Selflessness

I am one second away from betraying myself. Have you ever met someone you never thought would mean so much to you.He is not even what you go for so you keep telling yourself just to talk yourself out of it. I have no control whatsoever and by that I mean I can't help but miss him even though I will never show it. Oh yes, we too have pride.

I am kinda having one of this.I am as stubborn as a mule when it comes to the matters of the heart and not just with anybody but the ones you just can't explain how they became important in the first place. My head and heart had a pact to stay together but it looks like my heart has betrayed my brain and now I can't think straight. I am having an internal war with myself one that I think my brain will loose. How do you compete with the heart?




Something my friend told me just left me speechless. If you love someone or something then let it go but if it comes back or finds its way back to you then you know it was meant to be. I wanted to burst out laughing I really did but I didn't. I was a firm believer in all these beautiful sayings until reality checked in and I became like everyone else and started doubting. I know a thing about denial. I have been in a relationship with denial and cheated on the truth with it as well.I guess when you assume or make yourself believe that nothing good ever comes out of a good deed it is easier not to be disappointed than always having to go out of your way for lif to mess you up.That is just but one of my many opinions. 

All I know as far as selflessness goes is that it always has a way of favoring you. I guess that is why when someone or something is meant to be others see it as well and are always the ones making a fuss about it while you just sit there , laugh and shake your head.It is not as exciting as you anticipated it to be not because it is not what you wanted but simply because it took too long to get there so you learnt to be patient if not open of the possibility that it can as well leave. 

Selflessness to me means you want it but for the sake of the other party you are willing to suffer through the process of loosing it. You loose that fight but in real sense you end up winning the war even though you are all alone, atleast you know you did everything you could. There is that sudden look everyman has whenever they are not ready to settle down and by settling down it doesn't necessarily mean marriage. That I want to be with other women look. Let me go out there and see if there is another version of you. As a proper lady the only thing you can do is let him go. Note that I used the term proper. Making him stay is another option but if you truly want the best for each other you have to be willing to give him what he wants. By doing that you are giving yourself the chance to discover yourself as well. Two things will happen well actually five things will happen. He will go and never come back. He will go do 'his thing' realize that he has outgrown that phase in his life and come back. You will take him back. You will have met someone along the way and moved on. Both of you will agree that it was the best thing that ever happened to the both of you, moving on that is.

Think about it, you could be holding on to someone else's happiness and in the process denying yourself the opportunity to be loved the way you truly deserve. In robbing him, you are only robbing yourself.






 



Happy December....Holidays