7 o'clock

I am learning to praise God in my journey and not in my destination. It's amazing how people define you by where they met you given your then circumstances. Have you ever been in a relationship where you were required to be the complete opposite not to fit in but because at the time you were required to sacrifice to make it work? 

Being a church girl and spending most of my time with guys who did not share the same "holistic values" and dating a drunkard is not what my folks had in mind as far as their daughter was concerned. But I was young, rebellious and inlove. 

We were lost in each other's dreams rather I was lost in making his dreams a reality that at some point  I had to choose between my career and him and ended up choosing him. Talk of the ultimate sacrifice. He didn't ask me to but I felt that if he made it, I would have accomplished atleast one dream in mylife.

As soon as he got an opportunity to advance in life, he did not hesitate to leave me behind. Things that come too fast are dangerous. The set of friends he got himself saw me as a hinderance. From bein his angel to being generalized as you women are all the same was the reward I got from holding a good man down when all he had was a glimpse of a better tomorrow. 

So forgive me gentlemen if I don't hold your hand when times get hard and I don't pray for you when ends don't meet. Forgive me if I don't humble myself enough to want to be in the bad times and only want the good times when you have figured your shenanigans out. 

I am not bitter and will never take it out on a good man but am not about to replay the past with a new man. I will not mold a young man into a fine gentleman for other women to spit on my face. I am not about to sit and watch you throw your hard work down the drain just to get laid by entertaining the immediate fame. 

With all due respect I wouldn't mind another woman going out of her way for me the way I did for another. So wherever you are pretty angel thank you for taking care of that man for me. Thank you for putting up with his foolishness and know that I have his best interest at heart.

If we happen to fall inlove, I will not feel guilty for not being the one to have urbanized his village ways. When he finds me,I will fall head first and time will be our dance floor. I will adore,celebrate and thank God for him.The reason why am saying all this is because I understand you will be like the old bitter me. Who felt cheated, unrewarded and short changed by God.

I am only human and live by my own truth. 

And that is my #RealityCheck