I am Ruth

When I lost those friendships back then, I was scared. They would obviously have on thing in common which was they no longer liked me. That didn’t hurt me. Are you kidding me ? That broke me. Having people who knew you turn their back on you is like walking into a battle field with nothing to protect yourself with and outnumbered. God how did you do that? When you learn to accept the harsh reality, you automatically become cautious of everyone around you. Just like that I became my own soldier.

I have my weak moments but that only happens when I love. I have given love a try or two or whatever. This date a broke guy grow together, get with an ambitious gentleman he will invest in you madness, yes I have tried and failed miserably. People are out here only for themselves. I avoid drama and where I can I walk away and where I can’t I block it out. LITERALLY!!! So now what am teaching myself of late is this. To not and avoid saying am already used to it. In a way am hindering myself by uttering and projecting the past results.

If am not good at borrowing what makes you assume I will even attempt to beg for something or someone to stay in my life. If anything I will be the first to encourage you to leave. Please let me hold the door for you and kindly don’t ever look back. There is so much more outside. That’s neither fear nor arrogance. It’s knowing I no longer have it in me to entertain and tolerate people or things that don’t grow and push me to grow. That’s why my bestfriend is my best friend. We don’t share the same dreams but we bring out the best in each other as friends. As for my soulmate I remember praying and dedicating that son of a woman wherever he is that if he doesn’t understand and see Gods purpose in my life, don’t let him near me. Erase him from my mind and teach my heart to not love him.

I joke around about alot of things but when it comes to God, I don’t even hesitate. Am a fool for God. It doesn’t have to make sense as long as it’s God ordering it. I will show up. I will deliver. If  God sends me your way, clearly you will learn the hard way. I am Ruth.

There is a reason why my parents named me Ruth. I don’t use my first name because it’s who I am and not just anyone is worthy of my undivided devotion and commitment. For me to do all that you are either a Naomi or Boaz. I must discern your spirit. I have nothing to offer you in the flesh. But as along as when I kneel and call upon the name of God, baibèé I have everything to offer you. I would rather lose the love of my life than who I am in God. No hard feelings but let me walk you out. Bye

I blog because it’s one of Gods gift to me. You don’t need an army by your side to feel safe, secure and loved. You just need to get your relationship with God right and forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself. Accept your shortcomings. Be a decent human being. God will bring everyone who is meant to be in your life stay & newness will blossom. Let them leave. Stop clinging to closed doors. You are amazing to look at and be around if only you paid attention to yourself long enough to realize that. In everything give thanks to God #MyMagazineThoughts