Focus On Now

Self motivation is hard especially if you are the creative kind. Every now and then we want to feel encouraged not necessarily by the good book *bible* or people who have been there but a different kind of inspiration. 

Men and women of God are good for the spiritual fulfillment but sometimes even when you don't want to admit it, you want that emotional touch if not a financial miracle. 

Now that we are in the festive season there is so much to work and deal with. The most affected areas during this time of the year are the emotional and financial aspects. They both drain you directly and indirectly. I don't know about you but I want to shop until I drop. The only question I want to be asked is; "Ma'am how may I serve you?"

I want to save and reward myself both at the same time. So I am coming up with a budget that I will hopefully stick to. Forget New Years resolutions am focusing on now. I will work with what I have and not what I hoped to have and see if I can make a #RealityCheck out of it. 

Sounds crazy doesn't it? Well if it wasn't, I wouldn't be the lady for the job so let me work on it and let you know how it unfolds. 

Seasons greatings checkmates 

My testimony. .. My One Day

Anyone who knows me knows that there is nothing rushed about my faith. I am a fool for God. Now don't think that just because I am a believer or Christian it guarantees that I will abandon my faith and live life the way society wants. I am a rebellious and ratchet fool who will show up minutes later but will get the job done.

Where do I begin? Have you ever lowered your standards just to fit in the humble cycle? To just belong for a season see how life is like from that 'humble' perspective? I did that mistake but knowing myself it wasn't a mistake but a learning experience. I went for something I didn't want but the mistake was I prayed and asked God to give me the grace for it. Listen, don't weigh God down with your downgrades EVER. I should have prayed for world peace but having a stubborn spirit I wanted God to break any better mentality I may or might have adopted along the way.

I also asked for clarity. Have you ever found yourself in a routine? You wake up motivated only to come back at the end of the day previously on lost. As though your life has no purpose that is how my bestfriend would put it. She is very wise. To me clarity comes with sight so your eyes and heart are the victims of what your mind is feeding you. By that I mean, for your eyesight to be clear you will need to get rid of the impurities by shedding afew tears every now and then. You have got to admire how I cover up my way of showing my emotions with such poetry.

By now you should know I am talking about two stories and this is the third one. The reason why I insist that my bestfriend is the second most wisest lady on the face of the universe is because she taught me how loving God is a priceless investment. You know how you can be so broke am not talking about being temporarily out of money but you only have life which is free but if it wasn't, you wouldn't afford it. I am talking about where you don't start prayers with Our Father Who but rather Oh God Why? Everything looks like a punishment. Have you ever been broken and desperate in prayer that you found yourself demanding then negotiating with God. You start off strong praising and adoring him then you sleep, wake up in tears screaming until you black out then you find yourself whispering God let your will be done at the very end. If you have never gone to such extremes you have never wanted it bad enough.

I was taught the art of tithing and giving. At first it was hard. I mean I was unemployed for a while then you are asking me to take breadcrumbs of a pay and tithe. Girl, our Lord understands. It's my time I used to justify to not have to tithe but in the end I would do it as she was the only person who believed in me. Have you ever had that one person who saw something in you when all you see is what society disapproved? Again if you have never experienced this, perhaps this is not your kind of blog.

How long am I willing to wait? As long as it takes to get God's attention. I am holding on to the fact that there is a One Day but the one I love the most in the bible happens to be in the book of Ruth. My name, JUST then! Early Sunday morning I woke up, set my tithe aside and JUST when I was about to leave I heard it. Give me more. I always try to out loud the whispers by praising and worshipping. You know am a fool for you God. I know you do but you can give more. I don't mind adding a thousand or two. More!!! Jesus more? Okay. A little more. That is when a let out a sigh ... Lord I know this is the much you want me to give so I will stop there. Deep in my spirit I knew I had to give twice more but have you ever had plans rather a been on a tight budget and the Lord asked for it all. I stopped and rebuked the devil for trying to steal my finances by sending me a spirit of confusion. I felt it again so I prayed and asked God that if truly that was his will for me give everything in my purse that he shows me a sign.

I left confident that God was clear on me "not to give anymore than I planned". Towards the end of the sermon the preacher confirmed my fears. He even went ahead and gave the example of how chimpanzees love nuts and how easy it is to catch them. Some of you are holding on to nuts when God is asking you to trust that you let go of nuts for him to give you something better.

What was meant to be yours will find its way. What God intended to be yours will be owned by you debt free but there is a price to pay. You will have to stand out, at times alone with God, have faith and the hardest process of all WAIT.  God's timing is impeccable.

In the words of my beautiful mother, baby this is just the beginning of what awaits you. And this I my #RealityCheck.  My testimony.  Keep the faith checkmates. 

My love letter or is it?

My dearest Love,
I know it is unusual for a lady to write a letter leave alone a love note to a man in this day and age but when you meet me you will understand that there is nothing usual about me. I am not alone ...oh no am in excellent company but I just had to leave everyone and everything to come write you a love letter.

I have seen you but we haven't met officially yet. When we do, I will know without a doubt that it is you. Perhaps wherever you are life and facts have convinced you that you are happy. But deep in my heart and in mind, I tell myself that you are far from being close to happiness. Not to get my words twisted but it is never a new year until you have celebrated Christmas. Baby I am the ultimate gift. I am a handful so am guessing you are the sober one. You take yourself way too seriously *chuckles* .

I miss everything about you. I am jealous that wherever you are you get to laugh and that I am not the one making you laugh. I want to learn everything there is to learn about you. Your embarrassing moments , your first kiss, who broke your heart, the times you went broke , your first job and how you were underpaid *how dare they humiliate you* 😂😆 

Did I say this was a love letter or I miss you long note. I was just checking up on you.By now am sure you are used to me and this happens to be my #RealityCheck

I see it, I see you

I see the pain in your eyes. The pain that you try so hard to hide. I see it and I see you but you don't because it has clouded your judgement and has made you believe that everything in life is a competition. Everything in you races to win and must win if not you look for ways to bring others down.

I see bullies, I see you all. Making life a living hell for others just to feel good. You are not mad at the world, you are mad at how you have presented yourself to it. I see you when you think no one is watching how you hide and cry then put on the show you have learnt through the years to save face.

I see you fame cravers. Just because you have had a light bulb moment you assume everyone knows your name. You have to keep up appearances so you do the unthinkable to those blind enough to manipulate. I see you and I will deny you the one thing you crave the most... recognition.

I see you ordinary Joe and Jane. I applaud your silence but no one will ever appreciate your skills if all you do is hide your potential in the name of its not the right time. Tell me when has it ever been the right time?

I have a gift. I see and so I will see the greatness on your behalf but I can't act on it. I see and I try to understand but I can't make you see what I see so you see its not really up to me. I am only responsible for what I see because then am feeding my mind directly and indirectly with positivity,  possibility and probability.

I choose to see because I have already created a need deep within me. Finally I got an answer to "How do you do it?" Easy I see. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean am foolish enough to give up on something others can't see. When you see every part of your body sees. So when you lose sight of it, you don't lose touch of it. That little sparkle of having seen keeps the fire alive of becoming your dream.

What do you see when you look at yourself? I see and that is my #RealityCheck

Wednesday Thoughts

Let me start off by saying that I have a strong dislike for "men" who think they can sleep their way to the top. Correct me if am wrong but doesn't that make you a male whore?  It's sad enough that some women have to sell their bodies to survive while others do it for fun but when a grown ass man uses women to land afew contacts of people who know people that's when I step in and blog.

To think that someone went out of their way for you to get an education or so I assume and this is all you have to show for? Are you kidding me? So many people are out there fighting for their lives this being a cancer awareness month and this sorry excuse for a man is busy causing unnecessary drama between women just because he doesn't have the courage to fix his mess of a life.

The first time I saw him I knew what he was all about without him even saying a word. Everyday he proved me right and now am tired of his cheap show. Don't get me wrong, it was hilarious at first but the thing with independent and ambitious women is, we are easily bored. Frankly speaking the imaginary talk I had in my head everytime I saw him left me in chuckles . I made myself laugh sheepishly if I may add.

Such "men" have time to chase women but not careers. They use the same pick up lines but not enough charm to increase the amount on their payroll. They hip and hop from job to job like grasshoppers but never stop to think that maybe it's not about the grass being greener but that they need to evolve.

If you don't like your job then quit and do something else with your life but don't walk around expecting favors or the world to reward your laziness. I said it and I will say it again, get off your high horse and earn the title being a man.

Goodnight checkmates.

Not Just Yet

When you take time off your 'normal' routine, you get clarity. I am a strong believer in if you are going to go for it then don't hold back. Don't you dare have second thoughts! I don't know about other ladies or women and I don't speak on anyone's behalf other than I, Me and Myself but I easily loose interest and am blaming it on having both an imaginative and creative mind. Before you utter a word my mind is already made up. Having multiple personalities I always give people what to expect instead of who I am.

PLEASE,  DON'T DISMISS ME,  NOT JUST YET

We all know by now that God doesn't run things our way so your timing is not his timing meaning what you consider a "this is it moment" to God is a Not Just Yet. By eighteen it's common sense that you should clear highschool. Next you know which University and what you should major in. You should be twenty five by now working and dating a man with similar accomplishments. By twenty six that man should propose and before the year ends have a grand wedding one that gets the tabloids talking, villagers salivating and friends/enemies eating their hearts out. Right!? You must be thirty and you are working on your masters or PHD and you run your own company, happily married with the it children living the dream ..... until you wake up

PLEASE,  DON'T DISMISS ME, NOT JUST YET

You have been in and out of jobs not sure if by the end of this year you will have kept your first real one considering rumour has it you are about to be fired and you barely survive on commissions. Let's not even talk about your age. Let's just say if we were to look up the meaning of unfair your name would come up. As of dating its not like no one wants you but rather no one has ever asked. You are not a bad person if anything you are the selfless kind. You have just worked behind the scenes.

PLEASE,  DON'T DISMISS ME, NOT JUST YET

The truth is some of you have already made it in life. That doesn't give you the right to look down on others. Most of you are still struggling with identity crisis and want the status so bad that you are willing to compromise you morals to get ahead. Afew of you are old fashioned and aren't struggling though you are working towards your goals while enjoying what life has to offer *this life has people who succeeded at an early age, those accomplishing now and those yet to achieve later on at forty or fifty*

PLEASE, DON'T DISMISS ME, NOT JUST YET

I am scared for the people who became successful at a young age because most of them have already abused that blessing but at the same time my heart breaks for today's millionaires simply because majority of them are the ones taking advantage of teenagers with daddy issues, broken homes and poverty to try and compensate lifestyles and lust.

PLEASE,  DON'T DISMISS ME,  NOT JUST YET

Have you ever been told that you are good BUT SOMEONE ELSE WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU? You are too good to be true then the next minute they ask where are all the good men/women at? First of all, who broke your heart and why are you taking it out on the wrong person?
Bitterness is a disease so stop spreading it and go heal. We all suffer from foolishness sometimes and we take it out on the wrong people but never intentionally but unless your shenanigans has nothing to do with me, keep me out of it.

PLEASE,  DON'T DISMISS ME, NOT JUST YET

Be careful how you treat people because life has different seasons. When you are at the peak of your career put God first and stay humble. Seek wisdom not recognition. 

PLEASE, DON'T DISMISS ME, NOT JUST YET

This is not a pharmacy and these are not instructions on how to apply or live by no this is my #RealityCheck where am simply asking you to PLEASE, DON'T DISMISS ME, NOT JUST YET.

Tea, Coffee or Reality

When everyone else sees it but you don't understand why.  Good morning checkmates. The #RealityCheck is secretly you know what everyone else is talking about but you just don't want to admit it. I read that people who have been single for too long are the hardest to love. Now don't get me wrong I agree with it one hundred percent but people who have been hurt and broken are the hardest to love.

Speaking from experience being single for too long makes you know what you want. I will even go a step further and say people who have kissed dating goodbye are the same people who always keep it real. We don't know how to sugar coat bullshit if am being honest. We are so comfortable in our skins that we expect the rest of the world to keep up. We don't have maybe inbetween yes and no. Time is what we have and time is what we lack. See my kind has already understood but let me explain. If we like you we will give you our undivided attention and even invest but if we have no intention of being associated with you, we will not lead you on.

The reality is you don't even have to try because it comes naturally. Common sense is not so common especially to people living in denial. When you don't understand what others see in someone you like or yourself relax and don't over think things. All you need to know is there is something special there. So don't be quick to dismiss it or yourself. Meanwhile life has to go on.