Tuesday 28 May 2019

People's thoughts on Social media

Me: Hi. So today I will be blogging about...... (is rudely interrupted by people's thoughts)

Social Media: Great! Another wannabe "influencer" (looks away while rolling their eyes). Now what's this one's shenanigans. Why is she writing instead of posting pictures of herself? She must be ugly! The few pictures we see of her are such poor quality like doesn't she own a camera or haven't she heard of photoshop? She doesn't travel! Ladies and gentlemen we have a broke one who in our opinions which happen to be facts plays out as follows. It must have dawned on her that she needs to do something with what's left of her life. She comes off as if she is in her late twenties headed thirty, desperately single I mean her blog tells it all acting all philanthropic yet in the hopes of landing a sponsorship ops! We meant be in partnership with a certain brand and earn her few coins and later purchase a designer bag or two then make us believe she is indeed a public figure. Wait, speaking of figure ( sarcasm loading) we are sick of her posting passport like pictures. Lady we are here to be entertained. Don't blog, vlog. We need to see and hear you. Goddamnit, twerk,  bend over , let us watch you walk away, basically anything for us to brand you as "one of us".  No wonder your followers game is weak and don't get us started on your lack of comments. Hell no! No one wants to double tap on that. Like!? Lady all want to do is block and report your account for FALSE ENTERTAINMENT! Njerislife my foot! Your username should be NjeriWho that way all we have to do is ask each other Njeri! Who? Exactly!!!

Me: First of all the term influencer is overrated. I am just here to serve my #RealityCheck. I write because am good at it and bad at posing thus less to no pictures. (Laughing Out Loud) me ugly? Look at the pot calling the kettle black! Am a flipper not a kiss ass so let me correct you. If your definition of ugly is Unique Girl Loving You heck am the queen of UGLY! Until then you are the ugly one and I suggest You Go Love Yourself (UGLY) I go by Njeri, Njerislife so kindly #CheckMate.  It's not like my DM is flooding with travel offers (for now) but I will all in due time. Baby steps! Besides, I would rather have a temporary bank account than walk around with a broke mentality 😎.  You are right, it did dawn on me that I was allowing myself cheer others achieve instead of putting myself out there chasing greatness. You can purchase etiquette classes but you can't buy manners so this is not me acting because all you are used to is fake it until you make it. The more you purchase new things in your life the less you appreciate what you already own. Single you say, I am an opportunist so don't hate the player rather up your game! I can't twerk reason being my buttcheeks don't know each other. The one time they almost met was when I had diarrhoea to contain that situation. Sponsors have a type not unless their prefence changed overnight from dumb and naive to opinionated with a sparkle of sarcasm in the package of bones and skull looks like I will die blogging 😂. As for don't blog, vlog,  no you vlog,  I will blog thank you very much. The day I will make money moves I promise that's all you will do, see and hear of me. I believe you meant "one of arse" butt what do I know 😆.

This are just people's thoughts and not the #RealityCheck

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