Needy Men

I have gotten the go ahead from my bestfriend to blog on needy men. Where are my manners? Hi there. I go by Jess but you can call me Njeri. Clearly we are not familiar with each other “yet” so let’s keep it professional. Ignore the avi & pay attention to my words/ opinion below. I know what you are thinking 🤔 why would such a beauty waste her time on such things? If you think am here to waste your time, congratulations am sure I have exceeded your expectations. If you believe am here to make a difference, keep that smile broad and prolonged. Read on 👇

Needy men. Let’s get something out of the way here, a needy man is one with needs and not a man showing weakness in his character. Now that I have defined that, let me start off by letting you know what my bestfriend said about me regarding needy men. She is so hilarious . Am an Aquarius lady. I grew up a wanjakihii (tomboy) climbing trees and wrestling my brothers. I built cars, played  football & started doing my own laundry when I was 9-10 years to date. I am more focused on hard work as opposed to physical beauty. My bestfriend had this to say, “Jess, you can date a needy man because let’s face it, you are a man.” Like I said she is hilarious. God created me tough because He knew my purpose in life requires a tough human being to get the job done. I have sufficient grace to handle it .

Am a destiny helper. That is one of the many gifts I have been humbly blessed with. The people I have had encounters with had one thing in common, fragile souls. They are so giving of themselves, they hardly ever make it about themselves. That’s where God positions me.

Needy gentlemen and ladies have fragile souls. They are so delicate to a fault that if in the wrong hands, they will never blossom to their fullest. There is who you are, who people know you to be and the hidden potential in all of us. Why do you think love is the greatest gift? Why do you think there are soulmates? It’s that soul to soul connection that which can only exist when two hearts beat as one. The same way a mother knows her child is not okay is the same way a man/ lady is supposed to figure it out that something is up with their spouse. Needy men are very special and not everyone gets them. They come off as work which excites me because I love working on mysteries. They come off as kind and generous to a point where most describe them as too nice. Thus nice guys finish last.

If you know you are needy in certain areas of your life, get with someone who is strong. Think of the times you are the most vulnerable. Then picture someone more needy expecting you to see them through such circumstances. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. Two broken hearts will always find reasons to try and fix what’s broken. Two capable hearts will always find a way to stay happy. Your job is to love and receive that love in return. The problem with trying to fix a person is entitlement. I fixed you so choose me. It’s pathetic. Sympathy won’t keep a man. It will certainly capture his attention the same way nudity does but let’s face it, life is not a play boy mansion. At some point, you will out grow it. Needy gentlemen and ladies, loved the right way can be hidden streams. Don’t allow the ground work fool you. Some are born needy while others become needy due to unavoidable circumstances. Being needy doesn’t make you less of a man or lady.

I guess that’s why am single. I don’t know how to ask as I was born and taught how to become self sufficient. Real life is not one big happy family where we all share hugs and kisses. It’s survival for the fittest. Am just working on my 50%. See I might not match you financially but perhaps all I have to give comes in emotionally. We all have something to offer you just have to know what you are bringing to the table. Remember, it takes two to tango #MyMagazineThoughts

I missed the mark

Certain chances and opportunities in life are like shooting stars. I spent so much time back then looking up for such stars that I missed out on how beautiful the sky is at night. I would try and figure out the mystery behind each zodiac I could think off that sometimes I would walk away disappointed.

I wished upon a shooting star twice.

I never got what I wanted. Now with each chance I get to look up, I just think of how beautiful Gods work really it. It’s like walking in an art gallery hoping to meet the owner yet walking away disappointed.

I missed the mark.

I have learnt from that.

Today, I focus on the artwork if not the masterpiece infront of me. Perhaps it took a minute or longer but the story behind that painting or poem is what I seek the most. There is a deeper hidden meaning. Not for me to try and figure it out but for me to observe and embrace my own flaws which make me beautiful altogether.

You learn to live inspired and use that to have the courage to chase your own dreams. It’s not for you to love the author or poet, it’s for you to fall inlove with your own special kind of madness or magic which makes you, YOU ✨

Am not smart, Am wise

I stopped hanging out and availing myself to people who don’t see me the way God sees me. I am very protective of myself and who I am. Not many get the privilege of me calling you my friend. There are certain roles I take very seriously in life. Being someone’s friend is COSTLY.

Having meaningless conversations is something I avoid. Am a dreamer and sometimes a doer. I spend more time alone dreaming, imagining and envisioning. Am happiest alone just me and Google defying facts and feeding my mind with indescribable possibilities. Am creating my own facts. Calling you a friend is a priceless gift. If I ever say I don’t trust you it’s one of two things. I don’t know your story (why you act the way you do) or you have shown me why I shouldn’t trust you either directly or indirectly.

The one thing I pride myself in is respect. I will both respectfully walk in your life and gladly walk out. Am not an A student but I know how to read inbetween the lines. Am not smart, am wise. See if you have a story to tell, you have a hidden dream inbetween then & now. Wouldn’t be nice to just wake up one day & God brings you, a you. Imagine that. A you in another person. Someone who sees you the way you see yourself even when sometimes according to society there is nothing to see. Them seeing every possibility of you becoming bigger than your dreams. Them reminding you every now and then when doubt creeps in. Them praying with you. Them being angry at you when you stop believing. Have you ever had such a friend? Have you ever met such a person?

Everyone deserves this. Not everyone is that lucky. I got this line from a movie. Be careful how you treat people because you could be entertaining an angel. You are placed on this Earth to love and be loved. If you aren’t getting or giving one of the two, something is wrong.

For me to call you my friend it means I see that fight in you as well. You want it bad enough to wait for it and not be greedy. You have discipline and determination. You are focused yet a little crazy. It’s in you as it’s who you have always been even when you weren’t sure.

As I said it’s COSTLY. You must pay the price. It’s not something you buy into or out. All legends & the people I admire and look up to, have paid the price. They just didn’t have bad breaks but only had God left. It’s that much sweeter when it’s that bitter #MyMagazineThoughts

R-E-A-L-L-Y take it in

Everyone is in their own world right now. Uncertainty everywhere. Luxury is good but personally with unpredictability hovering those cars keys won’t laugh back at my silly jokes. Tomorrow is the new unknown future so all I ask is a little intervention from hope and love. I feel desperation kicking in. That’s when I need my sanity the most. To silence the now mentality. Or perhaps that’s the fighting spirit in me letting me know I still have some fight left in me. Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Silence the world outside and listen to inner peace.

Those lucky enough to have someone by their side during this pandemic to hold, embrace and assure them that everything is going to be alright, don’t take it for granted. Appreciate every kind gesture you get and return it back . Nothing is guaranteed . The solo ladies and gentlemen out there, I call you brave. Those strong enough to not use this pandemic to fall back into all habits,I celebrate you all. Keep going. Focus all that energy on achieving the impossible in trying times. You are remarkable. It will pay off eventually.

Last but not least there is me. I don’t know how I do it. It’s who I am purposed to be. Inspirational yet pretty messed up. Everyone who has experienced a blow in life knows that staying down only helps you strategize and come back strongest.

You know how we all joke and say welcome to the rest of your life? Baibèé this is it. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives. Some will be in denial and search for what was. Others will be stuck in what is. The rest will merge forward and never look back.

So, anything you have been uncertain of, that relationship, job or lifestyle, it’s all about to change. Lack has a way of showing us what truly matters. Spending time with someone/something gives you insight of who/what they really are. Ain’t it funny how things work themselves?

All in all, not all is lost. There is so much left. We were just swamped with getting ahead in life we forget to live. What is the significance of slow motion? There is something in life that requires our undivided attention. For us to R-E-A-L-L-Y take it all in.

Those are my #MagazineThoughts turned to a #RealityCheck

Do Not take too much time....

So much anger, hatred and bitterness overwhelming many lives. You have every right to be angry, disappointed and frustrated. You don’t expect others to feel or understand you by walking around bitter and hatred. Take time off and allow yourself to grieve. Let it all out. DO NOT TAKE TOO MUCH TIME BURIED IN SORROW. It will just rob you of time and what’s left of your life. When faced with sadness or loss, sometimes we find ourselves throwing away the good times and memories it brought with it.

The many missed opportunities to make the best of the worst. Rediscover yourself. Stop observing others and start living life intentionally for yourself. If no one reports their life to you every morning, why are you giving them the benefit of a doubt with yours? Take a month off. Better yet two. Okay fine, take half the year off. Now, hear me out. Come December 31st 2020, what will you tell your hopeful self? Do you think it’s fair you keep postponing your own happiness by allowing setbacks hold you back?

You have really convinced yourself that life hates you that much that’s why you never seem to catch a break. See you can’t feed yourself negativity and expect positivity in return. How would you know it if you keep blocking generosity with anger, peace with hatred. Goodness aren’t you tired of being tired all the time from years of self carried burdens? It’s like trying to fill a broken vase with water. The only thing that little water will attract is dust & afew mosquitoes. What’s attractive about that?

There was more to life before your anger and there will be more to life after. The constant words here being THERE and MORE TO LIFE. Only one thing standing in their way, you. Don’t be so consumed with the present least you forget the past. Again there is yet still more to come. People will outgrow you eventually. God won’t. People will give up on you, God hasn’t. He knows how to speak your language fluently that’s why only you understand your own pain well enough. It’s never the end until you have fulfilled your purpose.

Unless you start focusing on your own wins, you will always compare your life to others. Competing with others won’t prompt your success. The world is already hungry so don’t allow it to swallow you alive by hiding behind fear, hatred and bitterness. Do your best and leave the rest to God. Sometimes God takes too long. No that’s you wanting God to direct your life according to your timing. Where are you going in a hurry? Everyone else is on planet Earth. I mean this literally, “Come back to Earth”. Someone needs you.

You are someone’s #RealityCheck. So much for my #MagazineThoughts

It's May, if you may

How much effort I put into something tells me just how much value I have placed either on an item or someone. I have become extremely cautious with my generosity not because I hardly ever get it back but am done with phase investments. Let’s break it down.

If by the following week, though a day is enough for me to already know, I look at you and start losing respect for you internally, am done with you in my books. The only thing I can offer you is maturity and a few kind words if need be. I took the time but I can’t lose anymore. I used to go all out when dating. Now am not. Neither dating nor making an effort. I have developed a man thought process. Sure I like you, ama clean myself up and smell good coz am attracted but am not purchasing any new item. No sir!

I keep asking myself this. Is there a man out there who likes me enough to even purchase a new pair of boxers, change his cologne or even buy a new suit to impress me? It’s almost May. As a matter of fact, it’s May, if you may. See what I did there? Ofcourse not! Why would you. If it’s not broken why fix it? Am sure that’s what running through the mind of most men as they read this. Because it matters. It makes a difference. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks but I say you can’t teach a new trick to an old dog.

So Romeo, if you are expecting a beauty who will blow your mind away, that’s why we keep passing each other on these rather busy streets. Get your list of image expectations and burn it. Then come down to earth. Put the liquor down because you will need to be sober to notice me. For me, my time is too expensive to waste it on someone who is not willing to yield results. The try and error is over. You are either who/what I want/need or not. Not just in a man but in everything am doing. What doesn’t make me happy is not worth doing.

Gentlemen, if I show up please take it very seriously because I never show up. If I smell extra good, don’t hold back the compliments because am here for it. You only get one opportunity in life, please leave a lasting impression. Take advantage of it positively.

That is #MyMagazineThoughts serving as a constant #RealityCheck

Make an effort

I am thankful for love ❤️. No matter how many times you give it away, you are never left empty. So people who walk around holding on to it for dear life really amaze me. Why would you be afraid to be free? Love frees you from fear. 2020, you should give love a chance

I am not suggesting you walk around telling people you love them. That’s missing the whole point. Holding it in does nothing for your soul either. It’s not everyday you wake up falling in and out of love so if you can feel it, embrace .For those who have taken the time to heal and date themselves in the process, don’t be unfair to yourself. Get back in the game. Unless you plan to fall for the same person who hurt you before, give yourself the benefit of a doubt. It’s going to be different and scary but isn’t that what a leap of faith is all about. Trying something else yet believing it will work it. Don’t push or force it. Let it work itself out. Don’t rush or walk away, stay and be in the moment.This time don’t just be with anyone, be selfish enough to be with someone who actually meets you half way. Write down the qualities you want in him or her. At the same time write down what you intend to offer them.Evaluate the value they are going to bring in your life. As a man you must provide. Figure it out. Don’t say women only want men with money. Try key word try and make ends meet. Let her meet you doing something. Make an effort goddamnit.

Turn a hobby into a career

As a lady, don’t just sit and look pretty. Go back to school and get an education or be street smart. Be a gain not a pain. Be his source of strength, advisor or business partner. Be involved and on the look out for new opportunities to capitalize on. Be an asset . His asset

Last but not least, fall inlove. Love as if no one ever broke your heart. Love as if it’s your first encounter with this mysterious word and world it has to offer. Love blindly not holding anything back and wisely to not cross the line between sanity and insanity. Don’t love because it feels like a movement, love because your heart is ready to embrace the presence of someone else. Dare yourself to give it your all not in the hopes of it MUST work out but rather it WILL work itself out.
Promise yourself this. Until you are sure, you will not say you love someone when in actuality all you want is a quick fix to get you through afew rough and tough nights and days ahead.

The next time you say I love you regardless of whether they will say it back or not, you will have been bold enough to love again. Before long, you will have settled down with the one who will fall madly, deeply inlove with you.

#MyMagazineThoughts