Still

My heart is pounding as I write this. Still I wait. For the day all this will make sense. Still I hope that this is not in vain.Still I believe that no matter what nothing I ever do will stop me from becoming the Lord had me become. Still I look beyond now, today that tomorrow holds a new day, promise and opportunity to if not make me better, better someone else. Still I hold on to the memories I have made this year. They have molded me into becoming the lady I am today. Some good and some well not all that good. Still I choose. I am filled with choices that will make or break me but being torn in-between is not an option. Still that is how I want to be. Very still in the midst of the unknown and this life.

Still I wonder if I will ever make a difference or leave a mark behind.Still I smile even though just a minute ago I had just broken down.Still I pray even though things only seem to move from bad to worse. Still I encourage even though am mocked.Still I go out of my way even though no one takes the time to return the favor. Still I run even though I should stay and fight. Still I give thanks even though I have nothing to be thankful for....there is always something to be thankful for. Still I dream even though I know it is a waste of time. Still I pretend that I am okay even though I am not. Still I wonder not because I can but simply because I want to. Still I loose even though I gave it my all. Still I hide behind these four walls when I can walk out and experience the light. Still I continue to learn from my mistakes, others and whatever else life throws my way.

Still I question myself in the hope of finding answers. Still I investigate whenever things don't add up. Still I curse using foul language because at times it expresses how I feel about a certain situation and person. Still I sit here as a routine expecting different results. Still I struggle feeling as though no one understands or has gone through what I am going through. Still I deny that am better than I give myself credit for. Still I try to fit in not by indulging in the very same things that they do, but just to have a sense of belonging. Still I am in my own little world. Still I imagine myself years from now. Still I grow at times I embrace yet while the rest of the time I resent it. Still I mature in a way I feel as though am like that fine wine awaiting the right occasion for them to come 'taste' me.

Still I steal. Still I continue to borrow. Still I complain. Still I forget .Still I remember. Still I postpone.Still I wallow .Still I embrace. Still am loyal. Still I am faithful. Still I am trustworthy. Still I am stubborn. Still I forgive. Still I continue to love myself and others.Still I predict. Still I write. Still I breakdown......



 




I am still human.










That is just me. What about you,what still are running in your life?