Until you get up

But He himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and He requested for himself that He might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. And as He lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.1 Kings 19:4-5

We all have different assignments and this is what I want and hope you learn from this. Just because you are the best at what you do, doesn’t necessarily mean things will be easier. As a matter of fact, things will always get worse.God has a sense of humor. Elijah was done but God wasn’t through with him yet. He lay there to die but instead fell asleep. That is so funny. The angel woke him up to eat. How hilarious is that. At that particular moment Elijah wasn’t being a prophet but a man. A scared man. The devil is a liar because he has a way of making you forget who you are and insisting on showing you how down, alone and getting you in the victim position. More fear as you wallow in thoughts.

I have pulled an Elijah. God am done. I have done all I can do, please take back you gifts and let me be normal. For a while God silenced my gifts. Go read my blog. I thought they were the ones always landing me in unnecessary troubles and in a way, it’s true. I am who I am only because of my gifts. I am my gifts. It’s not something you put on or switch off. It’s who you are. People oppose what they don’t understand. They don’t dislike you because of what you own but they themselves are struggling to get where you are.

Until God is done with you like I wrote in my blog, get comfortable. Like Elijah He will wake you up and feed you because much more awaits. I said God is not done. Let that sink in. It’s okay to be yourself around God but that doesn’t take the gift away from you. Crying doesn’t mean you won’t smile or laugh again. Pain doesn’t mean you won’t embrace love again. You can be surrounded by bad situations but that doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Because of your positivity and how you view life differently that’s why you are placed there. The more you pour into it, the tougher it hardens you. Stop complaining why things aren’t adding up and start remembering who you are. The victories you have had. Quitting has never been your thing. Draw strength from what happened the last time you tried to quit.

What if God doesn’t send someone to encourage you? We serve a merciful God and He has His ways of speaking to all of us yet personalize each message. Even when things go from bad to worse they never get to the worst. If feels like it but it never gets there. God is everywhere. Help is on the way. Even when you are down, God is right there watching over you. We are human. You may be tired but God has enough strength for the two of you. You may be done and God will allow you to take some time off but He is not done with you.

I write all this because I have been there and being down is worse than being opposed. When you are down, you are your own worst enemy. The thoughts you tell yourself only worsen the situation. Staying down feels and seems easier than getting right back up. Until you get up.

From my experience, being down turns you from a worrier to warrior. God will send you exactly what you need to hear or see to get back up. One of two things happen when you are down. You will either kill your gifts or something in you will have to die. You are never the same.You will do things differently as you find your rhythm. When you find your beat, you create your song. It gets better from there. When you accept your gifts and know how to properly utilize them, you become a force to be reckoned with .

You may be down but not for long. Like I said help is always on the way. I hope you have had ample time reflecting and resting when down there because things are about to change the pace. These are not just #MyMagazineThoughts but a reminder of where I was when I finally changed.

You needed TIME to grow

I want you to do yourself this favor and go back to a point in life you felt the lowest. Not 2020 when the pandemic 😷 hit, ofcourse not. Don’t try and pull a fast one on me. Am talking way back when you were all alone, life actually felt lonely 😩. Are you there yet? Stay there

What brought about those mixed emotions and sorrow ☹️ ? Who did? Was it something they said , did or both? If it was Njeri yo, I plead the fifth 😶. Think of how seeing them made you envision yourself. Everything felt over. You are sad again aren’t you? Now go through your photos and look at the most recent picture of yourself alone. Zoom in on that selfie you took and quickly remind yourself how you felt taking it. Go back to the mixed emotions and visualize who or what was said and done about you. Admire yourself one last TIME

OMG 😆. Right? When did this recent you allow that old you take in garbage and less than smart remarks from people and situations like that? Now do you believe that “Good things take TIME?” You needed to go through that to get to where you are today. You needed TIME to grow.

What makes you assume, this is the end when what looked like the end wasn’t? Baibèé you have got a long way to go. Buckle up sweetheart. TIMES have changed and so have you. You are better than what they said and certainly smarter than what you allowed yourself to believe.If God didn’t leave you then, why would HE now especially after working thoroughly on you. What happened was wrong but HE had to make sure you kept your focus on forward motion. Would you have closed or left that chapter of your life on your own? Be honest? You should thank God.

Alot awaits. Incase you ever have doubts, remember all that, admire the crap out of yourself, be thankful, smile and read #MyMagazineThoughts because there is always something inspirational to keep you encouraged.

My perspective on life

I have come to understand myself. I don’t go in when everyone else is hyped up. Am hardly ever around to be honest and if you happen to see me, trust me, am not paying attention. I like taking my time to understand the story and lessons before, during and after.

I am not slow, am simply comfortable behind the scenes and if not showing up late, not showing up at all. I usually take my time. It may look as though am missing out on opportunities but I know when am not ready or equipped enough to even talk a big game.

I know when am ready and I know when am not. I don’t need facts, I just trust my gut feeling even without seeing what is being offered. Listen, trust is not much but to me it’s my driving force. How do I expect to be entrusted if I have trust issues? If I don’t show up, it’s not my thing but if I show up, there is work to do. Am less inclined to the physical as opposed to the mental aspect of it. The one thing you will notice about me is PERSPECTIVE. My perspective on life. It won’t change you but rather instill fear in you.It will confuse you then without hesitation, it will redirect your questioning anything and everyone coming and going in and out of your life. From will they like me, to I am beginning to embrace myself. I actually like myself.

You will have the feeling of I have been ahead yet somehow I have been dragging the rest of myself along the way. Roles will change. You will stop chasing and start focusing yourself forward and somehow wonder when everyone else will catch up with #MyMagazineThoughts

It's still a very promising year

There is someone somewhere probably wondering 💭 when will this ever add up. Is it all for nothing? When am I ever going to get my big break. I have been working tirelessly on myself inside out yet it feels as though God has forgotten about me. I am tired. I am fed up. I have both good news and bad news. 

The bad news is unfortunately, being tired, giving up or even crying won’t pursued God to do things your way.Child, been there failed miserably.I even went to church one time with an attitude. Everytime the preacher would say God is good,  I would roll my eyes and softly whisper to myself to you, He has been good to you, my enemies but not me. I was angry and hurt. If that’s you reading this, I assure you, I understand your frustrations.The worst kind of punishment is having to sit down and wait. Watching others accomplish while you wait. Taking in the humiliation of “failure” because all you can do is wait.

Good God I feel you.I have been you and even worse. Having evil or bad thoughts from my side of viewing life is still creativity. You are just channeling it the wrong way but that’s so much potential “waiting” to be tapped into. Can I preach? It gets interesting I promise. Why does it hurt? Because it matters. You are focusing you anger on God because you He unlike man knows you better. He is the one who gave you that gift in the first place. This was supposed to a different year. For the first time ever, you had started to believe again until....

To conclude the bad news, God is not your agemate. You can’t manipulate or threaten the Great I AM. Listen Moses in the Bible had a slow tongue but did that stop God? Am sure there must have been men eloquent and sophisticated enough but God being God had to show off. Do you see where am going with this? Whatever you are going through could be considered as a “slow tongue” but that doesn’t and will definitely won’t stop God from fulfilling His will over your life even though it’s going to bruise and leave scars. Is there anyone with scars? Then you have a story about to tell.

Am done preaching for now. 

The good news is that the reason you keep getting that NO or rejected is because the people you keep trying to impress don’t understand your gift. Right gift, wrong crowd. God is preparing a place for your gift. As a matter of fact, God is going to cause the right people to EXPECT you. He is busy representing you indirectly so that when “that need” arises and I guarantee it will, they have to LOOK for the person for the job. While He is working on you, He is creating a platform to show you off on.Don’t just pray when things are bad and times are tough, learn to talk to God. Get into the habit of giving thanks. There are times I could have sworn God was setting me up for misery but looking back at it all, am ashamed for even giving God an attitude. It’s never what it seems.

I always assumed that being popular lands you great friends, an amazing spouse and the life. Today, all that sounds way too basic for my liking. I strive to make a difference with the little I have. Sure it’s less but to someone else is way much more. I seek purpose above fame. Sure I will dream. The more unrealistic it sounds the greater I will pursue it. Listen if God wanted someone for the job, He would have easily done so. It’s what makes you “weird” that has God going hmmm I see greatness in this one. Oh, for such a time, I had you waiting for this. I am slowly starting to understand it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I know this because I made it out of that dark cloud that weighed me down. Njeri, what did you get out of it? Am so glad someone asked that *laughing hysterically*. Well, I started to see myself the way God does. If it means me staying quiet, walking away, fighting (in prayer), going the extra mile I will happily do so. I used to be so worried and bothered of how others were living their lives and I wasn’t. That’s because they were utilizing their gifts and I wasn’t. People are drawn to confidence. Say what you may or will but I have actually tested this out. Do what you are good at confidently. That’s why people end up assuming it’s so easy but in actual sense it’s not.

The only thing I regret is having waited with my head held down in shame. With everything going on, it was understandable but I secretly wish I didn’t have to beat myself down that low. Was it necessary, not really but I guess somehow.

It’s still a very promising year. I never thought I would ever gather the courage to pursue anything yet here I am writing this. Clearly you are not going to read this and get high on life. Ofcourse but each day, wake up atleast full of yourself. Until you live your dream, keep dreaming. Don’t stop,keeping going. Until you find true love,fall deeply inlove with yourself. Time changes everything. God created you to be you for a certain reason. Find out what it is and you will find your true happiness. Being wrong inspired me to write #MyMagazineThoughts