People can see and feel it when they meet you.

Am lying in bed fighting off this fear trying to creep up on me and then my mind has just reminded me of the old decade. You talk of having having a bad day, week, month, year but can you imagine having a bad life? Having a bad decade and previously being lost. Good Morning

The first time you meet me or I enter your life I always start off with this line, “am not like anyone you have ever met.”That alone should be enough to let you know there is a story to me. Nothing about me is a coincidence. Everything about me serves a purpose even my silliness. I wasn’t planning to blog as my mind was blank but then again like I said there is a reason why I act, react and enact anything and everything. Am assigned to specific people, times and moments. It’s never at their top (unfortunately) it’s always at their bottom.To me winning is the icing of the cake which you can live without. What matters are the ingredients. In you being moulded into a winner already makes you one, so it’s common sense to expect the win. I don’t even have the luxury to stick around and wait for the obvious.

Back to my story. Walk into any workshop you know. Take carpentry as an example. All you see at first is timber. It’s not beautiful to look at as compared to the finished product. It’s a process right? As soon as that carpenter is done, it becomes a masterpiece.My character has been tested and refined and my personality is impeccable. I can blend with those with and without. I respect soldiers because of the training and experience they have when it comes to survival. They can handle anything because of the acquired skills.That is how God has been with me. He has equipped me with everything I need to not only survive but help others. God is thorough, He doesn’t miss a detail. Your outside has no choice but to match your inside. Everything shows. People can see and feel it when they meet you.

It’s not me being optimistic about 2021 being a good year, it’s me assuring you because of the far God has brought me. Everyone had written me off including myself sometimes though deep down I knew because I always saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

All I ask is you have a little more faith in God. He is always up to something good. Even when I was down, He ensured I kept something up. Even in the midst of darkness, if you can still dream or hope, you will survive. God always show up. This too will be #MyMagazineThoughts

Njeri, GO for what you want

Ask anyone who has gotten bad breaks over and over again how it feels to get a good break. It’s always a humbling moment and they never forget. It changes everything about them. I know this all too well because I am such a person. Bad breaks aren’t meant to harm you or turn you into somebody that you are not. Bad breaks sculpt your CHARACTER. That’s why even in the presence of good breaks you are still the same person only this time you have more.

Real quick, who are you with and without everything you own right now? Are you better or worse. Can you still be reliable? Would you still make time if you still had it all?

2020 was not a bad year, it just brought out a bad attitude in people who either hid behind other people or material things. See everything you need is not what surrounds you but it’s IN YOU. What you need is already inside you. You and I just needed that simple reminder. I have made more of an effort this year. I have been very intentional. I have found that in loving and accepting both my strengths and shortcomings I have made life easier for not only myself but those around me. Set yourself FREE from worrying or over expectations and live in the fucking moment. If you overthink it, hey, you might just go mad. I can still be godly and  still be a sexy fox. Always ask yourself this,”What else can I do?” Then and there you will have your answers.

Put yourself first. Listen, you can try and please the entire universe and people will still find fault in you. So, if you use that same determination to atleast like yourself, you will somehow understand your flaws and appreciate yourself. No one else needs to like you but YOU. They say it’s not how hard you fall but personally since I have been down there I say this. It’s what you find or discover when you are down there about yourself and others that determines how fast and strong you will not only get up but STAY UP. I can only speak from my experience so unless you WISH to learn the hard way, don’t learn from others mistakes. You will not only waste time but years. Again, I know what am talking about. Don’t ever take the people who “appear in your life” especially in tough times lightly.

This is very personal and special to me because I have had “angels” people who see greatness and let you be during those hard times. So if this year I have just “appeared” at the right time, it’s because you needed that as SO MUCH MORE AWAITS YOU. I need you to CARRY the good deed forward. If someone is kind to you, go out there and be kind to someone else. We are all lost yet we have so much to offer each other. Don’t be self centered to assume you were born to only receive and not give back. Oh really now? Please, NO! It’s not about the year or the pandemic rather it’s about you as an individual. How much as a human being have you grown? What impact have you had on someone’s life? We all had and still have equal opportunities, how are you utilizing your gift? Do you even like yourself?

I am not one to sugarcoat reality. That’s why you have dreams. You can still give yourself that and better. This is the time to bring down all those walls. A wise man told me this. There is a difference between protecting yourself and SHIELDING yourself. Let that wisdom sink in.

This year I have allowed myself to let in those emotions. I have lowered my guard a little (baby steps people baby steps). I have had two different men tell me the same thing. Njeri,GO for what you want. Angels everywhere. So ladies and gentlemen am going for #MyMagazineThoughts

Hey, Njeri, you are just human

2020 has been an amazing year for me. The beginning of a new decade. I didn’t get blessings in double double (It’s a thing where I am from), humbling enough, each day was and still is a blessing. This is my self reevaluation. I am really excited. Welcome to #MyMagazineThoughts

Judging from what I post you can already tell I am very intentional in what I share. Encouraging is my thing. Not mostly to others but to myself. I believe that in loving yourself, you are able to love others back. Some would argue and say in helping others, you help yourself. There is what I had in mind even as open as I am yet there is what God brought to pass. I prefer His way over mine anytime. As long as I remind myself that God is my father I will never question His motives by allowing either good or bad things my way. He has got me like like that. In the past decade serving God wasn’t easy. I was still so much into my flesh that sometimes it got in the way of learning and seeing the beauty of His works and words. I just wanted the gift and not the giver. Clearly, God wasn’t changing his mind about me so I slowly changed.

This year, in as much as I have cried, I have laughed more. It’s where I can genuinely look back at those months and calmly admit, I am actually very okay. I have had a very good year simply because I let go of my expectations and allowed the will of God to be done in my life.To be honest, I don’t know who I have survived. I want to say suffice grace but in my humble opinion, I am here by the mercies of God. Not because I am worthy, goodness there are souls much more deserving. I don’t know why God loves me considering I have failed too many times. 2020 I have questioned less and obeyed more. To me I didn’t make sense. None of it did. But to the people I offered kindness with my words of comfort and few actions, it left me speechless. I am humbled.

My love life is better. Though still single I have learnt to express myself more. Am not afraid to state my intentions and speak my mind though in a considerate way without hurting the other persons feelings. It’s okay to be open yet still not settle for what you don’t want. See I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to change a man’s mind in thinking to myself maybe if I go on an actual date with him, he might just find me mind blowing. If your mind wasn’t blown  in our conversation(s) surely I shouldn’t expect anything more right? Just saying. I value friendship more. Don’t get me wrong I still want my soulmate but if I can’t be my usual silly, immature, sarcastic and aggressively opinionated self while adding some dirty naughty talk, we can’t be friends like that. If you don’t understand me, we don’t need each other. All I asked for was a thong and get this, I got quite afew of those and my sexiness back. I fell inlove with myself again. In all honesty, I had stopped viewing myself that way because I wasn’t at peace with myself. I stopped being hard on myself. Hey, Njeri, you are just human.

Now, oh boy, I can’t get enough of myself. I am literally checking myself out while making those suggestive sounds of satisfaction in front of mirrors anywhere and everywhere to admire myself. If it were not for these masks, everyone would assume I have lost it. Am way too much.

God entrusted me enough to make a difference in someone’s life this year. I was just being my usual bubbly self full of positivity and somehow we got talking. Three days later I request for a ride and the same man on seeing me starts crying. Mis, you changed my life. I am quick to correct him. That wasn’t me, that was God and if that happened glory to God. I didn’t want to get details because I believe in this. Be kind and keep it moving. Don’t wait for remarks or rewards. Do Gods work and let God reward you in His own timing. Focus on your purpose. It was a Daniel year. The lions in the den symbolize danger thus the pandemic. Even in the presence of losing your life (business, going into depression) the king allowed it. God allowed it because He knew with you in it, He would glorify himself through you. It’s not the end. Let me take you to church. If God allows it, He is up to something bigger, better and greater. He had to do it to show them why you are built the way you are. See now, they can never question because they acknowledged that indeed there is a God. 2020 was about God.

That’s why He had to take away some of the blessings for us to recognize the BLESSER and not the blessed. Am I preaching to somebody? We had focused on less yet the GIVER has so much more to offer. That’s why I need and have to share with you  #MyMagazineThoughts

I am single not desperate

Now I understand how the more you spend time with someone, the fast you fall for them. I get this from men all the time. You scare me. Your thought process scares me because you know what you want. Am old fashioned where I never assume a man is hitting on me until am sure. Hello

I always say this and even though it comes across as arrogance I say it nevertheless. Please don’t fall for me. Something in me keeps awakening silent souls in men. They never quite tell me what it is but they always end up freaking me out. Walk out and walk in again. Gentlemen?

I am a very cautious lady. I never want to mislead any man especially one am not interested in. I don’t know what turns men on about me because I make zero to no effort compared to ladies out there. Visit any beauty spa then look at Njeri, dude am basic. What do you want from me? I avoid going on dates altogether because sadly in my head I already analyzed you based on our conversation. If you generalize me by throwing in the “you women” bullshit, I immediately switch off my brain and the silent treatment follows. Then you are automatically blocked. If you come off too full of yourself, gentlemen, you will be shut down. So you assume since I am celibate you will be the lucky man to God knows do what. See, creeps like you are the reason am celibate in the first place. You do nothing for my brain leave alone my entire body. No

I am single not desperate. You are not doing me any favors by either asking for my number or responding to any of my messages. Please, STOP! Understand this,I can play that dating around game until I exhaust all options. I don’t pay attention nor entertain men I am not interested in. It’s a choice. I wish men understood this. The same way you approach women is the same way men approach me. The only difference is, I don’t settle just because they are willing and available. I will neither waste your finances nor your time on meaningless connections. I lack such leisure.

I say all this because majority of the men who approach me, find me different. That’s what excites them but in real sense to be honest, they don’t want me. They don’t have what it takes to want and need me. It’s because what they go for rather are accustomed to is predictable. I am that honest with myself. I always serve myself the ugly truth. It’s the sad reality. There are serious men out there who are determined to not only be but stay in my life. See, I can only have one. Before that one gets me, I will be difficult as fuck unintentionally.

Who hurt you and if you have healed from that is my top priority in getting to know a man I like. Again, please don’t fall for me. The minute I notice you, I usually take my time to understand why I like you. Everything with me takes time especially with  #MyMagazineThoughts

Perhaps all you need is a thong

December darling,

My theme for 2020 was the year of the thong. All I wanted was a thong. My sexiness back. Actually the sexiest thing about me is not my confidence but my faith in God. I started praying naked before God. This is how sexy God got me 2020. I got to see myself how God sees me SEXY 🔥

Now that I know how dangerously beautiful God created me, I understood that not every man is worth me. You can’t serve two masters. You either please God and “upset others” or “please others” and upset God. Your choice.

It’s not just a thong, it symbolized anything I would wear going forth. I was born very confident and somehow being around afew wrong people made me question my God given strength and termed it as arrogance. Maybe if I toned it down, I would blend in. They would accept me.Now, I give people chances. I am open to understand but nevertheless not accommodate less than smart conversations unapologetically and it doesn’t make me a bad person. I am brave enough to ask for what I want without worrying if am asking for too much.I am equally humble enough to walk away from people who I have to explain myself to. 2020 made me realize that I have always had it, I just didn’t want to embrace it. And I have been ,with my words, actions and ambitions ever since  my birthday. Who knew?

All I needed 2020 was to be honest with myself. I freed myself from what should, would and could have been. I started focusing on the possibility of working with who, what and how I can improve myself. I admired, to I like and now I am obsessed with myself. I am fucking amazing.

You need to accept your sexiness. Maybe you don’t need another bank account or loan, you just need a new attitude but that has to come from you. Your insecurities always show when you are uncomfortable with yourself. Get comfortable with yourself. Perhaps all you need is a thong.

I know what you are thinking, damn Njeri we should be friends. Ask yourself this, are you ready for your soul to be set on fire? Or maybe you want to date me. Listen, is your heart ready to embrace madness at its best? You might just lose all sanity while trying to keep up.

At the end of this blog, I want you to get all fired up on yourself and start living life as if the year has just begun. I want you to fall madly inlove with yourself so much so that when others see you, they gravitate towards you. Indeed these are #MyMagazineThoughts