Learn to adjust.

No matter how much you care about someone,you have to love them enough to allow them face their own demons(go through a certain phase in their lives) alone.Meanwhile the best support you can offer them is by secretly praying for them.Another way you can do that is loving them enough to assure them that by you distancing yourself from them doesn't mean you don't care but trust that they will use that to handle the situation sooner than later.I have come to accept that no matter how good and loyal you are you have to give people space to not only appreciate your presence but get on back on their feet all on their own.I can't want this for you if all you see is the ground.I can't keep believing in you if all you ever do is doubt yourself. You have got to want it bad enough all on your own.I need you to start seeing the greatness the people around you give you when they say the beautiful things they say about you.Understand I can't put my life on hold to help you live out that situation.I call you a friend for a reason.I see things that no one else sees ....I see you but it looks like you stare in the mirror but never see yourself.

When someone you care about is hurting,you end up hurting twice.One for you would love to change the situation but you can't and two they always end up making you feel like you failed them.As a true friend, when your friend is down somehow you find yourself in bad moods.It takes two to tangle even in friendships.If am succeeding you will succeed. Like I always tell myself, you attract who you are. If the kind of men or ladies you end up with never take you seriously it is because deep down you never take yourself serious.Not always the case but in most in my opinion.I am the over protective type of friend who only wants the best for those I care about.So even when you are going through a tough time, I want to step in and save the day be it through cracking a joke, encouraging or just whispering a prayer.But I have learnt that the minute you not nag someone to tell you what is going on (give them space) they come up ontop of things better and not bitter.Every situation is supposed to teach you a lesson and by saving you it means you will never learn and will always expect a helping hand.

Space and time is not supposed to break you but grow and toughen you up in a mature way.It equips you in ways only a wise man can understand.Information is power but experience roots wisdom. Learn to Adjust.

Thanks to "shades" this is my Grey #RealityCheck

If we are being real, when you meet that someone you consider special, that someone only you can see while everyone else ignores.When I say meet ladies ladies I mean when you finally open your eyes and allow your gut feeling see him like see him see him for the very first time and you can already hear the younger, vulnerable small body in him asking ,"where have you been all my life?" when you finally let your guard down and whisper back with a shy yet reassuring voice,"Waiting.....I have been waiting ready to be found by a man like you" and he gives you the usual talk like men must be throwing themselves at you and you think to yourself no they haven't but in actual reality they have been, remember the guy you asked you out for coffee, the guy who is always laughing at your jokes hoping you will finally see that the joke has been on you and that he has been there....See in actual sense men have asked you out, men you never gave a second thought to but none like this mysterious man standing right infront of you with his suit revealing his masculine body tailored to fit every inch of his gorgeous body...am sorry I had to stop myself....Gentlemen understand this when we fall for you like when a lady falls for all of you especially the real you, you are no longer good looking or handsome but us you become the unexplored and undiscovered treasure and that is why when you walk into a room we are in, personally my eyes dance, my skin glows, I can't hide the smile on my face which is a clear indication that am pleased to see you,I want to hug you and not the Christian way where my back is way back there and my front can hardly touch your chest....I want to feel your heart beat....get lost in your arms holding on to you as if am clinging to dear life.

Gorgeous and sexy are words used to describe the man we ladies want by our side.That beautiful man wherever he is. He can never do wrong by us.Even if he messes us he still comes out a hero and the he got it kind of man.You have earned our loyalty although we will never show it.You have earned our trust even though we will never agree and in most cases will laugh off anything you ever tell us. Such men are the composed type who are real gentlemen in public but in private, am sorry ladies that is something you will have to unveil on your own.My lips are sealed......for now anyway.Such men are powerful and successful but none of that matters when we finally see past their generosity. They can be intimating and high maintenance but we all and I mean all have weaknesses so the minute you find it, use it to your advantage.That is a master key but even keys can unlock a room full of demons if not skeletons so be wise.

This goes out to all the men out there that I have described, it has never and will never be about your hard earned money.We appreciate that you have made a name for yourself and earned your mark if not respect in society but the reason I chose to take a risk on you was simply because of the way you saw me.You took the time to look and see past my insecurities, you saw the smile behind the frown and saw a better version of me.Gentlemen, you make us fall for you.When a man asks a lady ,"tell me about yourself?" and some of us who have amazing personalities but never show and always tend to be the ones behind the scene have the same obvious answers ,"what's there to tell, I mean look at me?" When a man stops and stares after that and says ,"I am looking at you" that changes everything .It awakens a side of us we never even knew existed before. It is not that we are not confident but when a man who has had the chance to work with all sorts of females and still manages to utter such beautiful words, time stands still.You know it is true.

With such men,you don’t search they come looking for you when you least expect to bump into such a man who eventually leave you feeling like dear God, what is happening to me, my life and why is this man still here?When you find yourself liking a man you never would have given a second thought about, that is how beautiful love got you.It got you good!

Salon matters

No woman wants to wake up looking like a garden toad leave alone having to leave the house feeling unpretty. I am not make but I imagine they too want to look presentable enough for no particular reason ... am kidding for others to see he is doing well and for us ladies ofcourse . We appreciate the effort and that is why image is important. I used to think differently but as you mature you tend to take care of yourself more. 

This calls for a make up and to be brutally honest some of us ladies could use a make under. Everything is just all over . I am sorry ladies but that is a #RealityCheck. As a lady of a certain age there is a particular way I want my hair and nails done. I want to look age appropriate but if there is a way my beauty well the hair dresser can make me look five to ten years younger best believe I will not only be loyal but I will definitely be tipping her/him. 

Like any villager we all walk into the salon and barbershop desperate. We already have the same bs result in mind so if they match up our expectations excellent but if not mark this face this is the first and last time I will trust you ever again. The same way you sit on that "hot" seat is the same way you feel about any pending situation. You are still not sure how the outcome will be but you already know it's too late you are dotted. One wrong move and there goes your ear or chin depending on what your mission was. 

True beauty in this case is not having your say but trusting whomever is handling your situation fix it. You surrendering doesn't mean you loose but you end up winning. Having power but not using it. Being offered a chance but not taking it by allowing them wow you is sheer courage. Turning down something you love that is power for whatever happens happens makes you humble  and trustworthy enough to be around. To those who do not understand it may come off as an opportunity lost or stupidity but to those wise enough it is the beginning of a road to the unknown. 

Taking This Opportunity To Say Thank You

See viewers like you make me feel guilty everytime I stop blogging.Stop it!So this blog today is all about you ridiculously awesome checkmates. You give me a reality check.That I have to finish what I began although at times I have to admit I am halfway through the let me out lane.Whomever said quitting is not an option must have been high on some expensive substance but unlike he or she I choose to stay.I believe it takes a mad human being to get the job done.Normalcy will just slow you down to be brutally honest.

So what do you do when your prayers are answered?Obviously like any other human being we all want the next agenda solved as well.This morning I feel challenged by the story of the ten leapers. Only one went back to say thank you.You hypocrite some of you may be pointing out as I write and you read on but unlike you, I am never ashamed of being a believer. Best believe if I feel the need to protect myself nothing and I mean nothing is ever out of the question.You will acknowledge my presence if not feel my wrath. See women we are fragile creatures and forgiving but when you cross that enough is enough somebody has got to put you in your place boundary, all hell always breaks loose.

I am taking this opportunity to say thank you.To those of you who know or think they know me, well I can't blame you for trying.For those of you who don't, it will be a great honor to get to so hang in there.I am thankful first and foremost to the Almighty God for allowing me start this blog and allowing each passing day inspire me to be better.I would like to thank my dysfunctional family and to those of you without such a crazy family,you are missing out big time.I want to thank my bestfriend who has proven to be a sister.I celebrate you babygal. I am thankful for love for without it I would probably be beating myself down in a dark corner.I am thankful for all those who left my life. You taught me a valuable lesson. Just because we grew up together doesn't mean we have the same dreams.Not everyone is meant to be in your life leave alone success.You are part of the story though.I am thankful for the disappointments I have had to encounter both in my love life and finances. I had to lack for me to want more.I had to be with a bad man for me to appreciate a good one.

I am thankful for you who always takes his or her time to go through this unusual blog.Correct me if am wrong but isn't this what life is all about?At times you just want a word to get you through the day, a song to ease the pain and sometimes someone who has been there?I am tempted to say am all that and more but I would be lying because the truth is, you never know what to expect from me, you just have to let me surprise you.One thing you can be sure of though is unless you give me a reason to not trust, I am always loyal to those I consider phenomenal.Why them, because it takes one to know one.


Thank you darlings!

Simply Because

What do you do when uncertainty kicks in?The way I see it, you have multiple choices but considering that would be too much work I choose to allow the uncertainty clear itself all on its own.Meanwhile I will keep doing what I am good at if not better.Like any director knows,the show must go on.What do you know about taking risks?Personally, I did a research like I dug deep into the one thing I could do that normal I couldn't and it turns out it is actually pretty good on the other side.On the other side of my fears that is.

Where there is a will there is always a way.When you want it bad enough and never give up somehow it all comes together.Understand this as much as we all agree that without the resources it is not achievable but the minute you go the extra mile to be at a particular place you somehow push yourself beyond the comfort zone and you end up gaining more than you had bargained.So while you are busy talking yourself out of life,"no this is not for me" time and life are walking right past you.

The disabled people begging for change on the streets understand what am 'talking about'. They have had enough of the pity party talks in their heads and from everyone else until they decided to take a leap of faith.As much as the odds were against them still they went ahead and left their place of comfort to be out there vulnerable and without a blink of shame they took it upon themselves to earn.I admire their courage.See,the ones who have it going on are always the ones playing it safe.

The beautiful ladies in most cases are the ones who always insecure over petty allow say petty because everything else is already in place.If only I had a bigger behind.Trust you me, the minute you do initially 'get' that enhancement or weight it wont change your thinking.The problem to begin with is not your body but your mind.The way you view and criticize yourself determines how far you will get in life."Bad girls always get the dream man" simply because they are courageous enough to put themselves out there.In short, they have nothing to loose.

God created Eve while Adam was asleep.Creation time is over why are you still asleep in your own life.If sleeping is your defense mechanism as to why life has not be looking up, kindly purchase an extra blanket and allow life tuck you in but if you are down being a fan and you want a piece of the championship, get up and get going.

Have a little more faith .....stay

Like any other human being,I always prayed bad situations away.That is how I learnt to survive knowing I had an easy way out.But the one thing I missed out was the lesson that that bad and hard situation was meant to teach me so year in I became comfortable to an extent of being contented.
The problem came in when I started wanting more out of life.I knew and know there is more that life has to offer other than what I have designed my mind to accept as enough.For me to win, I know I have to loose. For me to succeed it means I have to sacrifice. For all that to happen I have to let go of my will allow a much greater power to full control.I have to surrender and I have to be okay with that.

You cannot have faith if you have stopped believing. In most cases as I have come to realize the many people who have lost their lives be it naturally or through tragedies like the difference between them and those who have survived is one, they stopped believing.There is nothing even the almighty can do for you when you loose the will to live.

Understand that when you are down and defeated deep down still you know that this is not the end of life.Somehow, life will look up. No amount of prayers, intervention or love can save you if you are not willing to save yourself.So instead of praying or wishing the situation away, I have learnt to embrace the hidden lesson.How will you ever learn how to defeat your enemies if you are not willing to go to war?

Instead of walking with your head hang down, walk upright and face the very same thing you are running away from.Instead of praying the it away pray for sufficient grace because underneath all that I am sure lies something precious.You cannot do that by sweeping the ground but by digging deep and knowing where the roots are.Instead of being mad here is a wild thought,how about you try asking or finding out why the person is acting up.You would be surprised either how not so big of a deal the situation is or just how long the person has had to endure until one day they couldn't bear it no more.

I Don't Know....Shut The Hell Up

You think people love and support you until you get your breakthrough and their masks come off, the I like you turns into I can barely stand you and then they start competing with you.



Welcome to the real world where the only person you can count on is yourself, afew prayers and if you are lucky someone who has been there and understands the cycle.

I guess it is every man and woman for themselves. You know they will be discussing you the minute you either walk in or walk out so you might as well give them something worth their time.Never apologize for being you leave alone for being blessed.If only they took the time to know your story somehow they would I don't know shut the hell up or mind their not so perfect lives. As a matter of fact , have you ever noticed that the very same people with petty issues are always the not so good looking(physically challenged), bitter(somehow you have what they always dreamed of owning) and insecure(they need to be in herds consulting with their fellow frienemies).

They are shallow and pathetic but we all can't be wealthy so I understand you have to lack for me to have.I hardly pay attention when you throw tantrums like a two year old with a nasty full diaper but if you yell or scream loud enough perhaps I will have someone come put you in your place. It comes with power, you delegate and it is done.Something these roaches should keep in mind.
Stay in your lanes.Like someone hilariously said,"some of you have bicycle faces with Range Rover appetites". Now that is a ‪#‎RealityCheck‬

Expect the Worst

I always encourage others as well as myself that you should always expect the worst as far as life goes. I woke up with a smile on my face, checked in with my reflection that life would unfold beautiful only to wake up to reality.That is when I changed my thoughts. I used to hold it against the people that fell short of my expectations.Now I wake up with a here we go on my face and encourage my reflection that I am neither the first nor the last so do what you can not to prove a point to others but to satisfy my well being and prove my inner curiosity wrong. It wasn't all that bad. I am still here.

When going for a job interview no matter how qualified you think you are always leave a little room for the word no and then you will walk into that room not desperate enough to accept any position but confident enough to know hey, atleast I tried.Even when in shock act as though it has not affected you in any way.Check in with your brain first.Do not and I repeat do not cave unless you have a back up plan.Be alert at all times. Where possible whisper a prayer then listen. Being silent is a secret weapon that wise people apply what the rest of us term as reverse psychology. Use the very same words used on you to get yourself out of any situation.

You will be surprised when you expect the worst how things realign themselves for the good.

Oh Monday *tears*

What in the world did I ever do to Monday for it to be so irritatingly hot this early and I already know what to expect.This is not going to be a long day rather just end already.To me, Monday feels like the day after a break up.You are just mad at yourself for expecting so much and for giving so much and not getting the same in return. The world seems cold at that particular point. Everywhere you go people stop and stare as if their agenda of the day is be annoying.When you walk past them you can swear that you hear their conversations behind your back about you which is not that unusual but the tone they use leaves you second guessing if you are a good person in the first place.

Secretly though, I enjoy watching people be their true selves on Monday. Right before the caffeine kicks in. I feel sick.I have tricked my mind into believing that I can't function like the usual high on life me so right about now my entire body is not only tired but heavy.I can't handle the weight. Do you see how powerful the mind is?Well on behalf of single people please allow me crown myself the ultimate Bachelorette. The day after a break up is the worst experience any human being can ever go through.This is when all hell breaks loose and the devil feels the competition. The only thing that lingers in mind is I have nothing to loose so I am willing to do anything and everything to take the pain away.

The weekend led you on making you commit fully yet it knew it was short lived. It feels as though it is judgement day,a this is it moment, do or die. Then in comes the madness that people bring along with them.Everyone is looking for a way out yet not willing to own their share of the responsibility. How do you balance it all? You don't you just play your part and hope the rest will unfold on its own.
You take any positive or good thing you can and use that to change the situation around.You change your mindset as well. If you believe you will have a bad day, don't be surprised if everything comes crumbling down.In any situation learn to be calm.

Sunday

I don't know if it's the loneliness writing this or am just being a little to real but Sunday's tend to feel like fifteenth February you know the day after Valentines Day. You sit there staring in one directions thoughts clouding your mind. It sounds more of having a board meeting with I, Me & Myself and they all can't seem to agree. 

You had expectations on the fourteenth which in this case was the entire week so here we are again. You have been doing the same thing over and over again but nothing seems to be adding up. Sunday thoughts creep up dawning on you that enough is enough. Like Valentine's Day you have been waiting for this relationship to go to the next level but nothing. Ladies, this year most of you were hoping that he would finally pop the question after all you have played your part as the patient not forgetting loyal girlfriend all too well. But no! He repeated the very same words you had vowed never to tolerate from any man even him even though you know there is no life without him. I tend to think that's how someone madly and deeply inlove reasons. 

Gentlemen, you have out done yourselves by being by her side even when she pushed you away and your bank account is a witness. All these years and time you have been waiting for that one sign or reason why you should finally settle down with her but still she gave you nothing.

Sunday leaves you feeling like life bit you in the heart. The bleeding doesn't stop. It's the one day everyone stays indoors nursing hangovers and acting the happy family to save face. For those of us who look forward to going to church for the weeks word at times we leave the house of God feeling short. Like pastor you are telling me one thing but life is handing me the opposite. 

Just reflect on what is expected of you the coming week , forget the disappointments and embrace the new unfolding unknown new experience. Thank you Sunday.