I am so good at over thinking so the more anxious I am the more I over think and more I expect. I had to take a moment and read what I just wrote. That felt wrong. The outcome has to be the way I envisioned it but let's be honest life doesn't unfold the way we want it to and when we want it to.
When you get the word that keeps you going like say for instance in the beginning of the year you get the word that this will be your year and just like that you take it and run with it. You leave the house of the Lord very pregnant with a burning word ready to deliver. Well that is how it feels because at the end of the day it feels like it is your baby. A miracle baby.
One week later things go from the daily routine to worse. Wait a minute, but the man/woman of God said this was my year. No more delays. Why am I still stuck here having to wait? What am I even waitin for? It reminds me of "with this ring". I always feel like someone read my thoughts and wrote a script about it and the actress did justice. She represented my current situation all too well. I felt as though the director had betrayed me by showing rather telling my story to the entire world. Now they know my big secret. The part where she says ," I don't understand, I have been nothing but good, I go to church,I have waited but still nothing." Well not the exact quote but that is how it came off to me. Like in the end being good doesn't pay off. You are left there stuck with the arrogant ex boyfriend hoping he will come around but ends up moving on.
It doesn't make sense and the one person whom you think is here as a reward from heaven turns out to be another frustration. So you give up. The minute someone tells you something positive the cycle replays itself. Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Let's just wait and see but until then this is my 7:22 #RealityCheck
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