5pm

Sometimes am heartless at other times am selfless. This has nothing to do with you but how I feel about you. So while you put on a mask as though my life is one golden ballroom, am just the typical DJ who doesn't dance to your tune though I may throw in afew requests.

I think am too hard on myself to be honest. I know what am capable of so being comfortable is not an option but rather a choice. I choose to amaze myself every time. It's not the multi personalities am worried about by my heart. Is it in the right place . I am not hard headed but hard hearted. You can easily fool my mind but at the end of the day my heart requires more that a pick up line or a kiss in the behind. 

I don't believe in first hand information that people change, you have to prove that I can trust you. Am not born loyal perhaps royal ... I never rule this out ... *giggles* but I choose to be loyal because I know what it's like to have someone have your back. Any chance I get to return this I always do without any hesitation. 

I wish people would take as much time in understanding me the same way I do with them. In this life I have come to realize that people easily forget. They rule you out so fast as though you never existed. One slight misunderstanding and they are ready to behead you. What ever happened to stating facts? Where is the evidence? What about what I have to say... Doesn't my opinion count? I am guilty until proven innocent. 

Who has time to make people listen? Who has the energy to go back and forth trying to reason with grownups with an IQ of a toddler. The minute you snap, I loose it. That is why there are so many conflicts  in relationships, friendships and families. Have you ever been in the middle of a heated argument and asked yourself, " wait why are we arguing in the first place?" 

Have you ever been so caught up in a moment that you did something that costed you something or something and you just can't take it back because the person is gone not left but dead? What did you learn from you past that is currently making you better your today day to day life? Why is it that we so badly want to learn through the hard way instead of just learning from others mistakes? We are curious human beings sadly. 

And that is my 5pm #RealityCheck