My 7pm thought

Isn't it funny or sad depending on how you look at it people want promotion without having to go through the process. They only want the title but having to work for it feels like a job. These are the very same people who are always complaining when asked to either report to work early or spare an hour after working hours as per their contracts demanding for an extra pay yet all they ever do really is download movies, stream online and tweet of how they hate their jobs. Which got me thinking of you hate it enough to talk about it why not quit? I term such people as liabilities. 

Anyone who has a bad working relationship to be honest in my opinion in person are toxic even in their personal lives. You have nothing new to offer and yes they are predictable. Nothing you ever do will be good enough to them. Identify and avoid them. They are the very same people who lack self esteem so they seek it out through others on the hope of loving themselves. 

I feel like just by writing this the one for me needs this *laughs*. I got you. It's not how long you live but how well you live. I always say my work is to make someone else life easier by listening to inspirational messages and breaking it down in a way you can use this to get through that phase. 

Most people ignore where they are trying to get to where they are supposed to be.. This came as a surprise to me that your future is somehow in Kin with your past . At times we all find ourselves falling inlove with tomorrow and neglecting today when things don't work out. The secret is in surviving today and using what you learn to live out tomorrow. 

This blew me away that we are attracted to people who have mastered what they do. This answers a lot of questions. So when the one you are with says that you have changed *smiles* ...... you are welcome. There are things that only experience can teach you so don't run a race with horses when you are tired from walking with men. That is deep. A true master only shines when the light is on him. So, what kind of a master are you?

And that is my 7pm #RealityCheck. Have an attractive night checkmates. 

Atoti

Gone too soon my friend. You were the brother the perverted brother who always kept it real. To many you might have been a "makanga" but to me you were simply Sam. I saw the real you. I saw past the act you put on . The brave face you always wore on your face. Your charm and charisma had the ladies going    kuku. You were a family man. Always going out of your way for others. Making sure you left an impact. 

Well you did to me anyway. We kept it real with each other. You always made me smile by the power in your words. You made me feel important even on days I felt as though no one noticed or appreciated. You were hard working and even though I always wanted better for you, I guess God did give you that. 

Today on learning of your death, I felt my heart break. I was in denial at first considering it was just last week I bumped into you and as usual you were your goofy self. How you died is too sad to share it here or for me to even write it but I choose to celebrate you and not moan your departure. The fact that you were in my life matters. You mattered and I got to tell you that time and again. The thought of not seeing you even from miles away kills me but I hold on to the memories of you. 

You found love and that is all that matters. I will miss everything about you the good because to me family will never do anything bad enough to be forgotten. You kept it together during your mums death. I don't know how you did that but I could tell it tore you apart because she was your everything. 

I will miss you and will continue saying nothing short of how amazing you were. Thank you for being real and I would be lying if I said I recal ever thanking you in person. I hope I did. I thank God for you. I celebrate you baby boy. Rest in heaven because a man like you deserves a soft white pillow to sleep on while resting. You were no saint but in my eyes you did no wrong. You did me proud brother. I loved you not in the way you always wanted but I did in my own unique way and I celebrate a life well lived. 

And that is my Atoti #RealityCheck. 

Going in a new normal

This is my new truth. Going in a new normal. Breaking the old habits and expecting new results. I am too comfortable in the same routine. As soon as am up , I talk myself to enjoying the day ahead, expect the worst psychology in the hope that it will turn positive , try and leave an impact in someone's life and be at peace with myself at the end of the day. 

As much as it has been working out it has not be exciting. I want to break the barriers, my own self made truth. A special man close to my heart told me that my version could be hindering God from blessing me. Anyone who knows me knows I always have a version. That which am always ready to defend at any cost. So perhaps it's time I allow someone else take charge. It's tiring being the only one who sees it and having to explain why am so firm on a certain situation. 

I am truly blessed. I cannot even begin to tell you what the Almighty God has done for this sinner. He has been merciful and for that I will always be humble. He loves me more than I will ever love him and I am humbled by that. 

People are loyal to disfunction and until you grow up , you will follow people who you ought to be leading "he... My friend  further highlighted ". He understands what I have been through and simply told me to put it away. He warned me that I cannot put it away unless I identify it and resist. I love the part where he emphasized that if I resist it, it will flee. So July is my month to apply what I have been equipped with and move forward. 

My prayer is not to mad when life presents me the opportunity to meet up with the people trying to inflict delay and anger but instead remind myself that they are going through what I went through and now that I know better I shouldn't curse or put them in their places. There has to be a difference between them and myself. Show them that what they saw in you was not temporary and that you still are the same you without them and with others. 

As if he could see throughy troubled heart he ended by assuring me that the only reason why God allowed it to happen is because He knows He can trust you. That made sense. I hope this inspires someone. 

And that is my new normal #RealityCheck

Peaceful love

Ladies have you ever loved a man so much you you would confuse it with a selfless love? This is deeper. You love him enough to know he is putting on a show and know what each show represents. You love him to the extend of knowing he will snap out of it but scared because you know he won't handle the outcome atleast not at first. 

Given the chance to get even you only smile and walk away. Instead of cursing him out you find yourself blessing and assuring those who doubt that he is indeed destined for greatness. Yeah the day I will be in the company of such a man I will be sure to let you know or perhaps I already have * laughs* . Goodnight. 

4pm things

My predictable hot mess. That is the title I have given you in my head. It is always easier to blame it on others than to own up to ones responsibility. I know it takes two but why is it that only one takes the blame for it. In most cases it's always the lady. I don't mind society pointing fingers as a matter of fact if they wouldn't I would be concerned. But when the party involved decides to blame you for their short comings is when things get way out of hand. The only thing left to do is try and fix the mess he leaves behind. 

I am tempted to get even considering am human and blame it on him as well but seeing as I have outgrown the situation I don't mind taking the fall for it. Hey, I took part it's only fair I own up. I guess that is why single mothers most of them anyway  are mad at the man. Not because we were supposed to be in this together but because you behaved like jerk about it. Why is it hard for a man to understand that yes there was a time I really liked you  but now you are just a random dude. Like I don't like you like that. When you do that, it's not cute it's rather annoying. You deserve the best and since am not it, go find it. 

Why are men mad when a lady decides they want nothing to do with them? Sure it was fun but feels more of a game the minute it's over so is everything else.  I could really use a man's opinion on this but until then I will keep writing trying to figure it out along the way. No one deserves to be rejected but I am an honest kind of human being. If I like you then I will show it and if not, I will be clear to stay out  of your way.

Why does everything have to be messy?whatever happened to we can still be friends? Wait weren't we friends to begin with? I don't like hostility. So I always try y best to be in workable conditions with everyone. By workable I mean only if it's work related *giggles*. 

I don't have a problem with you dating other females so why should you be mad  at the fact that am moving on with my life? Wait, you didn't actually mistake me for a ride or die hard chic did you? I am as modern as they come. There is no need for you to push me away just give me a reason to leave and I will. Don't sugar coat it either it is what it is. 

Unlike men, we don't show the rest of the world just how moved on we are, we are sensitive species so I hide the fact that we have also found someone special but this time we are being cautious as not to end up as last time. That's all. 

Why can't we all get along and laugh at how it didn't work out between us? Men, why are you always trying to make us look bad? What are you hoping to achieve? They say women are complicated but I swear as I mature men are just difficult to understand. I am not suggesting we go on double dates am rather asking we respect each other's decision. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

#MondayMadness

I have had my share of sad men. I saw this coming I just never saw the details it came wrapped in. This morning I just want to talk to all the men out there. This could be useful to you ladies as well. I am not a man but I think rather I know this piece will do. 

So how do you know you are dealing the sad kind of man? It's easy. Make and take the time to learn this kind of rare species. No man will even own up to being bitter leave alone being sad. It's upon you to take what he gives you and match it against how he carries himself. It's not for the faint at heart ladies so by assuming you know him doesn't necessarily mean you understanding him. 

When a man shows you who he is believe him. Don't try and prove him wrong although that is where most of us ladies go wrong but if he treats you like crap, he is not testing to see if you will stay or leave, he is simply that ...

The sad kind of a man has the following weaknesses: he is a know it all, he believes he can buy his way out of any situation, he only thinks about himself and how he will benefit from the situation and deep down is afraid of being rejected . So instead of trying to change that man with love and adoration,ale his dreams into a reality he never saw coming. Ladies, when you have done all you can do by a man leave before he leaves you. Run babygal run with everything in you. 

That man will never appreciate you presence until the day you leave. Sure he will hook up with afew ladies some even  in your circle of friends to prove just how much he detests you but let's be real, why would you want to prove a point that close to home? His main agenda is making you regret ever playing him in his own game. Who said it was a game? We met, has a special connection, the chemistry felt right so one thing led to another and when it did not work out you left. As simple as that. 

Gentlemen never break the bro code. I don't know how you go about it but as far as ladies go, you never out your friend  unless he is a total jerk and the lady deserves better. Going to the extreme by dishing out details to try and justify perhaps what might have gone down with the wife, sister or cousin to me screams desperation. The only logical anyan would go to such an extend is to hurt his "bro" where it hurts the most. That is when things get messy. In the end it's not worth it. Loosing your friendship over a heat in the moment to me only proves that you never valued your friendship in the first place.

The sad kind of man is a one man's show. He is a one man empire. He never feels the need to let anyone in. It even his male friends. He only says what they want to hear to appear human as if he relates. He is as a result of a bad breakup if not rejection. Some female somewhere is to blame for this mans actions. Just because she rejected him at the time perhaps he was broke makes him believe that now that he has money and influence he can have any woman he so wishes just to prove a point to his past. Goodness and to think they say woman are pathetic. He willingly hops from one sexual encounter to another making empty promises like I can get you anything you so desire. How about some honesty for starters? Too much? I thought so. He has made himself think that he is a young god who can grant you the universe if you continue submitting. He is no more than an empty man afraid of being on his own. 

The thought of any woman rejecting him doesn't sit well with this kind of sad man. He has mastered the art of faking just how he understand where you are comin from that you will end up believing he is heaven sent. He feels caged and every time he feels cornered he uses what he has money, women and power to back him up. He is the life of the party looking for new experience just to get bragging rights. He acts and looks sophisticated but at the end of the day he goes home feeling worse and wakes up knowing that nothing he ever does will ever fill the void. 

The sad kind of man is unapologetic . Like I said unless he is sure he will get some at the end of that sorry word you might as well wait an eternity. He is the ultimate playboy. He messes around with the female psychology just until you let him in. He is fast to justify and cover up his trials. He flaunts his strengths . The sad kind of man is always the loud kind that utilizes any opportunity to get noticed. The sad kind of man shows off and uses what they have to get attention. He uses his titles to emphasize just how important he is. 

The sad kind of man is the one with secrets. He is the settling kind of man who does it just to prove to himself and others that he can bag a beautiful woman for a wife. He is the kind that lives in his friends shadows. He gets kids just because he friends have kids. He doesn't have real friends he has fans who end up being parasites. He has clowns for entertainment to still prove that he is relevant . His back up friends *clowns now turned parasites* only like him for what he represents Mpesa balances and beer pressure. He is fincially stable and makes it rain every weekend heck everyday. He has to prove a point or live up to his self made title.

 

The sad kind is emotionally unavailable . The only time he spent alone was when he was creating his empire and vowed to never allow any woman in the way he let the one that got away or he actually wanted rejected him. I figure she did him a huge favor because he established himself but sadly took the pain with him. This bitterness is getting way out of hand. The sad kind of man thinks that if it were not for his money, titles and power would any female ever like him for who he is? No! Simply because you would be broke but still bitter. Bitter is constant. There is nothing attractive about a bitter man regardless of his billions. He only turns a good woman bad. 

The sad kind of man will never get it and will even blame his short comings on the one good woman out there trying to understand him. He will rebuke, insult and make her pay for another woman's mistakes. On behalf of the good women out there who are working for their thrones the old fashioned way, going to work early, leaving the office late, having to issue reports , missing a meal or two while on the job and still trying to look presentable, there is more to a man that what he represents. I already have a job thank you very much but I need you to return the same respect I give you. I did not get here by chance or coincidence  so don't think you are doing me a favor when you rub your title in my face. Not every woman is her and for the record being bitter and treating everyone around you as your loyal subjects won't get her back. 

On behalf of all sad men out there, my kind will not hesitate to leave. Loyalty has an expiry date as well. So how about I blind devotion you behind the scenes and the day you will get to learn of what I did for you perhaps that will make you appreciate the little good left in humanity. But then again am reminded we all can't be guilt free some of us have to be bitter for the world to be balanced. Oh well carry on you sad kind of man. 

And that is my #RealityCheck 

7:41

Let it be known that I have nothing against office affairs but the thought of using someone else to get ahead to me deserves the shaming list. You couldn't keep it inbetween your legs so don't expect the rest of us to keep it inbetween our cheekbones. Two reasons why everyone would know you are earning more than your salary would be one, you wanted them to know. You are as lame as the person you are having the affair with to try and mark your territory. What part of being the breakfast , lunch, five o'clock and inbetween don't you get? Everyone is busy .... Busy updating each other about the two of you on hangout. People are exchange information and predicting on how soon your little affair will blow over. 

The other reason is your body language says it all. If I ever come across a man worth the trouble best believe I always put my happiness first. I will have the affair and not even think twice. Like I said if he is worth the consequences. I wouldn't want him to be my colleuge though. That would be awkward having to face my past office hours. Tempting but I am a little hesitant on it. 

I like my business private and straight to the point. Set everything on the table. If we both just want to have a little fan then let's do exactly that. Let's not complicate things by and in most cases we ladies end up having more feelings for the man and expecting more. The more reason I avoid affairs. I don't want to be the fool in the man's mind game. 

So what happens when things go way out of hand? Someone is bound to be fired. You find in most cases the lady will start acting up mixing her emotions with business. Unlike men, we are yet to master the art of faking or in English the art of acting as though it doesn't bother us. Watching people having affairs is fun. It's like a telemundo though in their case there is no happily ever after. Anything based on lies ends up not only hurting both parties but the outcome is ugly. No one wants to work with a bitter human.

If you can't handle the heat then don't start a fire. Putting it out is not the problem but rather controlling it becomes the challenge. So am I still going to have an office affair? I believe the right question should be ," are the consequences worth the affair?" Think about it.... I know I am. 

And that is my #RealityCheck