Am secretly in denial

Have you ever been sure of something but ended up distrusting yourself in the process and you end up being right? You have an idea for this grand project and you know it would bring in millions but you end up ignoring the thought altogether then you come across someone who to you " stole your idea and ran with it" and now you end up feel worse than before because you had it all along? 

Learn to listen to that clear voice that immediately tells you to either wait or go for it and you will benefit greatly if not richly . 

You don't doubt that you are good but the thought of others rejecting the idea makes you secretly in denial of your own dreams and accomplishments. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

All new

Let us be real there is nothing ever new, it is just another way of appoaching life. No one ever wants to leave a comfortable way of life just to venture into the unknown.  Ofcourse not that is not only suicidal but considered broad daylight madness.  So we all stick to what we are familiar to but what happens when that gets old and you find yourself with wondering eyes?

You might purchase a new dress but we all know it is to serve the same purpose. The only thing you can change that we are all aware is your opinion. If you can change and stick to the new norm then maybe we can say you got yourself a new attitude. It's only new if those around you are buying into whatever it is that you are "selling". 

I sometimes hate having to write because it almost feels as though am repeating myself. Yeah, I have read that before or didn't she just write that a while back? So I will stop myself before any of you rudely confirms that.

I don't want to have dates set because I always compromise later on. I am onto something and no it doesn't involve a man or woman.  It is just seeing how far I can go without having to worry about someone who is no longer in my life. Like I am the kind to worry from miles away even when we are not in talking terms with another human being. Am a strange species and I am trying my level best to let life unfold without having ulcers and uncalledfor wrinkles over caring. Yes, I care way too much. I am a work in progress ..........

And that is my #RealityCheck

Last weeks gift

The best gift a father can give his daughter is not buying her a new car or walking her down the aisle towards the man of her dreams but rather him giving her the key to unlocking life. 

I am talking about you know the way your parents are your second God so true by the way because last week I didn't have it in me to write or inspire anyone. I was just in my own female cave  where I was okay with the same old routine. 

My father is my biggest fan. He calls me his Sarakasi daughter and at times insists that am the son he always wanted through his actions. He already has three so why would he need a fourth one? In the eyes of my father am a jack of all traits. There is nothing his little girl can't do. She is his lawyer, his chef when mum  is having a lioness moment you know that not now and everyone lets her be *hahahahaha* sorry mummy! 

Most of all he tells everyone of how am a visonary and how they should listen to what I always say. I am sorry I had to take a moment to compose myself. The little things to me are the ones that matter. He believes in me so much that at times I wonder what he sees the future holds for his little girl. 

My father brings out the dreamer in me. He laughs whenever I share my unrealistic make belief but he never brings me down. He may laugh but he listens and always ends up saying Amen it will come to pass. That humbles me. 

It's like he knew I was having a slow day so he went grabbed his bible and gave me a word and insisted that if God did that for one of his servants who prayed earnestly he will do the same for me. And so at first I say there and thought yeah yeah yeah, same old dad trying to encourage me but then it hit me. I don't believe in coincidences so this must have a deeper meaning. Long story short, what I have been praying for almost one year changed with a simple dad given word and today my prayer was answered. 

It's silly to everyone else but God knows that my silly is what gets me on my knees. It's a gift passed on to me by my best friend and now I hope that person gets to enjoy it as much I always do everytime I do it. It is a blind devotion 

And that is my #RealityCheck

Answered prayers

This is just a thank you note to the love of my life. I always tell myself or imagine that the one for me is my biggest fan when it comes to my shenanigans aka art of writing so darling I will always adore you but God will always be first. 

It has been one of those weeks where you feel you have what it takes but still nothing is looking up. I have had nothing but faith as far as my answered prayers go. You know you love something or someone when you want the best them even if it's not you. You only get to show you care from miles away because deep down you know what they are going through because at one point you were down that road. 

When you are faithful to your prayers and persist knowing deep down its not to benefit yourself but those around you, it takes a while. At times it becomes frustrating. The more you pray the worse things become or so it seems but if you have a heart of a lion not willing to be shaken by the immediate or the lack of change in the natural surely you will come out victorious. 

I don't mind that God did not have to use me to change that situation around but am glad he entrusted me with this heartfelt assignment and now I can't seem to thank God enough. It feels unreal even though my heart is glad. 

I am thankful and will forever live to remember this answered prayer and moment. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

My Saturday 7pm

All around us, we find motivation if not reason to either stop take in the moment or walk on if not away no giving it a second look. Today, I choose to stop and  allow my mixed emotions and fear have the best of me. The more I zoom in back and forth, fast forward and rewind, I realize that I don't even need to read to ask questions. I am pretty good at that but like I confessed, tonight am all about what is being presented before my very own eyes. 

I have just realized that when on a farm the more you dig a hole the more you are likely to dig deeper and you will probably end up hollow like the hole you dug. While we are all under the illusion that the deeper you go the deeper the roots will go but that is not entirely true. Sometime all you need is to uncover the warm soil beaneath the surface and the nutrients are right there. So by digging deeper on one hand you are covering what you already need and you end up frustrated.  On the other hand you end up worn out and the seed in mind ends up being buried in unfertile soil. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

Amazingly strange

It's amazing how God can use the least expect situation and person to get you to where you are supposed to be. When something is meant to be, God will make a way somehow for you first of all to be interested and for you to be there. 

Have you ever heard of all you have to do is wake up and breathe and I will take it from there, well that is what I am experiencing at the moment. I have got to admit God has me laughing and smiling. I should be mad and feel anything else but not what I am feeling. 

Have you even been faced with a situation that instead of questioning you just sit there like okay. It's not that am uncertain I inow what is about to happen but I don't want to admit it, not just yet. Am waiting to see how it unfolds. 

And that is my #RealityCheck

When you can no longer run

What happens when you come face to face with the one thing you have been running from? See my guess is, you can choose to look the other way or sit there and be silent. But what if it's in line with your destiny. Some of you have out grown you dreams because they took too long to become a reality. I get that but answer me this, were you given a time frame like the exact date it would happen and still didn't happen? So why are you still mad? 

Dreams are like prophesies. Some would even conclude and say you can not be prophesied unless at one point in your life  you dreamt about it. You know that thing deep down that you keep brushing off like please that would never happen and of all the people me? That is the one am talking about. 

You can run and even hide but you can't postpone timing. They say the timing has to be right sure but see your timing and its timing are two differ things. Tell me this, why is it that when you want to be in a relationship like no one absolutely and I mean no one even approaches you. But when you are determined to focus on your life what's left of it *we all think it* the proposals overwhelm you like an unseen tornado. 

There is no such thing as the perfect timing. When it happens it will happen all on its in. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

Who takes care of you?

You are always busy taking care of everyone else but who takes care of you? My sweet October.  How I have longed for you like a young bride awaits her big day.

A new month, a new opportunity,  new friends, new love and new adventurs.  There is so much to look forward to.

I don't mind having to take care of everyone else but has anyone ever walked up to you and asked who takes care of you superman/woman?

It is okay to let people down and find rather make time for yourself.  If God is the only one who you could say is always taking care of you, then you need to let down the caring party and start living your life not having to feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

And that is my #RealityCheck.