Hey, Njeri, you are just human

2020 has been an amazing year for me. The beginning of a new decade. I didn’t get blessings in double double (It’s a thing where I am from), humbling enough, each day was and still is a blessing. This is my self reevaluation. I am really excited. Welcome to #MyMagazineThoughts

Judging from what I post you can already tell I am very intentional in what I share. Encouraging is my thing. Not mostly to others but to myself. I believe that in loving yourself, you are able to love others back. Some would argue and say in helping others, you help yourself. There is what I had in mind even as open as I am yet there is what God brought to pass. I prefer His way over mine anytime. As long as I remind myself that God is my father I will never question His motives by allowing either good or bad things my way. He has got me like like that. In the past decade serving God wasn’t easy. I was still so much into my flesh that sometimes it got in the way of learning and seeing the beauty of His works and words. I just wanted the gift and not the giver. Clearly, God wasn’t changing his mind about me so I slowly changed.

This year, in as much as I have cried, I have laughed more. It’s where I can genuinely look back at those months and calmly admit, I am actually very okay. I have had a very good year simply because I let go of my expectations and allowed the will of God to be done in my life.To be honest, I don’t know who I have survived. I want to say suffice grace but in my humble opinion, I am here by the mercies of God. Not because I am worthy, goodness there are souls much more deserving. I don’t know why God loves me considering I have failed too many times. 2020 I have questioned less and obeyed more. To me I didn’t make sense. None of it did. But to the people I offered kindness with my words of comfort and few actions, it left me speechless. I am humbled.

My love life is better. Though still single I have learnt to express myself more. Am not afraid to state my intentions and speak my mind though in a considerate way without hurting the other persons feelings. It’s okay to be open yet still not settle for what you don’t want. See I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to change a man’s mind in thinking to myself maybe if I go on an actual date with him, he might just find me mind blowing. If your mind wasn’t blown  in our conversation(s) surely I shouldn’t expect anything more right? Just saying. I value friendship more. Don’t get me wrong I still want my soulmate but if I can’t be my usual silly, immature, sarcastic and aggressively opinionated self while adding some dirty naughty talk, we can’t be friends like that. If you don’t understand me, we don’t need each other. All I asked for was a thong and get this, I got quite afew of those and my sexiness back. I fell inlove with myself again. In all honesty, I had stopped viewing myself that way because I wasn’t at peace with myself. I stopped being hard on myself. Hey, Njeri, you are just human.

Now, oh boy, I can’t get enough of myself. I am literally checking myself out while making those suggestive sounds of satisfaction in front of mirrors anywhere and everywhere to admire myself. If it were not for these masks, everyone would assume I have lost it. Am way too much.

God entrusted me enough to make a difference in someone’s life this year. I was just being my usual bubbly self full of positivity and somehow we got talking. Three days later I request for a ride and the same man on seeing me starts crying. Mis, you changed my life. I am quick to correct him. That wasn’t me, that was God and if that happened glory to God. I didn’t want to get details because I believe in this. Be kind and keep it moving. Don’t wait for remarks or rewards. Do Gods work and let God reward you in His own timing. Focus on your purpose. It was a Daniel year. The lions in the den symbolize danger thus the pandemic. Even in the presence of losing your life (business, going into depression) the king allowed it. God allowed it because He knew with you in it, He would glorify himself through you. It’s not the end. Let me take you to church. If God allows it, He is up to something bigger, better and greater. He had to do it to show them why you are built the way you are. See now, they can never question because they acknowledged that indeed there is a God. 2020 was about God.

That’s why He had to take away some of the blessings for us to recognize the BLESSER and not the blessed. Am I preaching to somebody? We had focused on less yet the GIVER has so much more to offer. That’s why I need and have to share with you  #MyMagazineThoughts