we are all looking for a connection

It’s Saturday. I know you know what day of the week it is. Am not going to blog. I have just woken up. Am in an honest state of mind. I will never lie to myself like that. This is not liar liar. Am not Fletcher Reede. No more excuses. I guess am blogging then. I am extremely cautious when it comes to how I present myself. I carry myself as a very ethical lady atleast that’s what I think am putting out there most of the time. So when men come onto me in a sexual manner am offended.

This is what I have come to realize about myself. When I really like a gentleman, I dress down. Am more comfortable in jeans, vest and sneakers. My party has never been on the outside. It’s always on the inside. Let that sink in. You figure it out. Am not going to expound. Am not a man. I don’t know what goes on in the minds of men. From the few strands of hair on my head to my satanic toes, ain’t no one is created like me out there. I have sarcastic answers for everything. Even when I say I don’t know, trust me, I know.

We are all looking for a connection. The type of connection where you don’t have to say much for the other to understand. That bestfriend and soulmate rare bond where you think alike. Feel each others pain and always know what to say to get through life.

So when a random man tells me on meeting me the first or second time am sexy that throws me off. Am a basic dresser and come off as one of the guys with a different honest opinion. How is that sexy? Sexy in my female humble opinion is making an effort. I stopped making an effort. Gentlemen, what kind of vibe are you picking from me? I don’t understand why every man I meet on saying hi eventually turns it into a sexual thing. Where am I going wrong? There was this guy, this one was not okay in the head. He took it upon himself to call me. It was work related then he followed it up with a text. Check your WhatsApp only to find erotic pictures of himself with a caption,”Do you like it? Is it big enough for you?” I threw up a little in my mouth and threw my phone in the dustbin. I think when I got home, I cried. I didn’t understand why I was attracting mannerless pricks. I hate confrontations especially from a less than smart person which was devastating. I never led nor attracted him so why was life sending me unfair situations.

Some people struggle with self esteem, am always fighting off mannerless men. The more rude I am the more determined they become. So I decided to flip the script and be cautiously nice. Story of my life turned to  #MyMagazineThoughts