It was all you ever wanted

Let’s talk about men who keep asking and wondering why ladies leave whenever you have financial crisis or you stop making that much money. Ever heard of it takes one to know one? If you dated her for her looks or she fit in your lifestyle, she only stuck around for just that.

You recall that girl who you ignored because somehow she wasn’t your type? What girl Njeri? How could you after all, with everyone else around? Allow me to take you back. Not before you went temporarily out of cash but before you got your big break. Do you remember any of it? How determined  you were to make something and a name for yourself. How you worked hard and the determination that made everyone believe you would make it against all odds. Do you remember at night how you dreamt and actually used to prayed about it? It was all you ever wanted. 

Until you got it and ever better.

And then suddenly the world was jealous of your success. Honest to God I don’t even know why am blogging this but I feel like someone is taking out the blame on everyone else but themselves. You made those choices. You did and not everyone else.

Why are you angry now? You got what you wanted. You lived it up. You got your opportunity and took it. It looked good on you. You had the world at your feet. You didn’t even have to ask as life presented you with various endless possibilities which you embraced head on.

The same way life took off for you is the same way it did with the rest of us though differently. Some people will never take advice from people who are not of their class or don’t look a certain way. I wish the world knew how classy humility is. Don’t live your life waiting for people to sympathize or feel sorry for you by throwing in the victim card because at some point it will get old. See I have been there but unlike you I kept feeling sorry for myself for years yet it did nothing for me financially.

Njeri, I want them to like me? The next time you walk into a mall or banking hall, the way that guard treats will tell you exactly how valuable or irrelevant you are. That guard doesn’t owe you loyalty because they don’t know you at all. Guards represent how strangers view you. You remember that girl I was asking you about? The one who never once asked about your finances and always gave you the ugly truth, she is still around. Not the same way you left her but like you she made choices of her own. 

Hey,don’t look for her because you might not recognize her.

She decided to pursue a life of her own doing the things she is actually good at blogging, watching basketball, encouraging others with afew curse words as is expected *laughing*. Every man has a Njeri, just not this one. But if so ops! my bad #LetsFallInLove Let’s 💜 baibèé

Don’t be discouraged.

I spent so much money purchasing expensive products for my face. Before anything else please pray the same way you would for a job or family. Dedicate your face and then throw everything away and listen to what your gut feeling tells you. I haven’t been to a dermatologist since.

No one knows your body and skin better than you do. You have had it your entire life for Pete’s sake. You can heal your entire body by undoing what you have been doing. You already know what to do when something goes off, right? That tells me you are smart enough to figure it out. You may not have my kind of faith but take my word for it. You just need to improve on your hygiene and am not suggesting you are not clean enough. You are. The word here is dedication. You need to do more and the more you get the hang of it, the less it will cost you. How much time do you have? If you want instant results, it will cost you more and I can guarantee at some point it will leave you more frustrated than before. I have done it all. Expensive facials, international specialized natural products , micro needling to almost considering a chemical peel. I have said this before and I will say it again desperation is a bitch. You will do almost anything and everything to achieve better results. At some point I ever considered breaking my celibacy as I heard being sexually active improves the skin. DESPERATION!!!

The same way we all use different body products and even diets is the same way we have different skin types. It may look the same but trust me we are different. Normal, sensitive, oily, dry, combination doesn’t necessarily mean problematic or lack of. Sometimes you have good days and bad days. It’s the same with the skin. That’s why I decided on a personal level not to act on everything you see and hear. Some products are just out here to make profits and some people on social media are promoting some of these products to feed themselves. Imagine there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just wish before I did some of these ridiculous purchases they would throw in a disclaimer. Oh and by the way I don’t use the product on a daily basis am just marketing it. My skin is actually fantastic in person. I wish they would share that.

The day I realized I was on the wrong and the problem for not doing my due diligence on the products, I started appreciating myself more. Until you get what works for you, keep researching. Even when you find what works don’t be comfortable. Don’t give up. Don’t be discouraged.

My only advice is this. What body lotion do you use on the rest of your body? Does it work? What if I told you if you used the same company and purchased their face products you are halfway to achieving your results? Good things take time #LetsFallInLove Let’s 💜 baibèé

Only God can surprise me.

Coming into this new year, I was scared not necessarily about the actual year but I didn’t know how to go further with myself. Matters that are beyond me don’t bother me but things within my reach trouble my overthinking mind. Good morning lovebirds. Looks like am blogging, okay.

When you hang out with people who are naturally smart, their smartness starts to rub off on you. I am more relaxed. I am allowing myself to ignore as opposed to worrying about non issues that bear me no fruits. I am very selfish with my energy. Am learning to listen to myself. I am open to any and all possibilities but am not wasting my time waiting around idle. I am dreaming more. Dreams slow me down by showing me what and who is important and what’s to come. What to expect. In a way, am always ready. Only God can surprise me.

This is a different year for me. I feel different. I am different. I can feel and see it. I have become it. I have embraced it. If it comes in a less package, am happy and patient enough to wait for the right package. If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not right. It’s not that I don’t care, I just don’t have it in me any longer. If I want it, I will get it. If I can’t afford it, I will not settle for the second best. I will prepare myself to get to a point where I can afford it without struggling and appreciate it.

I am so close to achieving my dreams I can almost taste the fruits of my labor.

I am not going to allow anyone to talk me out of it and by anyone I mean myself. God has brought me a long way and I had lost sight of that by looking at what I currently don’t have. Shame on me.

I am attracted and drawn to greatness. Simply because I have this one constant question, “My God how do you stay that grounded?” How do I stay grounded even without? How do I conduct myself with so much blessings? Will I still be Njeri true to God and myself at the end of it all?

Sometimes if am being honest, lack excites me. Atleast that way I can evaluate myself and gladly conclude that I haven’t changed my personality and character. I have improved. What if in the presence of more? More and great are on their way #LetsFallInLove Let’s 💜 baibèé

Am single but good

Good Morning on this cold day. I know everyone is talking about Valentine’s Day and am not one to shy away considering am a sucker for kind gestures, romance and love. Am happy for everyone who has found love. Am not here for you though. I am here for the hopeful and single.

I don’t know about you but am thankful 2021 that Valentine’s Day is on a Sunday. Hallelujah, Praise God. Let me just confirm so that am not getting excited just to be disappointed. Yup! Sunday it is. Valentine’s Day is the worst day to reflect on your life. What am I doing wrong? Is it that I don’t have enough exposure or not putting myself out there by attending THE events? Hard questions here. How can I be doing everything right yet at the end of the day it feels wrong? Why is it not adding up? Since am not the problem, what is? What’s missing?

That would have been the old me. Frustrating myself in deep thoughts trying to figure out how I got here. I am amused at myself in all honesty. If the theme for 2021 was Valentine’s Day, I wouldn’t be bothered much. I would be concerned for the unnecessary attention but hey, okay. I am so sorry but I don’t give a fuck. Heck am celibate so am not even expecting anyone to give or offer a goddamn fuck. I don’t even know of places where people are serving fucks. You do whatever you have to do to survive but be sure no one gives an actual fuck about your life.

To everyone who is single out there, don’t feel discouraged or pressured to hook up with less than smart people just to fit in. There is a reason you are single in the first place. If there is anyone who knows what they want in life right now is a single person. We know where to find what. Just ask me. I know. Don’t ever joke with anyone who has taken their time to date themselves. People who are not afraid to take a step back and reflect, reevaluate and reconstruct themselves? That is genius at its best.

If you are so amazing Njeri, how comes no man wants you? 

Has it ever occurred to you that am actually the one rejecting these men and the little that they have to offer?  Has it ever lingered in your mind that perhaps an ready but the timing is off? It’s not Gods will yet. I still have to wait because am not where God wants me to be for Him to bring and deliver my soulmate to me. What if what you want is not locally available? What if you don’t have the resources to get there? What if you can’t identify who it is? Look at it from that angle people. All this to say, by all means you do what you have to 2021, just don’t expect me to be part of it. Like I told myself on my birthday blog which you should read, if it’s not in line with what I want or where am headed, I humbly decline. Am single but good. Am okay with myself.

This month of love, it’s just a single day and not the rest of your life. Don’t allow one day dictate the rest of the year for you. If you are feeling it single people then go with it but if you aren’t, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that or you for that matter. Incase you don’t have anyone to remind you of how fucking remarkable you are, read my blogs. Do I read my own blogs, are you kidding me? If this is it was a person, sweetheart am it. I am enchanted and captivated by my choice of words and my thought process. Who even writes that? Don’t end your life over a red petal when you can own a freaking garden of roses. It’s bad enough we are all struggling in one way or another but straining yourself to save face, this is where we draw the line and reject such bullshit. NO! Even you know, you are better than that.

Understand, you aren’t meant to be alone but sometimes being alone becomes a necessity. Be fabulously or miserably single. Your choice. It’s on Sunday so get cozy and watch a movie. Stay open and hopeful but don’t postpone being happy #LetsFallInLove Let’s 💜 baibèé

This is me manifesting

To my soulmate. Perhaps we have met but my heart tells me, I have never laid my eyes on you and that’s what makes me desire you even more. I have poor memory or so I tell myself. See years ago, I asked God to give me the heart of a man. I was tired of being angry all the time.

I love God and men. Listen, am single so I can’t say a man nor be specific as there is no one special or rendering me sleepless at night. Though currently I have two international basketball players I have crushes on. Unfortunately, when I have a crush on a man or gentlemen, I don’t take them seriously. They are just eye candy. To remind me that am still in the game and if I wanted I would but I don’t. I didn’t know that in taking matters lightly I would end up having amnesia. I don’t recall what I had on yesterday and to my surprise, I don’t care. Half the time you will find me studying myself through and through. I need to understand myself fully and utilize my full potential. Is it that am crazy or heartless? Turns out am neither. There is a method to my madness. Only I know why I did what I did and I will never explain

I choose to be nice but am not nice. If am not busy dreaming, I will check men out. When I like a certain man, he always teaches something new about myself. Different men bring out different sides of me. There are those in admiring them, I find myself improving spiritually and others provoke the naughty side of me. Though there was this one whom I liked with such intensity so much so he led me to believe you exist and worth the wait. In liking him, it made me realize how much I love and am inlove with myself.

Sometimes God will send people in your life to wake up and stir the gift, passion and purpose in you to get you to where you are supposed to be. In liking him I knew there was so much love in me that I kept hidden from others and myself.

That’s when I knew I was ready to not only love but receive that love back. Not with him but you. Am ready for that kind of love. Am ready for an adventure with you. I have liked but I want much more. This is me manifesting #LetsFallInLove Let’s 💜 baibèé

I have to say YES

I haven’t been avoiding or uninspired to blog, it’s just that I have been paying close and more attention to myself. 2021, I am my own top priority. I have shared endless testimonies and self experience stories of struggling, pain, lack and how the wait is hard.

So, what happens when you start to get afew good breaks? Oh, when things are bad I have all the encouragement and motivational quotes and words to land you on the moon. And when things are fine, I shut down. I tend to freeze. I don’t know how to behave. I am speechless.

Perhaps it’s just me but when I get good breaks I cry alot. I am slowly trying to understand why that is. Is it because in all honesty, I was just hoping for things to look up but never quite believed they really would? I need to stop robbing myself of such happy moments. In comes the mother of all questions, why do I have a hard time being happy? I am used to relying on myself. It’s not that they (others) are asking me to rely on them but rather let them in or better yet the care they are offering me. Before I can change my mind, I have to say YES

The hardest thing I am teaching myself this year is to say yes and mean it. The only way I will learn is by putting myself out there. Saying yes to the things that I have been praying and asking for. Yes to things I silently thought to myself where far out of my reach. Not everyone deserves a yes and not everything deserves a no. If it’s in line with who I am and where I desire to be, that deserves a hold crap yes! I can’t be unhappy without it and still be worried  with it. I can’t say I trust God and walk around worried. Clearly, I am lying.

What’s the need of living a life full of anxiety?

Finding a balance is hard. I have had years of practice when it comes to self discipline. 2021, is about applying all those skills. Allow me to ask you this? How do you behave when God answers your prayers with your dream spouse, job, house, car, body or when you get your health back? How is one supposed to act? It feels strange at first. Mixed emotions all over. We always say we are open until that miracle show up. When you wake up the next day and realize it wasn’t a fantasy or imagination? It is real? Maybe like me, you are trying to convince yourself it’s just a lucky break which will take things back to normal but they won’t . Things are getting better. Sometimes when you pray and wait long enough, things start to happen and change. I am as confused as you are with this blog.

All I can say is, #LetsFallInLove Let’s 💜baibèé . God is out here giving and blessing generously.