My 2015 testimony

Coming into this year, I had a number given to me the previous year and I struggled because I thought it was a bible verse. I wanted it to be but deep down no matter how many times I tried to convince myself and pray about it, I knew that it was just that a number. It had been such a difficult year yet no one knew of my struggles because I am not one to complain or show leave alone ask . I am the lady who has the strength when everyone else around me gives up , the one who holds on when loved ones let go and the one who always go out of her way for others strangers included. So you see, there is never room for a pity party.

When I was busy seeking  God and finding myself , understanding my purpose, God brought someone my way. Have you ever met someone you felt you knew your entire life? That is how it felt. That special person gave me something still to date I will never fully understand. The 2015 prophecy was in the book of Isaiah 61:7 . The gift was in alignment with the years promise.

One thing that stood out was when the woman of God said that good ideas can be expensive and immediately I knew that the number would finally make sense. In life there are struggles you go through not because you are a bad person or made wrong mistakes but there are things you can't pray out off. Jesus tried it but he knew he had to die for God's will to be fulfilled. You don't have to walk around feeling like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulder just because bad things happen to good people. God allows them for a reason and later on it will make sense. Maybe it this or that hadn't happened things would have been different. No, things would have been a lot worse. As a human being we only see of tomorrow but God sees beyond generations to come. So don't overwhelm your heart with the guilt. It's time to forgive yourself, the parties involved and allow yourself to move on.

It's funny how we make empty promises only to disappoint the very same people who meant so much to us. What hurts the most is when you are at your worst and getting to hear and watch that one someone quickly forget of your existence. That is when you feel as though nothing matters anymore and the walls have surely closed in and you have nowhere left to turn to. Have you ever had God and felt so alone. Like the more you pray the worse things get. Bad sometimes gets to worse and the only way to make it out alive is to accept. It is what is it. That low moment when even your inner devil is sick of your shenanigans.

The worst thing about coming out of any situation stronger and better is having to choose whether to get even or be the same old good Christian you were before the disappointment. You can't be evil when you have a beautiful heart. Your kindness will always betray you.so the only thing left it so you tell yourself is to be mature about. I don't understand why but instead of being mad at God , I started thanking him for teaching me to be selfless. That is when it hit me, that is why no matter how many times I keep messing up, God still blesses me because I am a good person. That is when I started to embrace this whole am perfectly imperfect. I am a Christian who likes ratchet music. Am shy but there is nothing shy about my character, personality and words. I will smile and curse you out at the same time.

The easiest way to loose someone or get someone to stop caring is when you give them the cold shoulder. No one deserves to be ignored and to me that calls for a say no more moment.

The woman of God said that those who possessed us must free us 2015 to fulfil God's purpose. And so it happened, God made a way and somehow the journey felt easier. She also said that promises come with tests and trials . I was tested and tried and I have got to admit, I knew I had it in me but when I stood up and defended what I believed it, it scared me. When worse get a to worst something magical comes out of it and many don't get to experience it because they avoid or ran away. That is when I went back and confirmed what the woman of God had said that God would give you the grace to endure and fight.

2015 would be the year of intimacy with God. I longed for this the most and ended up hungering to be God's friend. I always thank God for my best friend because I met her through a mutual and at the time when I was nursing a broken heart, she was the only one who sat with me saying nothing, just being there and with time she reminded me of the lady I was in God. Her love and faith in God is what made the two of us become best friends. She is the only woman if anything ever happened to me, I would leave a will for her to marry my husband. She is the only person who can love him the way I can.

I am lucky to have such an amazing true friend who listens to my madness and always sobers me up with a quick reality . It's not like I don't do the same but am more of the imaginative one and she the realistic one. We build each other up which is rare because ladies only seem to be tearing each other down , competing and this is absurd but coming from a man then it must be true, friends are sleeping with each other's boyfriends. Am not even going to waste my time on this foolishness.

The woman of God also gave us a number and I used that to challenge God 2015 and my prayers were answered and I got my Christmas wish and a bonus. What I learnt during Christmas is that Mary knew that Joseph was about to leave her so she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth who was six months pregnant. Like I had earlier on Saud when worse gets to worst a hidden miracle happens. To most John the Baptist was already dead but when Elizabeth went to greet Mary, a miracle happened. When Jesus went to be baptized, who announced him...the same miracle.

Indeed 2015 God fulfilled his promise to me in Isaiah 61:7

And that is my testimony and #RealityCheck in 2015