The Last Monday Of July 2016

I had my life all figured out. After completing my high school education I would study British Law , graduate with honors leave this country , start life in a foreign country , work on my identity there as one of the best criminal lawyer and fall helplessly inlove with my dream man when working on one of the cases as the presiding judge. Wait did I mention I would be driving my custom-made dream car. That was the dream. But that is all it was a dream.

Reality can be brutal. Living life in my early twenties I always knew that my day would come. Sadly each year brought with it different demons. The hallelujah turned into God is good and from there the amen slowly faded into whispers and finally I became Sarah. My laugher was bigger than my frustrations. When I heard people say God is good I smiled on the outside though on the inside I knew that he was only good to them not me.

We have all had this moment in life where at a certain point you stop living and start surviving. You just want to live today and not think about tomorrow leave alone the future. When you are around your peers all you could think about was who is better than who. But the beauty that comes with maturity and being secure enough in your own skin, you realize it's not a competition but my journey. Sure I had a dream and it didn't look up but who said I couldn't or can't dream again? It's not easy I understand having laid down on the ground for a while but if we all give up then what? We all wait to die? Come on!

For those of you who have never had the chance to know what it's like to have credentials and people turn you down especially this new young generation I don't envy you. I am happy for you but I don't admire you. Initially your charm will run out and someone younger and more beautiful or handsome will replace you so good luck with that.  You may be in your early or late  twenties and still everything in your life looks dead. Don't lose hope. Take heart. Look at it this way darling, you were not ready for that success. Think about it, with those kinds of friends you used to hang out with, do you think you would still be employed? Besides I heard thirty is the new twenty. 

Big deal you are still single and headed forty. Who said by that age you should be someone's mother or father? Screw society. Now that you are fifty and everyone is expecting you to have your shit together so what? Be the next Oprah. What's your point? Am glad you asked. My point is we all have the same dreams but different timings and blessings. Just because your old man or lady figured life out ealier on in life doesn't mean you don't deserve the family name. You are not the black sheep of the family. Or maybe you are and that is what makes you stand out. You don't have to go down the same path everyone else goes through to make it to the other side of life. You would be a fool to think am encouraging you to cheat your way there but own it. Own your flaws and strengths , stop making excuses and press on. We still have five months to go so make the most of this year. And that is my #RealityCheck

Friday Thoughts

Whoever said the bible is not romantic must go by the name Judas not that there is anything wrong with that but let's be honest we all know how his story ends. Perhaps I have repeatedly said of how proud I am of my name but for emphasis sake let me say it one more time. I absolutely adore my first name.

Ruth in the bible was just some girl who happened to meet some man then they lived happily ever after. Right? WRONG!! When I meet a man am totally interested in I tend to give him a heads up by hinting the bible Ruth. I don't know about you being Boaz but am talking about who I truly am and what you should expect. I like my version of the story . The way I tell it comes off as more me than what you would expect from four chapters.

Ruth 1:18 When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her. I know what I want and I am determined to get and will stand by what I say.
Ruth 2:2 let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor. I am always on the move trying to make ends meet. I see potential in what others dismiss as leftovers. Behind...I never want to take center stage but rather love working BEHIND  the scenes . I always invest if I am sure there is anyone in whose eyes I find favor.

From ten years later to Ruth 2:4 Just then Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters the Lord be with you. I don't believe in coincidences but rather live for moments like JUST THEN ....

This is the part I adore the most Ruth 2:5 Boaz asked the overseer of his harvesters ,"Who does that young woman belong to?"

What was meant to be yours ladies, you will never find yourself having to try so hard to impress to get his attention. He will notice you when all you are after are "leftovers". Gentlemen,  when you see her, oh you will know and no matter how proud and arrogant you try and come off every vein in your body will match up your heart beat. The heart speaks a language that the mouth can't explain but the rest of your body can express. And that is my #RealityCheck

The ignorant modern day man

Just having to write this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Ignorant modern day man is one who still reasons like all his life he has lived in a cave. I am not mad, am mad as hell. What is this hatred that certain men have towards women?

In my humble opinion you would make a good brand ambassador for an askhole. Sir you are not dumb but ignorant which makes it worse. Thanks to this sponsorship mentality most men not all are starting to act as though this great nation needs them. Pardon my honesty but aren't we supposed to praise and worship God and not man?

I think these men are suffering from mid life crisis. Correct me if am wrong but I know majority of them were born and raised in average homes or worse and now that they have succeeded they feel owed but my big question is by who society, women or God? Listen, not every woman is interested in your achievements and few coins *lets be honest it's local currency not wealth*. If you have issues with the females in your life spare the rest of us your foolishness. Handle your personal life the way you handle your business by communicating with the relevant parties involved if there is a misunderstanding and stop taking it out on good women.

Does that make me less of a lady or romantic towards good men out there, not at all. If anything am inspired to appreciate and applaud them. We all have demons but when a man starts acting like a bitter woman that is where I draw the line and I answer back with my #RealityCheck

Wednesday wonders

Good morning checkmates. Have you ever woken up inlove? You are single but you can almost swear that you are inlove? You are broke but you know somehow it will all work itself out? You have nothing to show for but that doesn't seem to get you down enough to throw yourself a pity party? You are hurt broken but deep down you know that your king is out there and somehow when the time is right he will walk up to you and your self made "madness" for having waited and believed will start to make sense?

Listen, no amount in your bank account will ever motivate you to dream bigger. Sometimes not having the entire package is a blessing in disguise. It keeps you on your toes. It reminds me of the song it's not right but it's okay.

This morning for no apparent reason I am inlove with God. In the eyes of men I am nowhere but through God's eyes baibee you can't handle the truth. Forgive me if I am not the jealous type because I admit she is beautiful but I am extraordinary. Some don't understand me and many can't keep up and I am more than okay with that.

So you see, I have every reason to be inlove with God and that is my #RealityCheck

Tuesday Night

June has been well June and by that I mean it has been cold. With every bad weather we all know there is bound to be sunshine later on so June please do your worst * am sorry ... please be gentle*. I can already feel the rays even when the sky is grey.

The month when being single is annoying. Comfort is key. Extra pair of socks, a trench coat , warm blankets , hot cup of tea and positivity. If you are lucky enough to steal afew kisses that should last you until next time if there is a next time. It's every woman for herself and those strong enough to fight the urge of 'giving in' see it as it really is just a cold month and not an excuse to do what you secretly want but too scared to ask or rather go for it.

And that is my #RealityCheck. Keep warm checkmates

Saturday Thoughts

Unless you are not human,  we have all hit rock bottom at one point in our lives especially when it comes to matters of the heart. We have all loved some more than others but we all know what it feels like to want someone. But have you ever needed someone to love you back , life to look/add up so desperately? Ladies he doesn't have to have much in his bank account or the usual TDH  (Tall, Dark and Handsome) but that damn I need me a man moment! Gentlemen she doesn't have to have curves or know her way around the kitchen but all you care about is how she makes you feel alive like the only man in the entire planet!

I believe that is why slowly society is embracing *sponsorship*. Young girls are opting to be in relationships with older men the age of their fathers to fill the void of perhaps having being raised by a single mother or grandparents. They just want to feel safe. Ladies my age don't want to date men their age or the old fashioned two to five years age difference.  They want to settle with men ten to twenty years age difference because a man in that age group knows exactly  what he wants. Gentlemen, take notes this is what most ladies are suffering from.

It's sad and way too early for us to want to live off people's success and seasons instead of creating and patiently waiting for our turn. Oh well looks like am alone in this but don't get me wrong I am lonely but not alone. Am not hitch, doctor love or a PIMP whisperer so ladies don't ask me where the good men are  *laughing sheepishly* . If you want to be an old man's lover be that and if you want to date an older woman just to excuse yourself from being a man and have to get a job ,boy do you. Just don't expect me to sympathise when you run in circles or expect me to join the trend. Trendy lifestyles are not for everyone and the day you will learn your dance life and everyone else will respect your art because you will have mastered it to perfection. And that is my #RealityCheck.  Good day #Checkmates 👑

My evening thoughts

I have a million and one thoughts running through my mind and I can't help but smile . Men are curious beings and watching them stare at women even this late in the dark you have got to ask yourself how they do it. They are the ultimate thirst lords who will never be quenched or satisfied sadly. Some will secretly want more while the rest openly roam around in search for more if not better.

As a lady I could easily conclude that these men are crazy about me but in actual sense I know what's running through their minds. So I won't sit here and lie to myself that I am "all that and a bag of chips" . Some are bored out of their mind , others frustrated , to afew I remind them of a version of who the one he is with used to be , to one or two am a reality check that good women still exist and to the rest am just a vision of self pleasure.

Easy come easy go so ladies don't be a seasonal thought to any man. Aspire to be the only one who leaves him speechless. Men are easily fascinated and easily bored. Don't be summer when what he needs is winter. Beauty cracks but character like fine wine makes the heart of a king Merry.

And that is my #RealityCheck