it feels like am on vacation so now am back home. So it's safe to say rather for you are the reader to assume being broke keeps me humble? No having more than I require keeps me humble. I have mastered being broke and using it to make it work in my favour.

The many guys I have liked and they have been quite alot had me thinking. I have only dated two guys in my entire life though I doubt if the first one really counts as I was still in high school but he asked (what a gentleman) so yes two. After my second real relationship I met afew more what ifs but none of them really stood out.

My lesson is this. I finally realised that I have always "killed" who I am to belong.  Let no one fool you. We all want association but we desperately feel the need to belong. Badly! Shiro I know you will read this and please don't even think of reminding me of how I really insisted on belonging *laughing but in an embarrassed manner*. This is my truth. I have always loved and will forever love cars. I have older brothers but I always joke and say secretly am sure my dad wanted me to be a boy. I got my passion from him. I understand my dad owned a jeep and quite the bachelor life right before he met my mum but sold it. As a little girl, I loved cleaning our Peugeot 504 and as soon as I was done I would start the engine and imitate how my dad made faces while driving.

In highschool I was more into games than I was with my education. And all the men who thought I was an honor student left, unfollowed and blocked all my social media accounts. Beautiful!! Sarcasm is an effortless gift. For those slow men out there, I was kidding about the men not the education part *laughing sheepishly*. Please try and keep up. OMG! That's it. That's my point right there. I have spent all my energy on different relationship(s) trying to keep up with them and get this, none of them ever "killed" who they are to keep up with all of me.

I have never gotten back half of what I give out.

#RealityCheck 

That is why I have chosen to be single for this long. I apologise to all those amazing gentlemen out there but I have nothing to offer you if all you have to offer is brokenness and being emotionally unavailable. I am not the girl for you.  I can't save you leave alone encourage you back to life. Life is too short to wait around for the day someone will hopefully see you the way you need to be seen. I don't mind living in a simple home but both of us not getting enough of each other each passing day. I want to laugh for the rest of my life. Let's question everything else but not one another or why we are both here. My biggest fear is waking up one day and realising that I have fallen out of love with the man I saw myself dying beside. I deserve the kind of love where even when I say am done and about to leave, he holds my hand and walks out with me in search for whatever it is I feel I miss. Even when we are old and very unattractive, we are the envy  of young people. 

If I never do anything right before my parents and God, it's my prayer and desire to be found by my soulmate and together our souls will awaken a love so strong and true, we will teach and heal the world with the true meaning of falling inlove.

Other than all that, everyday I live to inspire myself. I have said this before and I will keep repeating it, everything else is just icing on the cake but not the main ingredients . I am the main ingredients and without me there can be no cake. Yum!!!

Julying Truesday

To all the single men out there, today I am here to help. Let’s establish where you have been going wrong. I need you to be very honest with me here. Help me help you. Damn! For a quick second I almost believed myself hahahahaha. Seriously though let’s begin now shall we:

Lowering my imaginary reading glasses as the entire room smells of me....

When was the last time you were in a relationship? If a month ago or say two days ago,I have the solution for you. Yours is a very simple case. You are a certified man whore.There is no cure for that. You need condoms or vasectomy for the sake of those naive girls out there .Next

When you walk into a room, do people immediately notice you, ignore you , shown the way back out or none of the above? Assuming you like ladies, do they find you attractive or must you make a statement to draw their attention? On a scale of 1-10 what am I working with?

*waits patiently* .....

Crickets

Listen, ugly is okay as long as you have a handsome bank account. That’s the word on the street so am just stating facts here. If you are good looking chances are your bank account is fucked up!You simply live off other men. Again, am just stating facts. seguimos juntos? I don't speak Spanish I just Googled that *laughing* . Or maybe I do. You will never know.

If you are average looking with a royalty bank account you will survive amongst these hawks & hyenas of ladies who are with you to prosper themselves financially just don’t be picky after all you are not that appealing to look at either. It kinda is a fair game if you ask me. It takes two to tango. Wrong intentions will always attract the wrong crowd. Common sense sir,  common sense!

If you are mind blowing gorgeous that ladies practically throw themselves at you without you having to chase them, that right there is the problem. They already have high expectations especially financially. So you find yourself living way beyond what you can afford aka LOANS!!! No matter how simple you think you look someone out there will always have butterflies everytime they see you. Don't stretch your budget to accommodate a temporary fling. Work for it that way, you will appreciate everything about her. Stop being chased and start chasing realistically.

My point is simply this, men, you have been viewing and going into the dating game with the same game plan expecting better results. We are all born exceptionally beautiful and handsome. This has nothing to do with physicality. If all you are after is beauty then you might as well walk up to her with your bank statements. This blog is for the men who are done with one night stands, meaningless not this year type of relationships. I am talking to men who are after the real deal. Men who see past the make up and your perfected crafts. Men who just want to have a decent conversation without worrying if she might rob you or second guess himself just because she doesnt laugh at your jokes. First of all why would you be with someone who doesn't get your sense of humour effortlessly? What madness is that? Stop trying to over enhance what’s already visible.

And last but not least, this is my definition of a broke man. Most of you lack dreams that’s why you always end the relationship too soon or years later when you realize she didn’t have a dream either. Her work is to improve on what you have already presented her. Don’t be empty!

Let me leave with this quote from Jesse Duplantis,"A broke man is not a man without a nickle,  but a man without a dream." How is that for a #RealityCheck.

Celebrating Gentlemen

Today am celebrating all the gentlemen out there who have had to make life changing mistakes but then came back to their senses somehow when the lady you loved walked out and your mother didn't quit praying and kept waiting at the door for the day you would come back home year in and out. It takes a strong man to pick up his brokenness and failure because clearly, you were worth the wait.

The man you are and becoming today is who am applauding.

Let's have a proud moment of silence.

Oh wow!!!!  *smiles*

It wasn't easy especially for you because  you thought you were making progress while deep down you were slowly killing everyone who loved you.God has your dreams in place and rewards awaiting . Now that you are home where you belong being the man He created you to be, know  that he will indeed shower you with yet another chance to bless you with true love , a fast forward and will give you all what the devil stole from you.

What took you so damn long?

Ops! It had to take a #RealityCheck huh!?  No worries.

Stay blessed our future lovers, husbands and fathers to the next generations.