Monday focus

I love challenges.  Having to stick around when everyone else looks for an easier way out forces you to be alert. I don't have a back up plan I never do but I always find myself improvising. Most people would give up after a few trials but not me especially if am gut invested. 

I want to be legendary not necessarily leave my mark on this planet but I want to be remembered as the lady who always went for it hard. At first we though she was crazy seeing as no one else tried it but we admired her courage and determination.  Someday I want my kids to be proud of me. I don't want to be first lady not that I can't be but the fact that I stand by what I believe in at times alone and never give up is enough to know that them carrying my blood will survive.

You loose people when you don't have a trend of thought. You are powerful when you focus but the question is what are you focusing on? Don't let ego drive you off your focus. You can't gave new blessings with old order

And that is my #RealityCheck

Lost And Found Sunday

Sometime you have to loose yourself inorder for you to find what you are looking for. I love it when am corrected but let's be honest who knew I was messing up in the first place. Damn it. Friends. You need them but sometimes a reality check is not what you want to be served by your bestie.

After watching Kung'Fu panda III and rewatching dead pool *am the ultimate spinster* it got me thinking. Tough love is good especially when it's coming from someone you respect and care about. How do you become your own master?

When you stop overthinking and trying to live up to others expectations that's when it all comes to you. It adds up. It makes sense. The only person you are good at is yourself so you don't teach others how to be you or try to be them but rather teach them how to use what they already have and know about themselves.

Am no writer but when I air my words out loud I feel as though I can make a difference. I talk alot and text long speeches which can be a bad thing at times but that is what makes me me. That is how I found myself and what I was looking for. Through words and writing.

And that is my #RealityCheck

My Easter Lesson

We all know of the betrayal of Jesus. And this is my own conclusions from what I learn from the story.  Jesus being the son of God was a big deal. I mean he came to save mankind so in as much as you and I are made in the image of God, we will never be as a bigger deal as Jesus was so learn to be fine with who you are.

Let's get to the juicy part shall we. Jesus being the Messiah he was betrayed and yet we always act as though we don't deserve to be betrayed.  You will be especially if you are good. In as much as Jesus was the sone of God he was brought up in a humble way. They called him the son of a carpenter. People tried to put him in his place everytime he "broke the rules". By this I mean most of us were not privileged to be raised with diamonds and pearls and for the men rolex and Bentley but in you going out of the "poverty circle" people always want to remind you of who they knew you by and not who you are destined to be. I feel like preaching .

If Jesus came in form of a spirit then today you and I would not relate but him being human and enduring what we all go through at one point in life be it false accusations or serving a purpose higher than those around you makes it easier for us to understand that this too shall pass. He tried praying it away and just like you and I sometimes we only want the good and the best. We find ourselves praying out if not painful seasons away. But just like Jesus we all have to face the very same situation you are struggling with. 

Jesus knew that Judas would betray him. Not because Judas was an evil man or maybe he was but the bigger picture is there are people in our lives who always take the easy way out. They will only be present in your life when the going is good but the minute they get someone with more influence,  power and money they will willingly if not gladly bite the hand that feeds them. What amazes me is that it's never a stranger but rather someone who knows you all to well who never gives a second thought to betray you.

This Easter go back to the drawing board. You don't have to to have a migraine overthinking who in the world would do this. Keep your circle small. If by now gentlemen all you do is go out and have a good time with this bromance but he never adds any value in your life and chances are other men can't stand him please do the following. 1. Get rid of that He-She.  That is a female trapped in a man's body and he secretly wishes to be you so no you are not dealing with a human being but a psychopath.  2. Act broke for a week. See who cares enough to call or go the extra mile for you then keep them. Ladies if you don't share the same dreams with your so called girlfriends drop them like they are hot. They could be with you because they want someone you already have or think they can be a prettier younger version of you.

People change. Some in a good ways while others well just let them leave. If by now 2016 you can predict the people in your life and am not talking about family but there are things and people in your life you have to let go and not because they are bad but because just like Jesus you have have been discerning that you need to change .

Sometimes you have to betray the old you to discover the new you. Be your own Judas.

And that is my #RealityCheck

Silly thoughts

Why did I block you in the first place? The answer we all use when we don't want to cut people short with some tough love. I don't know. ...just... Unlike having to say it face to face how about I write why we end up blocking people.  Simple because your ass was ungrateful.  Am I right or am I right?

I write think *I write as I think and thanks to typo I mess up sometimes if not all the time and no I don't read what I write* . At first the shenanigans are cute but later on it gets old. When you find yourself thinking like why won't this person grow up that is when you realise you have grown up. Not mature calm down but the person is no longer as juicy as they used to be. The other truth is you end up liking them and everytime they fall short of your expectations you find them immature. Am right ain't I? 

Sometimes you block people to keep them out. Some in their stalkerish ways need to be in mental institutions. Other times you just want to mess with their psychology.  Let me see if they care enough to notice or miss me. I don't want you thinking that my life revolves around you and no am not waiting for you to fix your sorry excuse for a life. You have so many people thinking about you so today how about they take it from there coz I believe someone else out there needs me *blocked* Hey am just being honest here.

Afew times you just want to be left alone. You feel as though everyone expects so much from you that you end up blocking them out just to survive.  It was either you or going insane so bye! On that note some block others out because they just don't know what to do with their lives. I have so much to offer but am not sure if it's you to offer it to.  Very few block others because they remind them of who they used to be. Like I don't live in the past or am not that person anymore.

Personally I block people because am easily bored. I don't have time for friend - enemies like let's leave the acting to professionals. If you are not going to add any value please don't be upset if I don't string you along. I no longer invest. As a matter of fact please be mad and cause a scene or two ...the dramatic effect always gives me the chance to read my unwritten award winning speech in my head , "I always knew it".

So feel free this beautiful hot Monday morning to block out one or two toxic people who you have been secretly tolerating just to save face. I respect the art of kissing but no one likes a kiss ass.

And that is my #RealityCheck

March Much Reality

What happens when life serves you a middle finger stage. By that I mean you are not only stuck but all you can do is pull a fudge it line. Love to me is more of a job. All your life you work hard or cheat your way up and then fate decides whether you look for a job or the right job finds you.

Most people who use words like am at Jobo instead of am at work to me come off as jerks.  They try too hard. You want to sound important and chances are they believe they are important than their friends and deserve not only a good paycheck but a higher position. Not to worry, such people end up jobless.  Funny thing is they always find a way to mess themselves up. I gave done my research. You don't believe me, then ask around if they even applied for the job in the first place.  They come in highly recommended only to end up costing the company. 

These are the very same people who tweet or always complain of how they hate their work, can't wait to leave and when am I being paid. If my research is as true as I write then allow me to go deeper. Their love lives suck. Again anything you need to know about them is on social media ....I don't like feeling like am good enough , uploading wedding gowns to hint that it's time to settle down and refer to their spouses as boys or idiots *giggles* Don't get me wrong, I find this really entertaining.  Like oh no he didn't .... Gal stop .... write more .... I want more hahahahahahaha . I should stop. 

Why a job? Because you are rewarded according to how you perform.  You don't look for love rather it finds you. Depending on how you treat that man or woman the way they treat you tells alot about the relationship.  How do you give up on your own company if you are not passionate about your work? Same case applies to your love life. Why do you stick around? For the exposure, experience , love or money?  Or is it because you have no where better to go?

Now that we are on the same middle finger boat what do you do? Keep investing or shut it down? How do you chase the wind when you don't even know which direction it's blowing towards or how do you give up on something/someone who you can't face tomorrow without?

And that is my #RealityCheck

Saturday inspiration

We never grow up instead we grow in love. I recall when I was in high school and all I ever wanted secretly was to be the perfect girlfriend in the real world. I was a loner but in my own world I belonged. Writing kept me sane and busy. Am glad my bestfriend and Romeo encouraged me to work on my blog. By now if you are reading this you should know you are Romeo.

The perfect relationship is not where you go watch a movie , say all the right words and match up each others style or ego. To me the perfect man is the one I can be myself with. Sorry to disappoint you ladies and gentlemen but I have already met my Romeo. The beauty about this kind of a man is that he let's me be me. No this is no love story.  As I write this please note that I lost his number a year ago. I don't even need it . See we have our own language.  If I want to 'stalk' him I know where to find him. It's not stalking *laughing sheepishly* am just checking up on a brother *giggles*. He gets me not all of me but part of me the part especially I thought I had well hidden.

I don't have to try so hard with him. Am not saying that I barely dress up ofcourse not although according to him secretly he has yet to meet the sophisticated lady side of me. He has seen the tomboy side that enjoys animations and according to him am the only female he knows who knows more about cars. Still doubting if it's you, it's YOU! He has met the serious lady focused in everything that she does and even at one point he asked that I make time for him. That was sweet of him.

The truth is we were friends and hopefully still are but what we have is both dangerously beautiful yet scaring. He has an ego as huge as the bus of one tree hill and I let's just say am the queen of my castle.  I don't think he ever noticed or ever notices but he is the only man who calms me down. I am good at hiding how I feel but I can't hide it long enough whenever he is around so I distract myself with either music or someone else. I hardly make eye contact because then my vulnerability would be written in my eyes. I am a soldier and showing a sign of weakness is not allowed in my books.

I can't even bring myself to hate leave alone be mad at him for more than a day. Goodness!  I am his biggest and anything he would invest in I would 100% support without doubt. Why am I still single people ask.I would tell you but then you wouldn't understand. I am inlove and my heart is contented.  I once heard that these young people will never know the true meaning of love and they will never get to experience half of it. I don't need to walk down the aisle because deep down his love feels like each day I am a newly wed and this love motivates me to better myself and those around me. I don't need a ring because I already found true love and if fits like a glove in my warm yet so eagerly awaiting heart. I don't need a white Cinderella gown because giving back just requires a humble and yet willing heart. My faded jeans and T-shirt will do. I don't need glass slippers.  Have you seen the weather lately? In this heat glass seriously *laughs* . I don't need a crown after all I have the best accessory money can't buy my priceless smile .

Baibèé 🐝 🐝 your middle name is fine but I wear my first name with pride and honour because it reminds me of who I am and I am meant to be everyday. And that is my #RealityCheck

With obedience comes sacrifice

Ask anyone who has ever served God when they were young and they will tell you the truth. The ugly truth. You don't have a say that just sums it up. His will always wins. It feels like going to war and being attacked . Just when you thought a bullet to the chest wasn't bad enough it gets worse.  The doctor walks in and says you have cancer and they are forced to amputate both legs. Just as you are recovering you happen to hear him say that you have liver failure and your lungs are shutting down.

Like I said ask anyone who knows the Lord well and they will narrate a horror story with a comic effect. It doesn't get better, it gets worse. See you are so used to doing and getting things done your way until he breaks your pattern. Being human we all have a system that helps rather stops us from going mad. If he is going to do things his way no doubt the process will leave you feeling like you lost. It looks that way and it even feels that way because being human we expect instant results. It's either yes or no. With God he always leaves you guessing. He is always full of suprsises.  If he took his time to create this beautiful universe how about you and I the ones he made in his likeness. Time is all he had.

The one God-human disease we all suffer from is waiting. For what? So most have compromised and the rest have rebelled.  I was shocked to learn of a legible bachelor who openly confessed that the reason why God was punishing him was because he was living with his girlfriend prior to his promise to God to wife the woman he loves the right way. By the right way I mean in church.

No one wants a breakthrough at fifty then die at fifty one. How unfair can life be. We all want to eat the fruits of our labour and yet some of you greedy humans just want a taste of someone else's hard work. Please keep your hands and legs where I can see them. Can I be honest majority of the people who use #YouOnlyLiveOnce are fed up loosing and just want in on the action. It doesn't matter where the party is as long as they are invited. Honey have a cactus on me and sit down.

It takes time. Good things usually do. I am not talking about being a saint lands you the dream job but discipline ,hard work and staying true to your calling will cause God bless you even when it's not your season. Look at your life right now. Where is everyone you started out with? Your bestfriends then now not so best or friends. Did you change your dream to earn the title "Accomplished" or are you wondering what happened to you as everyone else got what was theirs?

It is never what is seems. People have mastered and perfected faking it till you make it. Why is it that people who have achieved so much look neglected while those barely making it yo the door earn the title ma'am and Sir.  They try too hard or isn't that what you choose to say to make yourself feel better? It's favour.  God's favour.  That is why mist educated men and women are employed and those with no degrees are the ones dictating your salaries.  Papers and beauty are of no use when it comes to God. He looks deep within the same way ladies when we see a very good looking man with an average looking lady and we think he can do better. He was not fascinated by beauty and no its not because he hadn't met your arrogant, self centered and shallow self.

I respect men who chase women with character and personality. If you want the best you have to sacrifice.  When God decides to bless you he doesn't need people's opinions. It doesn't matter if you are ratchet or a self proclaimed saint when it's your time to change baby, you are not ready. We can escape it all thanks to technology but we can't outsmart and outrun God.

And that is my #RealityCheck