It's still a very promising year

There is someone somewhere probably wondering 💭 when will this ever add up. Is it all for nothing? When am I ever going to get my big break. I have been working tirelessly on myself inside out yet it feels as though God has forgotten about me. I am tired. I am fed up. I have both good news and bad news. 

The bad news is unfortunately, being tired, giving up or even crying won’t pursued God to do things your way.Child, been there failed miserably.I even went to church one time with an attitude. Everytime the preacher would say God is good,  I would roll my eyes and softly whisper to myself to you, He has been good to you, my enemies but not me. I was angry and hurt. If that’s you reading this, I assure you, I understand your frustrations.The worst kind of punishment is having to sit down and wait. Watching others accomplish while you wait. Taking in the humiliation of “failure” because all you can do is wait.

Good God I feel you.I have been you and even worse. Having evil or bad thoughts from my side of viewing life is still creativity. You are just channeling it the wrong way but that’s so much potential “waiting” to be tapped into. Can I preach? It gets interesting I promise. Why does it hurt? Because it matters. You are focusing you anger on God because you He unlike man knows you better. He is the one who gave you that gift in the first place. This was supposed to a different year. For the first time ever, you had started to believe again until....

To conclude the bad news, God is not your agemate. You can’t manipulate or threaten the Great I AM. Listen Moses in the Bible had a slow tongue but did that stop God? Am sure there must have been men eloquent and sophisticated enough but God being God had to show off. Do you see where am going with this? Whatever you are going through could be considered as a “slow tongue” but that doesn’t and will definitely won’t stop God from fulfilling His will over your life even though it’s going to bruise and leave scars. Is there anyone with scars? Then you have a story about to tell.

Am done preaching for now. 

The good news is that the reason you keep getting that NO or rejected is because the people you keep trying to impress don’t understand your gift. Right gift, wrong crowd. God is preparing a place for your gift. As a matter of fact, God is going to cause the right people to EXPECT you. He is busy representing you indirectly so that when “that need” arises and I guarantee it will, they have to LOOK for the person for the job. While He is working on you, He is creating a platform to show you off on.Don’t just pray when things are bad and times are tough, learn to talk to God. Get into the habit of giving thanks. There are times I could have sworn God was setting me up for misery but looking back at it all, am ashamed for even giving God an attitude. It’s never what it seems.

I always assumed that being popular lands you great friends, an amazing spouse and the life. Today, all that sounds way too basic for my liking. I strive to make a difference with the little I have. Sure it’s less but to someone else is way much more. I seek purpose above fame. Sure I will dream. The more unrealistic it sounds the greater I will pursue it. Listen if God wanted someone for the job, He would have easily done so. It’s what makes you “weird” that has God going hmmm I see greatness in this one. Oh, for such a time, I had you waiting for this. I am slowly starting to understand it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I know this because I made it out of that dark cloud that weighed me down. Njeri, what did you get out of it? Am so glad someone asked that *laughing hysterically*. Well, I started to see myself the way God does. If it means me staying quiet, walking away, fighting (in prayer), going the extra mile I will happily do so. I used to be so worried and bothered of how others were living their lives and I wasn’t. That’s because they were utilizing their gifts and I wasn’t. People are drawn to confidence. Say what you may or will but I have actually tested this out. Do what you are good at confidently. That’s why people end up assuming it’s so easy but in actual sense it’s not.

The only thing I regret is having waited with my head held down in shame. With everything going on, it was understandable but I secretly wish I didn’t have to beat myself down that low. Was it necessary, not really but I guess somehow.

It’s still a very promising year. I never thought I would ever gather the courage to pursue anything yet here I am writing this. Clearly you are not going to read this and get high on life. Ofcourse but each day, wake up atleast full of yourself. Until you live your dream, keep dreaming. Don’t stop,keeping going. Until you find true love,fall deeply inlove with yourself. Time changes everything. God created you to be you for a certain reason. Find out what it is and you will find your true happiness. Being wrong inspired me to write #MyMagazineThoughts