Please,Stalk Me

Why are people not honest. Listen, Sir, please, stalk me. Stalk the 💩 out of me but don’t come at me with half the offer. Not that anyone is asking 🤣 but I am not the coffee kind of lady. ‬I need not remind you but that’s why I am blessed with a stomach. Sir, with the kind of worms I occasionally have, let’s give them something to be upset over.

Make me believe you that you really thought this through. You want to impress me right? Then speak my language or better yet meet me half way. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or though it’s Njeri we are talking about so it must be Njerified. Affordable yet very sophisticated. In other words romantic.

I don’t expect you to order a ten thousand meal per plate only to be served a leaf and soup. What sorcery is this? So assuming someone asks me out on a date, the person asking me out determines how I will dress. Ofcourse am showing up with jeans on. Don’t expect me in a dress gentleman(gentlemen) because my body is currently under construction. I am not that wealthy to have surgery or fortunate enough to hire a personal trainer. I am thankful for YouTube and all the home exercises out there.

As much as I love salads, this is not survivor. I will not survive on water and greens only. Offer me something to remember you by. Make it hard for me to want to go out with anyone else other than you. Let me choose you through your actions and not by default. I will blog on what it takes to go out with a man but for now am assuming you already won me over with your intelligence. Having agreed to go out with you only means my expectations are even higher. I am going to monitor your every move and google everything you tell me. Basically, it feels like a board meeting. At this particular moment the worst mistake would be for him to ask what am thinking. Honestly, my mind is tearing you apart but my heart is rooting for you. My heart hardly ever wins so ummm good luck!

I don’t mind going on a date because I am 99.9% sure we will have a blast. It’s the 0.1% after that in most cases in my own humble opinion makes it easier to not go in the first place. He will end up doing something silly or stupid proving my mind right and I end up resentful towards him. It’s not me, it’s you.

When was the last time someone else other than myself took me out rather asked me out and I accept? I don’t recall the year leave alone the person *laughing quietly to myself*. Am I open? The Aquarius lady in me wants to write hell no will capital letters but the kindness in me in almost a whisper is like,”It depends”. Final answer.

Well, there you have it gentlemen, a glimpse of a #RealityCheck date with me. If you happen to read this and you find yourself smiling, gentleman I believe you owe me a date and if you happen to be a lady as flattered as I would be, just copy and paste it. This blog could be your link to relationship (laughing sheepishly). Thank me later by sending me an invitation card to your wedding.

Hugs and kisses..... NOT!