Shock vs Reality

Goodness if you all saw the shock on my face on realizing that reality is either too harsh to accept or this is just sheer madness. It got me thinking like I have I been in denial say all mylife or what just happened. It's as if a bus just ran over me then as if not enough came back to ensure nothing was left behind .... Getting rid of the evidence that I even existed. 

What has become of our young girls? You would think I am a parent but at times I feel like owning up to such a responsibility seeing as I always take care of everyone around me. They don't ask me to but I feel the need to their Wonder Woman truth be told. 

So this morning I learnt of how these poor innocent babies have been commuting themselves to ungrateful and meaningless relationships. This is where they should be curious enough to steal  afew kisses but not going the whole is it the nine or ten yards? Well in their case it feels as though it's the twentieth. 

There should be our very own local BringBackOurGirls. They have been indulged in this that even forty year olds are yet to discover. They have been taken advantage off perhaps because they are naive but the they are coming off as curious enough to learn.

It got me thinking like where have I been? Is this what am missing out on a in the name of being taken? Is this what relationships have been reduced to? Afew benefits on the side? But what becomes of the rest of us helpless romantics? Dear God is this what the long has been all about? Didn't I ever read that love is pure  and kind? Is it that our parents were naming us out of mere  sarcasm only to end up becoming the opposite. 

Think about it. What were our folks thinking at the moment they names us .... please insert your name here.....now  who or rather what have you become? Sad .... Indeed very sad. Am I in denial or is reality proving too much to handle?

Guilt 👀🙊🙉🙈

Is anyone feeling guilty this morning?Good you should be.If you have nothing to hide then you would not walk around fearing for your life or feeling as though everyone is judging you.No guilt no baggage.I personally am a firm believer of sneaking around as long as you have a title and by title I mean girlfriend, fiance or wife.Being friends with benefits is the most selfish thing any human being can expect or ask from another.Why sell yourself short?All in the name of not committing but answer me this the minute he/she doesn't show up to steal afew kisses and caress parts of your body that leave you feeling like you want to sneeze but can't least the thrill escapes your mind, why do you tend to 'feel disappointed?' Because you care and caring to mean is a clear sign that that person means more to you than you think.

Mr on and off.The #ProudManTalk.The talk that irritates the broad daylight out of a vampire.Where he only talks to you when he wants you and expects a response.Things have to go his way.He disappears after the two of you shared something you thought was concrete only to realize it was a strategy to keep you as his go to girl.The type of man who sends ....as a message and expects you to read in between the lines.The arrogant type that never apologizes and the minute he ever does he feels like the world owes him for being a superhero.Listen up gentlemen not unless you want to die alone in your mothers house at the age of 30 please spare the rest of us good ladies your cheap drama,act and shenanigans.We get it, you have been disappointed by what you thought was the jack pot but tell me something fellas where do we come in in your misfortunes?Why is it that you are taking out all your frustrations on a good lady who has done nothing but be honest, accept your short comings and expect the same in return I mean is this a crime so bad that is worth sentencing us to an unfair trial?

Life has consequences and personally I go for a man with whom I will look back at the door of consequences and utter,"damn that son of a woman was worth it.Every bit of it" and laugh.I am not looking for sunshine when it rains, I am waiting for someone to get me dancing shoes to dance in the rain.I don't want forever with you, I want every second of my breath with you by my side.I am not looking for my biggest fan but my source of inspiration.I don't want better days with you but ridiculous moments with you.I don't want to be the one but I want to be the reason you smile.I don't want you to be my superman but I just want you to be all the man you can ever be with me.

Guilt,pleasure and pain.That is what life has to offer.So if you don't mind, I want to wake up with no guilt in my gut for I have done all that I can.When I admire myself in the mirror I want my reflection to smile back at me.I want a bottle of red wine to nurse my self made standards.Above all I don't mind you being my guilt,pleasure and pain.

 





So yet again I ask,"Is anyone feeling guilty this morning?"

What are you getting yourself into?

We all want the same things the good life.the package bringing with it a good man/lady , financial stability and everything else that comes with these two. 

Most of all we all want to be loved. The old me never quite understood well was delusional over the fact that if a man/lady loves you hen they understand that you expect their unconditional loyalty and respect. That is not the case. 

The 2014 couple want it all at ago which to be honest is not only bonkers but sheer fantasy.Switch off that GPRS just incase you think of hiring a hitman *too much cable I know* let me explain ... No one has the time to wait anymore so the whole getting to know you comes right after the two of you have become intimate .... That is too much of a beautiful word to waste so I take it back ... You have already quenched your urges, then you start asking all the wrong questions like where did I go wrong?..seriously in allowing your lust not last that man/lady longer where do I go from here? I don't know perhaps to your old life yes you want the truth then don't ask ignorant questions.

You can't plan for the perfect moment that I know because the best moments just happen.Get to be friends first.Then if you want to be more it will happen on it's own but if you think by making it easier for the other party will land you a oh wow darling the only trip you will be making will be to the chemist.If you want that man/lady to value you you have to give him/her something to remember you by in a good way.Set the standards, make that man/lady find it hard to meet another you out there.You would rather have him/her respect you enough to treat you right than disrespect you in a manner you will feel used if not abused.

I don't see the harm in being friends first unless you are looking for a good time.Lets be honest ladies at the end of the day someone will want more ..clue the lady....someone is bound to be hurt...clue number two the lady .... someone will end up being bitter....last clue it's a she ....Either way ladies we stand to loose so why not make use of the moment given to you by opportunity.The problem is not getting his attention ...that you already did but the trick or should I say the real hard work is keeping him interested in you.Just because he calls you his doesn't earn you the right to make it easy for him to leave.

Dating is a full time job with afew benefits ..sexual favors ..being showered with gifts... but unlike marriage it's not for life.Yes, you can always walk away.The minute times get hard, most ladies run off to 'better relationship' or men who have lesser baggages ...not true by the way.Plus not all ladies are the leaving type though if you give me something to leave about best believe I will be out the door before you can pull the we need some time apart card.

Make your intentions fully known.I can go on for days but for now...let reality sink in

In the heat of the moment

I don't know how I will face the world for I have done the one thing I swore I wouldn't never again repeat. It wasn't my intention to fall but truth be told it was beyond my control. I thought about it just before it happened but then the feeling was too over whelming to look away so I gave in. 

My heart is wide open neither broken nor healed. I am left out in the cold for everyone to see yet no one is offering a helping hand. Why won't they hear my screams ... see my tears.... Stop?

I am torn between right and wrong. Torn between then and now. Lost in the moment of passion yet confused with the realization of the reality that awaits me. What will become of me tomorrow?But tonight a beast has been awakened ... One that will be hard to tame. 

Dear God,I tried my best but I should have tried harder to resist his spell over mylife.How dare you come over so late  ...leave without a simple goodbye after giving me a taste of sin? I still want so much more but I can't handle it not for now anyway...

I have just realized that in the heat of a moment am completely inlove. I did not intend to leave alone plan it but it just happened.In the heat of a moment my heart skipped a beat. In the heat of a moment a moment happened. 

Oh life!

Life is messed up.No need to sugar coat it.One minute it offers you what you think is the world and the next it's that one annoying person you can never imagine away. The one thing I like about it is that it's not a respecter of persons.It doesn't choose who to beat down the most or reward.Unpredictable is the best term to sum it up.No matter how good you are it has a way of allowing the worst of it's kind craw their way in your life and no matter how bad society thinks you are it always finds a way to reward you with the one thing everyone else agrees you don't deserve.

I have learnt that no matter how nice you are to people they will always find a way to betray you in the worst way.As if they didn't know you better.That is the most absurd thing of all.Like I thought we were friends....I thought you knew me....I thought....see that right there is the problem.Thinking so I avoid thinking about life and people altogether because the results are always the same...unfair.Instead I walk around telling myself that life has taught me everything I have offered both directly with my actions  and directly with my thoughts.So as a result I have come to the conclusion that I need to love myself a little bit more just incase the world (life) forgets to tell me,I already know it.

Survival tactics ...deny yourself nothing in life ..that's right whatever life can offer take it better yet grab it and run with it.I have learnt that even the devil doesn't mess with anyone who doesn't have anything to offer *giggles* .Ever been in a situation where you were determined to get something yet you didn't even have the means leave alone the skills to get it but got it anyway?That is the same attitude you should have every morning or everytime you leave the house.Some of you will use this information for evil but no worries there are consequences awaiting you at the end of the tunnel ...You can't plant evil and expect to harvest good ...let's be real.

In conclusion just know there are people who are just not meant to be in your life no matter how selfless you become going out of your way to lend a hand.It will never happen.And if for some reason they start to warm up to you,they want either to ruin you or rob you of the very same thing that you are after.Be wise.Stay where you are celebrated not where you are tolerated.

You matter... You have always mattered.

There are people to this day and age who still walk & live like if something bad was to happen to them and they died they feel like it wouldn't make a difference.You are mad to even think for a second no one would miss you. Just because it's never about you are like 27dresses the movie you are always going out of your way yet no one is ever willing to risk it all for you right? Wrong!!

Understand that even thought life doesn't celebrate you leave alone unfold the way you always see it do for others doesn't mean you are just a stepping stone for others. Lady you have no idea what I have been through. You are right I don't but that doesn't give you the right to dismiss your life or sell yourself short as far as hope and believing goes. 

I know that you are tired heck everyone is tired at one time but I will not sit here writing this and act like I get what you are going through because I don't. But you know what I applaud the effort you make each day having to wake up to nothing without a glimpse of hope in your eyes and a heart full of disappointment. That I know how if feels like. 

The good news news is that you are not the only one nor the fist to endure such burdens at such a tender age ... I say tender because you have not lived long enough to enjoy the fruits of your hard work. The bad news is that you have allowed that mentality rob you of the chance to live your life a better way. Listen no one needs negativity in their lives so if people don't want to be associated with you it's not because you have nothing to offer them but simply because they just don't want to be around someone who keeps complaining all the time. 

Stop it already! The pity party has been fun but now it's time to look into the light literally. You need to make an effort and this can only start with you. If you want to be invited then show some interest. Get out there and do something. Thank heaven for couches so you are no longer available to be used or pushed around. 

You matter. I may not know you the way you deserve to be known but you matter to someone out there ... sure my parents and a friend or two.... No! You matter to so many people whose lives you have changed in simple ways than you think. Perhaps you don't require a prize but to someone like myself you matter. 

You have allowed people's opinions take over your life yet I don't see them asking for your opinion in their lives. Ever thought of that?Given the chance to change the world or life what would it be all about? Don't tell me just do it... Think of this as a open second chance blog to eye kind of thing. I refuse to give up on you as a matter of fact I forbid you to give up on yourself *tough love*

Decisions

Well eventually sooner or later you have to make a decision .... Silence in itself is a  decision you know so every reaction however minor or major counts. 

So how do you know you have made the right decision when you can face the situation & the people in well from that situation right in the eye and not feel like chocking the life out of them or setting the place on fire. That is how you know. When you know you have done all you can giving it everything you had in you and walk away feeling a certain peace ... strange silence.... that is when you are ready for then what in your life. 

Ensure that before you start anything new that all pending issues are solved well those that you can handle. Always thrive to be the"bigger man" be mature enough not to earn respect but know that your conscious is clear. Be at peace with yourself. 

The minute you start minding your own is when everyone else becomes intrigued in your life.So why not give them something worthwhile to admire if not talk about

You never know how lucky/blessed you are until you come across someone without or go a day watching the very same thing that was under your care in the care of someone else.It's all fun and games until one of you gets hurt and the only way that happens is when one of you develops feelings.As if even the very best friends with benefits can dodge the I want more coming soon we need to talk road.Can boys and girls just be friends oh yes but can ladies and gentlemen just be friends I doubt.On of you will want more.If that doesn't happen the both of you are lying.You just don't wake up and realize that they mean more to you than you thought, it has to be triggered by a third party ....or distance.....then reality dawns ...it hits you ...suddenly you panic so you do what anyone in your situation would do, deny and by doing so you tend to avoid your best friend forever who to me if you ask me is your best friend for now.

Everything changes.It's not intentional but life just happens.You find yourself being irritated by certain remarks and upset over petty things that earlier were a great source of humor.No one saw this coming....no one could, would have prepared you for this...anything but this.The very smile you wore as an accessory is the one thing you are slowing trading in for a change even you cannot comprehend.Take for example if you were the shy friend you slowly start airing your views claiming you were never given an opportunity to be heard.Seriously!?That right there is what I call coughing up an attitude.I don't blame you though but it gets ugly if not controlled in the very early stages.

Jealousy is not only an ugly word but a color that no woman should ever flaunt...ever!It shouts more of how insecure you are than reflect just how caring you are to go the extra mile to protect the person in your life.There are certain bad things when done the right way come off as less offensive ...cute.See hoe a celebrity like Usher uses something so 'normal' yet to others private well for those of us brought up understanding that certain things should only be shared by a lady and a gentleman in private as a way of expressing just how much they mean to each other.He sings about being a good kisser and when you think of the different types of kisses you realize that for him to actually crown a lady a good kisser he must have really 'explored alot of mouths'.Think about it. One must be a kissaholic to know if you are good or not.

If you can avoid ruining a good friendship then be brave enough to let your friend know.They will respect you enough to be honest even though the feelings may not be mutual.Don't be bitter regardless of their rejection, just accept and live your life.But sadly most of you would rather live in the fear of what if all in the name of friendship just to survive another day in the spotlight of someone who will never look at you the same way your eyes dance and heart skips a beat.Do not deny yourself the chance to be truly happy waiting/holding on to ghost feelings.How long will you keep hoping yet life will not stand still until the day you decide to start living life the way you should without the fear of the unknown.

The beauty of facing your greatest fear is knowing that you don't have to use words like I WISH  for indeed I DID. That is no longer on your conscious ...you are free of that burden.That is when you get to answer the same questions you thought you were stuck with.That is when you understand that the people who were meant to be in your life will find a way in and those that are not meant to, will leave.Quit camping at that closed door while opportunity keeps presenting itself but you are too sad, mad and disappointed to enjoy.That is why you had to be hurt broken to appreciate the ones who will love you enough to stay.Like I always say,it takes a bad man/woman to appreciate a good one.Think about it and while you are at it...live...live for you.

What happens when you have been out of the dating scene for years?You block everyone out.It's never intentional though at times the offers coming around aren't as enticing as you would have hoped they would be.Not that you are looking for a dog ladies you know tall, dark, handsome,well built,generous,faithful and one who meets your every demand that is what I meant by a 'dog'.If he is tall, chances are he is not good looking 'awkwardly sexy' type of man you go for where others would refer to as 'super ugly' see he can be unappealing but rich enough to date.you want the type that no other woman will want thus ugly yet wealthy enough to keep around for him to be insecure enough to cheat or replace you with another.That is how you differentiate between a woman who is working smart with another working hard.The one working hard will apply the ninety day rule...well will follow ever trick in the book to keep that man glued and  interested.Take for instance the ones who apply the reverse psychology game plan.They always act uninterested or too independent to get that man's attention.Does it work sometimes but why go through all that when you can have that man lusting and loving you from halo.

There are two kinds of females, the ones who read in between the lines and the ones who let men read in between the lines.The former females are always the ones pushing good guys away and end up complaining that all the good men are married,gay or sunk in the titanic I should know am one of these ladies.The later end up turning good men into believing that all women cheat,are lesbians and good for nothings and should be slapped around every now and then just incase we forget our place in the society as weaklings.I tell it like it is.We all want a relationship like that of Beyonce and Jay mainly because she is a strong black woman who is self driven and has earned her place in the world and Jay who is also a black influential man who has three things every man wants power, money and a beautiful woman by his side.That will never happen so no no matter how hard you try we will never pull a 'bee-hive' relationship.so why can't we just me us in our own ridiculously awesome way.Lets make history enough for our kids to want such a friendship,love,lust, thrive, determination, success and all those good things that come with it?

This is one of the reasons why relationships have become overrated.People have forgotten what us is all about.You are busy looking for a her in me and I looking for a him in you forgetting we are two different unique individuals yet we have it to make us last.So gentlemen, quit looking at us ladies as if we are all the same.I assure you we may look the same but we are as different as day and night.This is the self made problem men are struggling with.Using the same old rules to approach different ladies.You need to take the time to 'study' her first and know which card to pull instead of claiming that we are either playing too hard to get or too damn intimidating.We are not animals I assure you but if you took the time to realize that you would be happy and contented with each relationship you got in.Ladies,If you have no intention of dating that man please don't lead him on or think that just because he is available he should only be in your life and no one elses.Don't be selfish nor self centered otherwise you will end up bitter and alone.

Ladies and gentlemen,do not rush.Simply take the time to communicate and know what you want and expect in return.There is no Mr or Mrs right.It's up to the two of you to see and bring out the best of each other thus landing you the title 'perfect or good together'.If you want to be the one, you have to be the one and how do you earn it, by simply working towards being the best you.I assure you everyone has their own rib so quit squeezing yourself in the wrong hole.

This is how you know if you are in the right relationship or not.If you are better than you were alone then by all means hold on, fight , make him realize why he fell inlove with you in the first place but if all you ever do is make excuses for him or her and have developed some bad habits that have separated you from your family and true friends just to fit in their world, pick up what is left of your dignity and move on.When you think of her do you smile or do you feel like she robbed you of a chance to be truly happy with another?when you see him do you have butterflies or pee yourself out of fear?

These things happen, it's life but you have to weigh and see which one is worth the trouble.

Happy New month bloggers.We ll to all those ladies who cannot leave the house without make up on ..thank heaven for Halloween ...I don't mean to laugh but I will silently to myself *giggles*. With a new month comes new expectations and changes so what ever happened in September unless it was a new love or anything positive really leave it in that old month.Move on already the month has.

In life you have to loose some to win some but for those of you who always have to win expect nothing less this new month.Personally I make it a habit to let go of some old things I clung to the previous month...friends who are just that friends you know the ones that don't make it for you there are just there really ...those had to go sorry people ...negativity did not make it to October as well, that ill behavior had to be buried in last month ...it was nothing grand...just a short ceremony.For the rest of us who occasionally win, run with the feeling.

For those of you born in October damn I can't believe you had to wait this long to celebrate.The year is almost over well just beginning for all of you like how does that work out?The beginning to the end ...interesting ...that reminds me, I should totally hook up with an October gentleman.It says here you guys are thinkers.Wait did I read right ...nice learning about Libras here.That right there is enough to land any man who is already termed as nice to the friendzone level never going to happen.But let's not be hard on such gentlemen ladies after all we always claim to want the nice kind of gentlemen by our sides.

I need to learn more so any man willing to teach me a thing or two about the Libra world is free to do so.Like I said new month new adventures.Whatever happens be open minded ladies and gentlemen.
Until then be nice .....
ONE!