God
There is more to it than what meets the eye(s)
I could tell that he was sad by the way his head hang down.I could tell that something was wrong because unlike the other days,my heart did not skip a beat.The feeling was different.Unlike others I could tell that he was not himself.I doubt he noticed but I did notice him.Instead he walked right past me like I did not mean that much to him like he did to me.I could tell, I can still tell because when you are this deep into someone you need not ask what is wrong, you already sense something is wrong. No unless you have ever come across such a person and felt the way I feel you will think am just about to loose it if you have not concluded that already.
His eyes lacked the sparkle I always see right at the very corner of each eye.They did not dance neither did his voice cover up the fact that he was not okay.I knew what I had to do so I did.I just had to let him be not by pushing him away but being wise enough to know him being a man he is too proud to admit that anything is the matter leave alone he needs my help or me.Being a lady who values a man's value and worth ensuring that I submit just enough to let him know that he is incharge but stand my ground that indeed you have not earned the right to be incharge yet, I pulled out my wild card.I know nothing about poker or gambling so before you correct me kindly focus on what am trying to communicate.
This is where I pulled the friendship card.Not the one where you pat his back and let him know everything will be fine or rub it to his face I told you so or play parent at the moment demanding for answers to ghost questions ....you know what am talking about...no none of that.I pulled the 'bro code' card.Just sit there don't expect him to talk just sit and go with the flow.Don't try the reading trick by staring deep into his eyes to see if he is acting or covering up more that you think he is going through.No just don't think about it ...any of it...just be there....be the same old you around him.No love talk or girly acts, just be cool...cool enough to fit it...don't try too hard least he notices and avoid you altogether. At some point I just wanted to ask , reach over and hug him but we all know am not built like that.Being a tomboy this came in very handy.
Everyone has battles they are struggling with.The key is accepting that no matter how good you are you can not solve someone elses struggle.I term them as 'demons'.That is when people show their true colors and the trick is not how you handle your demon but knowing you have a demon.The 'demon' could be an insecurity, a past ...name them ....we all have them.This is where you are left helpless.You need a supernatural power if not intervention.Some experiences can be too overwhelming so know which card to pull where.One thing I have learnt is what is beyond my control I simply leave it to God.I am not about to go all preacher on any of you leave alone myself so I will keep it sweet and short.Do not be afraid to ask for help.The worst mistake we all make is thinking we got this yet all that is left is a dark cloud.We already chased away everyone that offered to help, broke down everything in the room, destroyed the very thing we 'built' and all that is left is total darkness and the wind.Even the sun avoids you..imagine that..
I hope this helps anyone out there..not everything entirely but atleast something positive they can make out of this and make it their own.Life is not short....life is too long to allow people's negativity, anger and bitterness rob them short of what could,might and would have been.You will never know until the day you decide to take a step back, breathe in and out (that should buy you some time to think straight) then act.
Let me go handle my business....not really mine but hey....*fingers crossed*
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